Even if I had the Mona Lisa at home, I’d still want to go to art galleries.

Variety is the spice of life.

You post was interesting for my female mind. It is such a mystery to most of us why men look at porn. I liked hearing what you had to say until you explained that porn is some way of “fantasing” something you’d like to do but wouldn’t do in real life. Not exactly words of comfort. Basically what I hear is you guys like to think about F***ing someone else which if you are in a relationship I think is a disgraceful thing to do to someone you “pledge you love to”. How can you think of sex with someone else. I, as a woman, do not, nor do I want to think of having sex with someone else. It is not my interest when I am with someone important to me and I feel it is a disrespectful thing to do to your partner. So explain this to me. Why do men need to think of sex with another woman? Why can’t they just be satisified? It seems they always want their cake and to eat it to.

THE PROCEEDING MESSAGE APPLIES TO MEN AND WOMEN ALIKE, BUT MOSTLY IN RESPONSE TO THE TOPIC, “WHY MEN LOOK AT PORN” AND “WHAT WOMEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT PORN ON THE INTERNET”

Just a few emoticons to WTF!?!?!?!
All of the men that believe they only ‘view’ porn, of any degree, as an ‘innocent’ pastime, are as full of crap as a sack of manure.

After 30+ years (most spent sexually dealing with men/boys/etc.) of experience, (I am 40-yes, an early starter with a boy the same age) there would be a fed-ex box arriving at each of you’re domiciles with a huge wad of tossed cookies, IF I bought into that and know what I know.

Bottom line : MEN ARE VISUALLY STIMULATED, JUST AS MUCH AS MANUALLY: I DON’T BUY THE ‘it’s only fodder for fantasy’ LINE; NEITHER SHOULD ANYONE ELSE. (No, the BIG LETTERS are not for accentuation, only to keep the points seperate-for those to feeble minded/jaded by the chat programs on the internet).

1) Having married a man, who immigrated from the U.K. and LIVED on the internet (where we met, in 2000 and STILL together), I know just how anyone can ‘convince ‘ themselves that “It’s just the internet, it’s not real!”.

He and I have already gone through the ground breaking, knee jerking, ‘OMG-WTF is that on your hard drive’, because:
a) I’m female,
b) I was the one that lead him into submission/BDSM,
c) I’m female,
d) My reputation, ON and OFF the internet is one of demure but nasty to include EVERYTHING in between,
e) I’m female,
f) Disclosure from the start, HE is well aware that I have the sex-drive of a mack-truck, (yes, even at 40-it’s only getting better!)
g) I’m female,
h) He’s a REAL man and admits that there are perversions that do ‘get his rocks hard just looking/watching’, but there is no comparision to the ‘REAL, LIVE, WENDY DOLL’,
i) I’m female,
j) Visual and Mental stimulation is what ‘excites us’ as a mamal, on most all levels. Just try to sit and watch ANYONE that even slightly appeals to your senses, as they disrobe or dress, allow your mind to wander and HEAR the call of the wild rattle through your brain; before you know it, MENTALLY your body has taken over and BOOM! You’re getting excited, SEXUALLY!
h) oh, and did I mention, I AM A FEMALE and I love it! So does my husband AND every person I’ve ever come in contact with, that has had ANY experience with me.

Played up the “I’m female” bit, to make a minute point; studies have proven that 20% of the male population AND 20% of the female population MENTALLY thinks like the opposite sex; ie. analytical and logical thought processes happen, for some people, on BOTH end of the spectrum. NOT JUST MEN ARE PRIVY TO MENTAL STIMULATION.

It is a hard fact, GENTLEMEN, that PICTURES and VOICES and PERVERTED ACTS drive men to a certain distraction, if not to a train wreck of hormonal overflow.

I’ve had to many ‘in real life’ and ‘on the internet’ experiences to know, “NOT EVERYONE IS REQUESTING MY PERSONAL PICTURES/X-RATED, JUST TO STORE IN/ON THEIR COMPUTERS AS FODDER”. I’ve been the 260 pound petite female and back to my original size of 175 pound, big breasts, ample curvage, sultry eyes, flowing hair and CHARISMA.

O.k.. So I am a naturally ‘sexually’ charged creature; so be it. STOP TRYING TO CONVINCE THE PUBLIC THAT MEN ARE NOT, TO ANY DEGREE, EXCITED BY INTERNET PORN/PERVERSIONS OF A SEXUAL NATURE/VARIETY OF ‘ANOTHER PERSON(S)’. Stop trying to pass this ‘myth’ and lie onto the general public.

I’ll grant that there are a large percent of people, not just women, that dislike or don’t understand the desire for the ‘significant other’ to fantasize with or with out some sort of ‘aide’, whether it be Penthouse Forum Letters, Lush layouts in Playboy or Hustler OR calling a 900# just to hear a voice on the other end ‘say what you want them to say’ so you can ‘fantasize’ that you really are being ‘stimulated’ the way YOU want to be.

Sure, there is the ‘knee-jerking, OMG! Is that REALLY what I am looking at?!?!?!?!, comparitive to printed pornagraphy, INTERNET PORN IS NO DIFFERENT! You look at it, SEARCH FOR IT, dig it up because:

1) you can,
2) it’s there,
3) most of it is FREE (monetarily),
4) the element of ‘can I get away with it’ applies,
5) and for (most of us); IT TURNS US ON!

PLEASE KEEP IT REAL WHEN YOU ARE DISCUSSING ANYTHING THAT MAY HAVE RELEVENCE TO RELATIONSHIPS, BECAUSE THERE ARE THE OCCASSIONAL (actually, majority of) READERS THAT ‘TAKE THIS INFORMATION AND PART IT OUT TO OTHERS LIKE GOSPEL’.

The previous ‘lines’ and b.s. are just the things that kept my husband ‘bound’ to the ‘fantasy’ world, had I not broke into it and suggested he actually TRY the ‘Wendy Doll’ instead of keeping her on the shelf; We now have a much more, satisfying sexual relationship, and are still learning to communicate on other levels and ‘be good to one another’.

After all, in this life, (as my old man said) “We just have to find someone that can put up with us, and us with them, and that’s about all you can ask for out of this life”. Of course I am in love with my husband, and he is in love with me, but we are both in love for a myriad of reasons, some as different as night and day from the other’s reasons; understand that ‘IF YOU DON’T OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND LET THAT/THOSE THOUGHTS OUT OF YOUR HEAD, THAT PERTAIN TO ANYTHING RELATIONSHIP WISE, YOU’RE ONLY HURTING YOURSELF’.

There is insurmountable truth to “the only STUPID question is the one NOT ASKED!”

****the previous message has been posted as a good will gesture and applies to all sexes****

WIFEY wrote:

Bottom line : MEN ARE VISUALLY STIMULATED, JUST AS MUCH AS MANUALLY: I DON’T BUY THE ‘it’s only fodder for fantasy’ LINE; NEITHER SHOULD ANYONE ELSE.

Simply put, it’s bullsh*t to say there is ‘nothing to why anyone looks at porn’. There IS something, and that is being modest. ADMISSION IS THE FIRST STEP TO *FREEDOM*.

Don’t be in denial, as living in denial keeps one from enjoying the simple pleasures in life.

Are you still confused?

If YES—>Go To #2

if NO—->Go To #3

#2 being, START ALL OVER AGAIN, from the beginning. THat means, sit down, part you legs, get a firm hold of each ball and PULL really hard so that you KNOW what and where those balls are and WHAT they feel like.

#3 being, SMILE! You just MANNED UP, and graduated the ….

YOU, my dear sir, would never last 5 seconds in MY presence. I’m what YOU and others would call a “MAN EATER”. And, I likes ‘em a bit on the ‘rare’ side. *wink*

I think all of this is a bunch of bull! It doesn’t matter what you look like, busty, thin, curvy, big rear end… guys are gonna either look at porn or cheat! Some will do both… you can have it all looks, smarts, wealth, etc., but men ALWAYS want MORE or what they can’t/shouldn’t have!
deep down under the fake mask they have up all the time for their partners… men are like dogs end of discussion!! It will be that way until the end of time and no woman can change it! Sucks huh?!!!

I came to this site trying to figure out how my husband and I can disagree so strongly about looking and/or hiding that he looks at porn.

I have always know he has looked at it, but he really downplayed the whole thing, now I am finding out it’s easily once or twice a week. I can tell from reading other comments that that doesn’t sound like much, but I feel so upset everytime I find out he looks so it seems like a lot to me.

I hate that he looks at porn because 1)he hides it from me so I wonder what else he is hiding besides just looking a clips on the internet 2)I feel like I can’t compare to the women he fantasizes about (I am a mother of a one year old and work full time for our company) 3)It proves I can’t make him happy myself even though I try so hard

Yes, right all men look at porn. Then they are all fxxxxg pigs. If a guy is in a relationship, what the fxxK? I don’t care what kind of excuses any of you come up with. It’s wrong unless you look at porn with your mate. It’s called honesty axxxxxle!

im mother of 1 years old son. i found out he is masterbating without my notice again even though he swore not to watch it again. he says porn is bad when we argue about it, but it seems like he is never able to quit it.

i read all the comment here. brains are different from us. men need fantasy. but it really gross me out.

how can i get over it and feel better?

Porn is fine – if the person “perusing” is open about it to his partner. If your husband lies about it (as mine does) but then denies it… then it is deceitful and breaks the very trust that relationships are supposed to be built on. There is nothing worse than a man that acts “innocent” but is looking at other people’s vaginas. In my mind – he is the pussy – pardon the expression. If you are going to be the typical “man” that men supposedly are – then just fess up to your activities and be the man that EVERYONE says you are. Period.

Most of the women commenting here are fucking retarded. Even after a female studying psychology comes in to tell them they are wrong they still argue. I’d divorce any one of your ignorant asses in 2 seconds.

Clearly, with this much disagreement, we can’t all be looking at the same situation. Viewing porn is not good or bad in the absence of context.

I would dare say that viewing porn as a substitute for participating in a fulfilling relationship would never work; both sides would be disappointed. One side would be busy trying to coerce the other against their will into doing something that they believe constitutes a fantasy, but in reality replaces a real live person with emotions and desires into an actor, participating in a show of sorts for the other. Whether or not the “actor” enjoys this or not depends entirely on what they were seeking from the relationship in the first place.

On the other hand, viewing porn in the context of creating new situations and fantasies for use in your own bedroom might not be such a bad thing, I would say.

To each his/her own.

hmmm…..where do I start…I lived 10 years of my life being an exotic danncer/stripper! My job was to make men horny and when this happend they lost all control and I have bought a beauitlful home,cars and just stuff off their pocket book. I modeled, I was nominated most talented and beautiful…and not in the trashy clubs….the high end clubs…I am very exotic and I knew how to work men. And honesty I can say I laugh at them. The reason why is men just think they have a right to look and fullfil their fantasies at all times just because they are men. They have no respect for how it makes the woman who loves them and takes care of them and their children. I am married now and this is how I showed my husband that his logic is a one way street. I popped open my PC and typed in Large Cock! My husband almost shit himself. Hmmmm what is the big deal I am just looking… pretending and getting off on a large fat cock ( that looks nothing like his willy) The look in his eyes and the comments to this day prove it is a one way street. And your right you can be the most beautiful women out there at the time and it wont matter. They always want what they can’t have and they have nothing better to do. In my spare time I anm getting my MBA,and I am a broker now….when we have sex I give him any fantasy he can think of…what ever he wants…and some things he never even new about…so why does he need to look at others??? Because men are shallow and they put themselves first always they think they have earned this. You women who do not want your man looking at porn do it back look at men who are his opposite that have bigger cocks let him know how much it turns you on then deny having sex with him….or insist you can look at your porn first so you can get ready…and watch his whole world crummble and then watch the names that come out his mouth to describe you. I have worked in an industry of men for years and they are not dogs…they just can’t stop thinking that they are priority and they have the right to do whatever it is they choose to do because they were born with a penis. It is actually funny. Men can not control themselves once the other head is thinking..if I could only tell you the stupid things I convinced men to do when they thought I wanted them sexually LOL. Then when they realized they had been played they run home to their faithful wives to feel better…Women stop feeling upset about your man and his porn do something about it teach him how it feels. That is the only way they figure it out. Women are beautiful intelligent and we are better then men we care about how someone we love feels and we are humble enough to stop whatever it is that hurts our partners. And we won’t miss it because our lovers always come first. And there is no porn out there that can make me explode like my lover can when we are so committed to each other and our sex becomes our own porn our fantasy together that is what sex and erruptions are about. But sadly men are so insecure about them selves as a man they turn the computer on and jack off to someone that does not have an opinon not a fantasy …..an opinon. Women I stopped stripping becasue I got so sick of knowing I was hurting other women…at first i figured if she was dumb enough to stay with him ….but in actuality all men are like this and it is not the womans fault. One day we will be released from our slavery to mans idiocy and ignorance!

It is the said cause of more then 50% of couples that fail with in the first year.
Many women see it as a sign that their spouse isn’t attracted to them,
they aren’t sexually satisfying their partner. They generally, and i think
naturally as women take it as, “you’re not good enough”. Rather it be emotionally, physically or sexually they feel inadequate as a partner.
Or they assume that their spouse is indefinitely a cheater. They ask…
– “If you are attracted to me and i turn you on then why do you have to look at porn?”
– “Am I not satisfying you in the bedroom?”
– “Do you think about them while your with me?”
– “Do you think that they are more attractive than me?”
– “Do you compare me to them?”
– “Are you disappointed that I don’t look like them?”
– “Do you watch them and then find yourself wishing that I would act like them during sex?”

For most men it’s not a matter of not being satisfied, disappointment, or comparison. Men are aroused mainly by visual stimulation. Meaning (heterosexual) men are naturally aroused by the naked female body, and lets be honest most heterosexual women are too. If men are seen as extremely sexual beings then why criticize them for being titillated by multiple kinds of
visual stimuli? If a man is happy with his spouse he is usually genuinely attracted to her. And when asked to define sexy generally the answer contained alot of their significant others characteristics not the girls online.

There are three main reasons that men and, yes even women, turn to pornography for satisfaction. One is to see their fantasies acted out, two is to avoid intimacy in a relationship, the third is simply to aid masturbation. Sometimes people look to fill a void in their sex life. For example they might be highly aroused by oral sex and their partner is strongly apposed to it. Wanting to stay in the relationship and still fill that sexual void they turn to porn. There are people that use porn as a way to satisfy sexual fantasies that they would rather not be revealed for reasons of embarrassment and fear of rejection from their partner. If they were to unveil their sexual interests it would be letting
that closely held secret go. Which would prohibit an unwanted amount of intimacy later ending in resentment, so they simply save that indulgence for private Internet sessions. Aside from the role that porn has in relationships people look at porn simply to arouse themselves either before or while masturbating or have intercourse. Remember masturbation is normal natural and healthy for a men and women, (remember many women masturbate to pornography too!) single and married.

Men are thought to be more easily aroused by erotic imagery than women are. While some men are unable to decipher fantasy and reality most men do so unintentionally. Many will say that it is healthy and some even say it’s needed that a man consume erotic material. It’s intense visual stimulation that has no limits or boundaries. Endless possibilities in his personal private fantasy world. And it is just that a fantasy a daydream, not an expression of preference in their real physical intimate lives. So you might be a women that daydreams about driving home in a fancy car to a big house with the picket fence to a perfect loving family. When in reality you have an average car and house with four kids that fight every second of everyday. Chances are that not even for 100 million dollars would you walk away from your family. The same as a happily married man isn’t gong to leave his wife for the porn star he just watched blow two different guys.

A mans’ brain is wired differently than a womans’. They are more sexual, point blank. Is it really so
degrading that a man is aroused by many types of women being that not one individual man was not
created with the ability to be attracted to only one women or even one specific type. They are more
sexual, point blank. If you have a Mona Lisa at home does that mean that you never again want to go to an art gallery?

Porn can be part of a healthy relationship, but in some circumstances it can hinder intimacy. It seems to me the underlining concern with porn in relationships revolves around the lack of communication, and trust within the relationship, not the porn itself. When it is viewed in secrecy in a relationship it wreaks havoc an all aspects of the relationship. Just the same the betrayal of any sexual act done with out the knowledge of one partner. It is also unhealthy for one partner to use pornographic content as a substitute for sex, however there are underlining circumstances that are an expect. For instance if one partner has a condition that is disabling preventing or making sex painful or discomforting. One partner using porn as their main source of arousement can also be damaging in a relationship.

So many aspects of this topic are just far too personal for most to have an open discussion about, even in their very own personal relations. I think the label “porn addiction” is used to put down a behavior that is taboo in society. Has the world become such realists that we find it astonishing that one finds enjoyment in fantasy? Have we, as a nation become so insecure that we shame our own human nudity and claim that they very sexual acts we were created to do are disgusting and degrading to women? Yes, every erotic women is undoubtedly someones daughter, but more importantly she is an individual who for what ever reasons made her own choices. And who is one to judge another?

It is a subject that is portrayed as black and white by society yet vibrant with color. In revealing ones true thoughts on the issue is in essence revealing the many personal, intimate, sexual desires that are openly deemed as immoral and perverse by society.

I am sorry when you sit there and fantasize about other women you are cheating. If you love your wife, gf, partner you would out of respect not look at the porn or any naked women on the interent. Plus sometimes this can lead to acting it out in real life. I have been through pure hell with my husband and his porn addiction. Now he is looking at all kinds of women and girls. I take care of him and run after him and wash his clothes, make his meals, put up with his shit and take care of my self so he won’t have to look at other women, but like most men he is a pig. I think that porn should be banned from the internet and that the internet should be censored as all boardcasting such as television is. Women who pose for these pictures are whores and the magazine companies and internet web sites should be shut down for exploitation of women.

I have been with my wife for over 3 years. the first 6 month or so of our sexual relationship I did not look at porn at all. Then the sex started dieing off.
It went from everyday or every other day to once every 2 weeks. Then i went back to looking at porn. She doesn’t want sex as often as I do so I could either:

A: ask her for sex all the time which would just make her mad and I would get it less than I already do

B: Look at some porn and take care of it myself.

On the other hand when I know we are going to have sex (it takes me a long time to achieve orgasm and sometimes this leaves her very sore) I view some porn as a primer. It gets everything going for when the happiness begins.

I have a very high sex drive if I do not have a release then I get blue balls in 3 to 4 days.

There is no one reason why people do something. Your husband looks at porn for one reason, and her husband looks at porn for another.

Why do men like sports. I personally can’t stand them but it appears to be something many people want to do.

For you women that say women never do such things, you need to readdress your view on the world. Just go to your local restaurant and sit by a group of women on their girls night out and listen to the running commentary on the waiter or that guy over their or this guy at work. They are far more graphic and disgusting than any man I know.

I know many men look at porn, but isn’t there a difference between porn sites and escort sites? My boyfriend said he has been looking at the site for years and not to worry. We’ve been together almost a year and when I found out we weren’t having sex only 2 times a month for the last three months and before that it was everyday. We live together and I am 90% sure he isn’t cheating but if you asked me a few months ago if he was looking up escorts online I would of said no way. I since have tried to figure out why he looks up escorts and have looked up male escorts and female escorts online. It isn’t exciting or sexually stimulating for me at all. I can’t see myself masturbating to any of these images the only thought that came to my mind was loneliness.
I asked my boyfriend why he looks at porn and he told me it’s easier to jerk off and takes less time than to have sex. I don’t have sex on my period but that is only one or two days. He tells me he jerks off during those times also.

It is difficult to understand how the brain works…but definately, typically men and women approach things from different perspectives. I have decided I cannot rationalize something my boyfriend does from my point of view and to feel hurt over something like porn. It is hurtful for some of us and yes it bothers me…but at the end of the day I still have to be happy.

if you are with someone, SHE should be your fantasy. not some trashy sluts you dont even know. that hurts. and youre selfish.

To the men….

I’m trying to be understanding to my man and I wonder…

If you are in a committed relationship, what is the norm for how often you look at porn?

I have a question….If I want sex all of the time and I have verbally announced this to my boyfriend of a year and a half…why is he looking at porn when I live with him and am always ready for sex? It is the number one problem in our relationship (that i dont think we have sex enough) so why if i complain about not having enough sex is he turning to porn….anyones thoughts will be appreciated

I didnt read all people post here…. Im married 1 1/2 yr i love sex, i think that maybe more than my husband, i like porn as my husband… and when we are together watching it, i see at anything he would like to see… but sometimes he does that alone, and i feel bad about it…. is that normal?! I’ve been thinking about going to a phycologist bcs i feel insecure/worry all the time about what if he cheat on me… what if he prefers another woman, etc… when we got married i gain some weight, like 25 pounds and i felt so unsexy and so ugly that i got into a diet and now im @ 122 pounds, and i’m like when we first meet, i feel good, pretty and sexy, but i still feeling unsecure about what he could do… and then i feel soo stupid bcs he never had gave me any reason to feel this way. I when he watch porn alone, i hate when he talk to a pretty girl, and we went to a halloween party and i saw him staring at other girl… he was fucking staring, not looking like u can look a girl who is pretty that passed by, as its normal…. and we talked about it, but im not feeling completely good…. anyway, i just needed to say it/write it… i think i should just go to a dr or something…

i’d also like to know why this hurts so much….it upsets me so much that i could cry all night about it..how lame is that..

TO MY HUSBAND: You are a f@@*ing asshole. How do you give yourself permission to cheat on a relationship that is based on trust? How can I trust you, when you do things that are deceiving? If you believe that pornography is acceptable, then why would you find it necessary to hide it? To me, marriage means complete commitment and requires complete honesty. Being a man, means “manning” up. It doesn’t mean that you get to blame it on someone else because they gave you the website. It doesn’t mean that you turn the volume down on the computer, so that you can hear your wife coming down the stairs, and shut it off so that you get to avoid an argument. Being a man, means owning your own, even if it produces results that you many not want. People need to face the consequences of their behaviors and the decisions that they make, although the results may include negative impacts on their marriage. You can’t just take out of marriage what benefits you. It doesn’t mean that you just get to take the perks. Marriage includes sacrifices, a two way commitment.
If porn is a normal activity, then why would you hide it? If you really believe that it is okay, why would you have to hide it from me, and why would you have to look at it at night when no one can catch you doing it? If pornography is normal, why would you throw out the pictures of all the Asian and black girls that I printed up from the website you were on, with their breasts and assholes exposed; their phone numbers prompting phone calls and a late night in house massage?
How could you honestly feel if you caught your wife looking at naked men? How would you feel if you found out that your wife was fucking other men? Porn to women, is similar to men fucking other ladies. It makes us feel like we are not good enough for you. Why would you want to make us feel like we are not good enough? If you love for someone, that should be enough. How do you justify being dishonest and disloyal to someone who has provided you with love, loyalty, honesty, cooking, cleaning, total family support, and availability? How can you substantiate looking at other women, when you, yourself, would be insulted if your partner did the same?

How can you look at pictures, and fantasize about women who are younger than your own daughters? All day long, that is all you did, looking at pictures of girls who are younger than your own daughter. It is so disgusting. Can you imagine a picture of your own 23 Year old daughters on Craigslist, erotic? Looking at the pictures on Craigslist, is like looking at your own daughters. These are pictures of girls who are 30 years younger than you. It is revolting.
So now I am faced with a decision. Do I want to continue a marriage based on dishonesty? Do I want to live a life where I have to check the websites you go on? Distrust is a lot of work, and marriage should not require that much work. Do I want to continually check the phone calls you make? Do I want to worry about your next step? Does the next step include extra-marital affairs or phone sex, or call girls? How long has this been going on? I cant live my life checking your work computer, to see if you are being dishonest about your porn addiction. I don’t want to think that you are cheating on our marriage, or thinking that you are fantasizing about some Asian chick when you are fucking me? Why would someone want to have a sexual relationship with a picture, when their loving and good looking wife is a ready, willing and available partner? Why would a husband sacrifice complete love and commitment for a picture of someone who he does not even know? Why would a man choose internet fantasy, when they could have actual and real love anytime they wanted it? I wilI never again, wear stockings to indulge your fantasy, when you want sex, so that you can get aroused (but are actually visualizing an image of someone else). I want you to want me as I am. I want to be enough for you.
I would rather have no one, than a disloyal, selfish, piece of crap.

This one goes out to curvish on how you hit that point dead on! Kudos to you. I feel the same way. I always wonder what he thinking while having sex with me now, and wonder why he is actually looking at pornography every day and only when I am working, and on my computer, not his! He is totally asking me to find it and make an argument. Is this part of his fantasy? I think the worst of my man is that he has now gone beyond just pornography but when a movie has a naked woman in it, he is all in tune to the picture on the screen, and when I do go to work the next day or whenever I go to work next he does a search for the movie + nudity. Why? Is there really a reason for me distrusting you? Why can’t you speak to me about it when I have brought the point up? Is this beyond a fantasy and more an addiction?

This is a degrading act to me, it makes me feel I am not good enough. A fantasy is not always ‘just’ a fantasy, it is soemthing that could come true and be real. Are you going to the strip clubs with your best guy friends on the weekends when you go out? These are the things I think of. Sure I would rather you look at porn of females I don’t know and you don’t know. But this does not make it right. You have successfully made me more insecure of myself than I was before, sure I am petite and I don’t weigh a lot, but when you look at that tall blonde, big breasted woman it kills me more and more everytime I accidentally find it on the computer.

Sure women have fantasies also, and sure some women masturbate as well. I am not sure if I speak only for myself but I think of a fantasy that involves my partner and what I would love him to do to me but am too scared to actually have something like that performed out. So why is this impossible for a man to do? You cannot fantasize about your woman?

Currently I am enrolled in a college human sexuality course, and I can say I have learned a myriad of interesting facts but the one that struck me the hardest and I wish I knew the complete study was that supposidly when a man masturbates he is thinking of his partner, but when he is having sex – he thinks aobut that porn star or something else. Men what is your take on this? Is this true? Do you guys really think of that kind of stuff?

‘Trying to breath’ you are correct we can get through this, and we are all beautiful! I am glad that I am noticing that most women are feeling about the same way. I am glad I am not alone in this feeling.

To the writer of this article, I understand your point. But I do not completely agree to it.

I know that its normal for men to look at porn but i just don’t understand why they have to look at it every single day. and why they have to master bait every single day. Is it normal to want to cum every single day? my husband can’t sleep with out cumming. and thats everyday. And i don’t get the fact that why do they have to master bait and watch porn when they can just have sex with their partner? So i guess he’s addicted to pornography?? thats bad right?? so does he need help or what??? Cause he’s spending so much time on the computer watching stupid porn when he can spend time with me and his daughter. Do men even think of things like that? Its so annoying. The fact that he works all freaking day and comes home just to freaking watch porn and master bait. wtf. I freaking hate it when he does that. What should i do?

Why would a man spend a lot of time looking at women online but not provide to his girlfriend?

My problem is that my boyfriend has no sex drive, and I think its because he looks at porn and masturbates regularly. I found a file in his computer that has one file named “Don’t Look” and then a file in that nmaed “That means You” and then one in that titled “ML” (Thats me…ML)Is this harmless? Is he entitled to his privacy? But anyway, it has really gotten to a head where i feel like my own sexual needs are seriously neglected and now i am thinking about breaking up with mainly a wonderful man. Hmmmmmm.

Oh, a couple more things! I have no problem getting a man. I never have, just from now on I will choose them more carefully. There aren’t many good ones, but this time I will be cautious. I loved you, I made mistakes, BUT SO HAVE YOU. It’s called forgiving eachother and working hard at it, and realizing things take time. And while the time is on our side, you don’t go and do it again you moron. TRUST, LOVE, RESPECT, IT GOES BOTH WAYS. God, why? I was finding it in me, albeit difficult, to make 2009 a great year. I have issues too with what happened and things I have done, but I loved you. I must move on though, I will somehow find the strength. I at least believe out of 25 years, most were good.

My partner looks at porn as soon as I leave him. I leave and he calls me and tells me he loves me and then thinks about downloading porn within ah hour of me elaving? That to me is not love. Sorry. All you men who think it’s totally innocent too and something you just have to have, well I am telling you – I hope all your wives and gf’s leave you. They desrve much much better than what you are willing to give. If you want to imagine fucking thousands of other women and not honour your partner mentally and emotionally, you are a smuck.

I am probably going to leave my partner over this. I cannot reconcile his ‘Oh I love you so much’ with him looking at porn as soon as my back is turned. I think there are better men out there who must still feel good about having sex with real women, with real intimacy. I am not preapred to compete with sluts.

If your man refuses to stop looking at porn when you ask him to, and he continues to hide it and lie to you over it, then you know how much he cares for your feelings. He puts porn above you, simple as that. Women need to state their feelings over this and not let men get away with telling you they need porn, like it’s air, like it’s breathing. This is rubbish. They want you and they want their porn. I have told my partner he must choose. I told him I will leave him to his laptop because life for me right now is horrible.

Men need to learn how to respect and love the woman they are with and to give up porn if they still care about their relationships.

The internet has made porn accessibility too easy, and for guys it’s like a huge cake shop, obviously porn is big buisness and they know how to draw guys in, it taps into the oldest drive in men, but it doesn’t make it healthy. Men need to see how they are being manipulated and controlled by porn and if they do want to stop ladies, then support them all the way. If they continue to hurt you, leave them.

Pesonally I can no longer be in a loving intimate relationship anymore with a man who watches porn.

It’s called human contact! I have toys too, and want/need sex. Take care of your business at home. That means your wife/girlfriend/who ever. If your constantly fullfiling your own fantasy, how are you going to satify the one you call your wife/girlfriend. you can’t there’s nothing left.

my problem is a bit more complex than some…i’ve found porn that my husband had…pics online he was looking at of naked models…stuff like that…and yes there was an argument…not about him looking at it because i like porn too…it’s that he does it behind my back…and he hardly ever wants to have sex with me…and those arguments never lasted long….but recently he was away on army duty…and i found out that he had signed up on a phone fling chat…and had an account with adult friend finder….with porn it wasn’t really bad because it’s just porn…but this site is to meet people locally….when i asked him he said he was curious…that every man wonders what local women look like naked…this is really hard for me to believe…i dont know what to do..it’s tearing us apart..not to mention he has lied to me many times over the past few years….how can i ever know he’s telling the truth?

I wonder why my man spends several hours looking at porn online, but we only have sex 1 to 2 times a year and it isn’t me that’s not willing to give. I am getting really frustrated. I have been with him for 8 years, we are not married, and I just turned 30. I am really beginning to think that I am wasting my time with him. He doesn’t even compliment me. He has every excuse in the book. His excuse for not putting out was because I asked for it and that turns him off so I quit asking, then he said it was because he was never in the mood when I was. Now he says it is my disposition and the weight I have gained since we got together. I have gained weight, but I do not think I am fat. I am 5’8, weigh 135 lbs and wear anywhere from a size 4 to a size 5 in jeans. Is this fat in a mans’s world? I just don’t know what to do. Oh and also , I feel like he is selfish. When we do have sex, he wants a blowjob and then it’s like wam bam thank ya mam. He ever gives me fourplay and says he doesn’t because he isn’t into that. What the hell???!!! Can anybody explain this for me?

i’ve been through the whole “he’s watching porn and hiding it from me” senario and got through the other side. don’t get me wrong, the porn isn’t the problem, the fact he was wasting money on it was. especially on the months where he couldn’t pay his bills because he was broke till his next paycheque, so i had to give him a handouts!
But once i made it very clear how i felt about him paying for it he stopped (fair enough i’ve blocked the sites to make sure, but he was the one that suggested this – just to make it clear i’m the computer “geek” in our relationship).
like i said before i don’t have a problem with him watching porn, in fact i learnt more about what turns him on and what his fantasies are – some which will remain as such, and if porn is the only way for him to “experience” these then so be it.
i learnt so much from this in fact that we now both view free porn after finding some great sites recommended by friends, alone and together – and if he texts me at work while he’s viewing at home, it’s a bit of a turn on for me!

i still don’t get why he hid it from me as he knows i’m really openminded and we have watched porn dvd’s before and have been attending a yearly “adult” expo in london for years – but that’s for me to deal with in my head.

i will say that the only thing i find truely unacceptable in relation to internet porn when in a relationship is viewing sex webcams. it is ONLY ok if you are single, no matter what sex you are so…
BUSTED2002 good for you filing for divorce, the nasty cheat!

just to finish – men like the immediacy of images and videos, whereas women prefer fantasy of a good story line. no women can say that they don’t have a film star they’d like to have a go at, so if we can fantasise we have no right to stop our men doing the same in their own way.

I’ve been married 8 years and I know my husbands been looking at porn since the day we met. Yes, I did blame myself and thought I wasn’t good enough, boobs were too small, ass is too big….crap like that. But when you really think about it EVERY man looks at porn. Men married to supermodels look at it, men married to a woman that’s had kids and gained some weight look at it. So you see ladies, it’s not about you or your appearance. If it was you then that would mean EVERY woman that is not a porn star is “unattractive”. And we all know that’s not possible. So just remember EVERY SINGLE MAN looks at porn……..so there’s no way you can blame it on your appearance.
I have to admit there are times I look at porn then go masturbate. There are times I just don’t feel like going through all the motions to get off. So I just figured my husband is doing the same thing….just wants to get off quickly with out all the foreplay and other things.
It’s just a fact of life ALL MEN like to look at whores they can’t touch. Just like I look at hot men I’d never be able to touch. Doesn’t mean I REALLY want to or mean I love my husband less.

Little worried, I know how you feel I wish i could answer that question for you and tell you something that you want to here but the bottom line is I am susre you are a beautiful women and it is not you, I have come to know that all men are wired up different then women and as a women we need not take it personal..

Linda, seriously, if you want someone to take you seriously, try spell checking before spreading your ignorance.

Ok, first of all, I am tired of reading all of the males who leave bullshit comments. I don’t know how many times I have heard a man give the whole “Males need variety, they need to look at other women.” That is such bullshit! You dont NEED to look at another naked woman, you do it because you are a pig who is just looking for some other excuse to get off. I am so disgusted at the way most men think. I mean, If you are in a happy relationship and are getting all you could ever want in bed, why would you still NEED to look at other womens bodies? I strongly feel that when my boyfriend thinks about someone else or looks at porn it is disrespectful to me, and it makes me feel worse about myself and my body. Like “am I not as pretty as her? My boobs arent big enough? I dont do that trick?” I think most women would agree to some point that you get a feeling inside the “i’m not good enough” feeling when you catch your man up to no good. It lowers our self confidence, so dont give any more “I need it” bs. That’s a load of crap.

Porn sneaking destroyed my marriage of 35 years. It survived the loss of a child and early infidelity but, though I am still married and living with my husband my marriage is destroyed. I can never again have carefree, happy sex. I can never again believe what he says he feels. I can never again feel proud of his morals or character. This is too high a price to pay for cheap thrills and fantacy.

I have read the letters from the distraught ladies who love thier pornography loving men and it makes me feel sad for them. Ladies you are not only the fairer but the stronger sex, this has been known for quite some time. That’s why you beat your heads against a brick wall on this whole ‘Why is my husband jacking off to porn in the wee small hours?’ conumdrum .

I will let you in on a bit of unsaid thing about men and pornography. There is one word for the reason men look at pornography: Domination. Men are hard wired to try and dominate. Most of us are thick as pigshit but that hasn’t stopped us going out hunting, eating, fucking and fighting for as long as we could pick up a stick.

In our polically correct, hyper legislated, comfortable, sedentary modern lives the biggest challenge a man has is to hold onto his job, if he does that he’s seen as doing his duty to the family. Only truly great men rise to the top, which leaves a whole lot of the ordinary men with a hell of a lot of spare time wondering what to do with themsleves.
The concept of pushing a button to enter a world of nubile, sex crazed vixens with their come hither eyes kneeling in adulation before the cock (the one thing that even the biggest loser can claim to have in common with the greatest man) is a twang on a primitive cord many males cannot deny.

This is not a new phenomenom in the legend of the siren song fantasically beautiful women sat on an island and sang out to passing sailors who were enchanted by them and could not deny thier instincts to go and get a closer look and to perhaps go and ‘Dominate’ them only to smash thier ships to pieces upon the rocks. Poronography is todays siren song and some men can resist it’s call better than others. The men who smash thier lives on its rocks tend to suffer from low self esteem. They imagine the girls are exclusively there for them in a kingdom of sex where they are the absolute ruler and the word ‘no’ does not exist.
The fact that in reality this is existence is impossible both physically and practically, i.e. Who’s going to do the monotonous grind stuff like pay the bills, pick up the kids, empty out the washing machine is not important. It’s simply that for those few stolen minutes leading up to that magical second the woman/women is there specifically for his pleasure, that feels like control or domination and that feels good to a man, especially if they are not large parts of his every day life.
Conversly it’s been documented that very successful, powerful men like to be sexually dominated because its a reversal of roles from their daily existence.

In conclusion it makes no sense, it can’t be fixed just find a good man who dosent pull himself off 24/7 to the detriment of his personal and profesional life and who won’t physically hurt you, the fairest creature of them all.

Greg,

Wow. That is absolutely THE BEST explanation on the porn question I have ever read.

I appreciated the insight but think that if more men read it and understood their own motivation fewer relationships would be sacrificed on the porn altar.

Good job.

Sorry but no women is ever wrong about the way she feels. if your wife/girlfriend is hurt by you watching porn why would you continue to watch porn and hurt her? Selfishness! Men are different then women yes, but that doesn’t mean men should be give the right to watch porn when it hurts someone they love. I really dont care if single men watch porn. I dont care if men in a realtionship watch porn as long as their partner is okay with it! What is so hard to understand about that? if your partner is hurt and you really care about them then you would stop. No one should tell a women who is hurt by her boyfriend/husband’s porn watching to get over it cause all men do it. That is just stupid. I think men should have respect of their partners feelings and stop being so damn selfish!!!

I find this post interesting. However, you are not every man and I dislike how you’re preteding that you are. For your information there are men out there who do not look at porn & I would fully trust them with my children, they are moral beings. To be truthful, I wouldn’t trust anyone who did look at porn. If you bother to do some research you’ll see that porn leads to pedophilia smarty pants.

Variety is fine, looking is fine, my husband claims he doesn’t look, he’s probably trying to avoid an argument or maybe he feels like he doesn’t want to look else where. As far as your comment on “If you think your father doesn’t look at porn…” I didn’t appreciate that one very much, my grandfather never looked at porn, he was too in love with my grandma to do that. So please, do not speak on the world’s behalf, thanks.

To me it does seem like a bit of a double standard for men vs women. I am a fairly attractive woman and I love attention just like the next woman. So if my man is giving private time attention to these internet women, is it then OK for me to submit myself in such a way that other men can fantasize about me? I would prefer that my man show me how excited that I make him. But if it’s other women that sometimes feed his sexual appetite, then is it ok for me to enjoy the same attention from the opposite sex? I would not find it erotic in any way to just see a penis. However to see that a man is attracted to me is always a turn on.

If the porn aids rather than impedes your sex life, then it’s not a problem.

If the porn is used to satisfy his own sexual needs and is used in place of sex with you, it’s a big problem. This includes him only being interested in his personal satisfaction when he gets around to having sex with you.

And it isn’t going to change, because the basic problem is his selfishness, self-involvement, inability to maintain an intimate relationship and lack of concern for his partner. If you don’t mind being in that kind of a relationship, then by all means stick with it. If you want to be in a loving relationship where your man is concerned with your needs and your well-being, run like hell before you waste anymore time on the loser. You only have one life to live, why waste it on someone who has no concern or caring for your feelings? Fortunately there are a lot of men in this world who would love to be in a loving, trusting, mutually- satisfying relationship. Go find one. Maybe I will too.

Ok first time here looking for answers. I get that men look at porn, doesn’t even bother me when my boyfriend does. Again it is the secrecy behind it that tends to sting a bit but ok, I can handle that too. What is hard and a hit to the self esteem is when he will leave our bed knowing full well I would be willing at any time and go look at porn. WHen we are together, he doesn’t do oral on me, but loves it on him, he rarely touches me “down there” and is so quick to get it on. FOreplay is an alien thing to him. Yes I have tried to teach him, yes we watch porn sometimes together and talk about what we are seeing and what I would like. Yes we have watched programs dealing with how to be sexually satisfied. We are able to openly talk, but why is it he doesn’t want to do the things to me that he so enjoys watching other couples on porn do? It is a huge hit to the self esteem and I know he loves me but what does one do?

I am a beautiful woman who has suffered from low self image due to always feeling inadequate. When I am in the beginning of a relationship where the man is completely in to me I feel great about my body and my sexuality, soon as I discover he looks at porn It all changes. I become insecure as f#$%! It destroys the relationship! Guys just down understand how hurtfull it is to most woman. Its , however, a losing battle! I have decided to give them a taste of how it feels. Hows it gonna feel when I need to get turned on and maturbate to young, buff, exotic men with large c$%# Women need to start having their cake and eating it too!! Start with Playgirl….nice hotties there ladies and make sure your man gets a good dose!

ok I only reviewed a few posts but I have to say, none of them made me feel better. guys look at porn to keep from cheating is what I pretty much got out of this. That is sh*t. To whomever said women start masurbating and create your own fantasies obviously don’t know women very much. When your in a relationship and you masturbate, as a woman, I know that when I do I think of the man I am with, not some guy I seen in a magazine or on the internet or at the coffee shop. Why can’t a man have a fantasy about the woman that he is with instead of the overrated bleach blonde bimbos that are in the magazines? why stay up till 4 am jerking it to the pics on the internet when u can just as easily go into the bedroom and wake up your wife and make her night too? I don’t understand it. I think it is disgusting and it really really makes me mad. guys look at porn because they get something out of it that they are missing in there bedroom. I mean come on, if we started masturbating to pics of some guy with a 10 inch package instead of having sex with you guys, you would start to think, Hmmm…maybe my package is too small for her? well when u guys whack it to pics of other girls who are skinnier, prettier and can bend into unimaginable positions compared to us then what do you think we get out of it???

iam tall thin skinney nice boobs my partner and i have great sex he told me he someyimes looks at porn for the turn on Idon’t get it I love sex and will do anything he wants he always looks around for another pretty face Why do men do that?

I have the worst case of trusting a man, and what you wrote Greg it answered my question for the most part. However I don’t think I can ever understand why.

Myself esteem is for shit, I never think I am beautiful and I am so jealous. The guy I am with is on the computer almost all day long and I know when I am at work and he’s fucking off all day two days a week he’s looking at sites that has porn everywhere you go. It drives me crazy makes me think of wanting to cheat on him to get him back. Ontop of that he’s always on his wifi on his phone and on it for hours.

I know his self esteem is lacking because he makes jack shit for money, but shouldn’t he get off his lazy ass and do something about it? His job is to work on computers all day so maybe being with an IT guy isn’t good for me since porn is part of their job. I don’t know, I think us woman should and deserve respect from the man she wastes her time with.

Hi I am a 24 year old female in a 2 year relationship with a 22 year old male. When I was younger and in my first relationship I was against porn. Now that I’m a bit older I’m not as against porn. I think the girls in the porn industry are allowed to make their own career choices and hey if they are making money good for them as long as it’s safe.

There was never an issue about porn in our relationship till recently. He only had the family computer out in the open and not the best place for viewing porn. About a month ago he bought a laptop for us to use. I had a bad feeling he would look at porn. I found the website RedTube in the history clicked on it and saw Home of Free Porn. It made me feel like shit. I confronted him about it and he denied it. Then started telling me it’s because he can’t please me. But the fact is no guy has been able to give me an orgasm and I’m not mad at him for it. I told him I was not comfortable with it and it hurt my self esteem and made me feel like I needed to change myself to satisfy him. I’ll admit I’m a cute girl. My boobs aren’t that big but I think my body is well proprtioned since I am petite. I thought that would be the end of the porn since I asked him not to. Over the last few weeks I tried to have sex with him more and wear cute underwear and just make things more exciting.

Then last Friday I was getting ready to come to his house and have a nice night of getting Chilis-To-Go, rent a movie, cuddle, and then most likely have sex. When I came over he was laying in his bed in his boxers half asleep. We needed the computer to get the number to Chilis and he went outside and I was typing a website that started with an R and RedTube came up again. So I looked at the history for that day and he looked at 2 videos before I came over and more than likely have sex with him. I was pissed and stormed out to my car and then we talked for a minute and he acted like he didn’t get why I was mad. I said well lets go in and look at the computer. I showed him and he acted like he never looked at it. Then admitted it and said it was to last longer for me and since he can’t give me an orgasm it is easier to look at porn and not worry about pleasing the girls.

My feelings are really hurt. I do not feel good about myself and have started thinking what’s wrong with me. Do I need to tan, dye my hair blonde, and get implants to satisfy him? I shouldn’t have to change myself. I want my boyfriend to find me attractive and only want to have sex with me. Even though I don’t get orgasms from him I still like having sex and I would everyday. I’m a very sexual person. I use a vibrator with him and really love seeing how turned on he gets by me. So why does he need porn. I know I only caught him twice but I can’t have this be a normal thing. Needless to say the computer is now just mine. I would love to make some friends on here and get advice.

well ladies first of all ill let yall in on alil bit of understanding about why men jack off.for one it feels real good and sometimes better than when their partner does it over and over again.we know how we liked to be stroked and how we want it done at that moment which varies all the time for us and we dont want to have to go through telling our partner do it this way now do it that way.so we can get it over alot quicker and move on to our evryday lives like always.Its kinda like when yall women buy all these fucking toys to stick in yourself you do it cause it feels good and you know the spot alot better because its youre body and youve done it before.But when youre doing that do you always fantasize about youre mate…i doubt it.women masturbate just as men do ,and theres alot of fucking women who love porn.And also women arent no fucking better than men.Most of the time the women is the one that actually fulfills her desires by cheating while the man is at home jacking off.Big fucking deal,as long as youre the one hes laying down with each night and breaking his back to support you or whatever the case is ,meaning some women support the man.PLus you women wonder why men are so visuly stimulated by shit like porn ,hell look in public how women dress nowadays and hold theirselves,theres always women in short shorts,fake tits to make us want yall.all that shit is usually for the man to see and it comes back to why our dicks stay hard and we watch porn also.So also i guess if men are dogs women are too just alittle bit more discreet and sneakier about when and how she sticks that big vibrator in her pussy.Well im gonna leave this alone but the bottom line is yea men like porn and we jack the fuck out of our dicks but we are not and i mean not thinking about being with that person in a relationship its just a way to get it alil quicker off.We love our spouse and want our spouse to be happy but just remember its all a fantasy just like yall fantasize and its no foul play if its left at that.SO PLEASE LET YOUR MAN JACK OFF>AND DONT WORRY LADIES ITS ONLY OUR NATURE NOT OUR REALITY.

My man says he isnt into porn that much. First he was saying that he actually never watches porn but i saw short porns in his computer. I dont mind my man watching porn, i watch porn too but that doesnt mean that im not satisfied with my man. I love him and i love having sex with him. But the thing that bothering is that there were only tit fucking porn scenes on his computer. He loves big tits and guess what? I dont have big tits. Im petite and my tits arent big…especially for someone like him. So seeing that porn scenes really made me insecure about myself because of that. And because of the fact that his ex girlfriend who he dated for five years had huge tits, i felt worst. Now i always think that im not good enough for him and he can cheat on me for a girl who has big tits. Im happy with the way i am but i feel like he isnt that happy.

All righty then, I dont know how I stumbled on this sight, but I figured what the hell Ill post, as for all of the people that say, all men look at porn and only very few men dont and all men masturbate while looking at porn is bull, all perverts with crazy sexual fantasies and absolutely no sense of comitment look at porn. if you love your wife/girlfriend, show love to her by not stabbing her in the back, prentending to have sexual fantasies with other women whether you will meet them in the future or not. but whatever, the porn industry is the second most profitable business in america and 87% of the websites are porn sights, its not that hard to figure out just do some research. god. whatever. none of you care anyway…

Please! You love your girlfriend? That’s just an excuse to virtually cheat. Some of you men are dogs and I don’t see how women can allow their “men” to get them brainwashed into thinking it’s okay. It’s not because if you love someone you love ONLY them but than again you aren’t married. Your gf ISN’T okay with it the reason why she gets upset is because those women don’t resemble her and she feels that the ones she is okay with do so you fantasize about her. But you are a sick dog to demean your woman like that it’s demeaning. I bet you fantasize about woman you see in the restaurants how’s that any different once your porn addiction gets to you you will probably act out. Porn contributes to RAPE. Woman are objectified and treated as sex objects if you TRULY love your gf why do you keep doing something she is uncomfortable with? Your a selfish dog plain and simple. Guys like you don’t deserve a real life human breathing beautiful woman. Go ahead and fantasize because one day it will mess up your life. All you men should be put on a deserted island with eachother and maybe you can have a gay orgy and you woman that choose to believe your man’s brainwashing is ok. I feel sorry for you. Girl’s there ARE men out there against porn and btw I forgot to mention go ahead and keep disgracing your woman because one of these days while you are getting off she’ll be finding herself a REAL man.

LOL!!! I have threatened to put a video on the internet of me masturbating to my husband because I am so fucking sick of him looking at porn. He says its because hes horny but its funny i sucked his dick and did his little fantasies and then the very next day hes looking at nasty sluts on the internet. I look at porn too but for me the problem lies on the fact that he doesnt want to look at porn with me he likes to do it behind my back. He obviously lies about the reasoning too because he says he only does it when im not available but if i go to the store he will run and get on the computer and look at porn WTF!!! he didnt ask me to have sex or anything he just waited for me to leave and then his drive kicked in to look at porn. My feelings are if he craves to look and fantasize about fucking other women that much then he will obviously cheat on me. I have asked him if he wouldnt look at porn anymore and he lied and said ok but still does. It is hard for me to accept something that he wants to not include me in.

Like most of the women that have posted, I have a high sex drive. So when I catch my guy in the act of jerking off to porn; I feel distressed, anguished, wish it was me and not some random girl he was getting off to. Then when making love you may feel as I have that you are competing in sexual performance with the women he’s been drooling over.

A few of you had me giggle with the idea of blatantly looking at other guys packages so he’d get an idea. I’d have to do like he does though. He says he only watches porn when he’s bored and I’m busy to get a quick fix. Since he doesn’t want to bother me with it.
I’m glad that he’s sweet enough to come to me when I’ve ran off to cry because it hurts.
He’s told me to look at porn too and get off like that, but I want to have sex with him in all forms. To work together to find ultimate love making. I’m thinking about when he gets home from work dressing in a sex outfit and playing a vibrator on myself. Make up a scene for him and say “you could watch or join in.”
Perhaps the best way to keep a guy is by teasing them, pleasing them and yourself, and plotting scenarios to keep it interesting.

I dont know y i have such a problem with it. I didnt use to, really! I even offered the game up off what ever they do in the porn we will do too!!! but no he didnt want that. now after everything weve been through its other things that make me hate him watching it ( weve been together 7 years ) it hurts because he says he only does it when i dont give him any but the collection grows and grows and grows and hello ive been giving it to you. its assisting in destroying our relationship because all the freaky things i use to do i dont want to do anymore. He has looked at porn so much he has lost touch with how he use to attend to my body before sex, now its just let me get some. are you serious? And like the guys girlfriend above feels, i would like it if you would look at girls that look similar to me because in my mind your exactly what i want. not where every woman is the total opp of me – do you need all five of those / cant you just use one with multi racial girls or sum – like i said i tried in the beginning and he wasnt up for it so yeah now i have issues and insecurities and all that bull shit.

For the men who havent ruined their sex lives, some of us would be more into freaky shit if you guys could make sure you do more than kiss on a nipple – thats not the only place we want to be touched – try a back rub before you want to skeet in the face -

As a man, I find these comments very interesting.

To all the women who feel bad, feel sick, feel cheated on, feel unattractive because their man looks at porn: RELAX–IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU.

A few points that I believe 100%:

Humans, men & women, are ANIMALS first, human beings second. As animals, we have instinctive behavior, behavior that is hard-wired into our brains. Throw a baby underwater and it understands to hold its breath. Wiggle a small, dark, hairy object into someone’s field of vision and 100 times out of 100 they recoil, not necessarily because they’re surprised (they wouldn’t recoil if you tried the same thing with, say, a hard-boiled egg) but because the human brain has evolved to have an immediate aversion to such things because they might be poisonous insects or disease-carrying vermin.

Men are hard-wired to respond to the visual stimulation provided by a woman. Not because they are pigs, or dogs, or perverts, or sickos, but because they are MEN. That is a FACT. That is part of what makes a MAN a MAN. Studies have proven time and again that men’s brains respond differently to visual stimulation than do woman’s brains.

It is natural for men to look at women—all women—and to appreciate the sexuality of women. They do it not because they are not satisfied, not because they are not attracted to their own woman, not because they secretly want to cheat, but because that is what they are hard-wired to do. If a man is in public and a pretty woman walks by he quite literally will NOT look at her ONLY if he (1) somehow doesn’t happen to see her or (2) consciously suppresses the desire to look at her, which only happens if he is with someone who gets upset if she notices him noticing another woman.

MEN’S BRAINS LIKE TO LOOK AT WOMEN. It’s not that men “want” to look at women, or men are pigs so they look at women, but BECAUSE THEY ARE MEN THEY LOOK AT WOMEN.

It’s amazing that so many women on here seem to acknowledge that pretty much every man seems to want to look at porn, yet they can’t make the leap to the fundamental fact that it’s part of what makes a man a man, like his penis. It’s as if all these commenters were saying “It’s so sick! He opens his pants and he has this gross PENIS in there! Why does he have to have that! What a pig!”

And the reason why men “lie” and “hide it” is because their women get so upset by it. The commenters saying that well, men are just selfish and if they cared about our feelings they would stop it, well, no that just isn’t true. You are asking men to suppress part of their fundamental nature, and I guarantee you that many men mean it when they say they won’t do it but it is not easy to suppress something that is part of who you are. It’s like a parent telling their gay son or daughter that if they really love them, they would just be straight—it just isn’t that easy.

Men’s brains are hard-wired to notice women, because evolutionarily speaking we can have the greatest success by impregnating as many women as possible. Of course, that’s not acceptable in polite modern society, and we have “evolved” into a culture in which such behavior wouldn’t work for the majority—male and female—of the parties involved, nor would the majority have any desire for it to work. But the evolutionary “urge to merge”, while sublimated, finds a safer, more practical outlet with masturbation, and its handmaiden, porn. If, for instance, men’s brains primarily craved scents instead of images, “porn” would consist of vials of pheromones that men would inhale while jerking off, and their significant others would be horrified to find their “secret chemistry stash.” But we’re visual, and porn exists because men’s brains crave it. It really is that simple. The key in a relationship is how to negotiate that fact.

All that said, porn does NOT have to tear a couple apart, and porn habits CAN be modified. I know because I have been affected by porn in two relationships, and I have found that only honest communication and healthy attitudes can bring real change, and ultimately, a closer relationship.

First, women MUST accept the reality of men’s brains, and resist the urge to attack men as pigs and sickos. Rather than say that all men are pigs maybe it would be more productive to broaden your understanding of what it means to be a man.

Secondly, a loving man MUST understand that his actions and behavior affect the ones he loves. A man should confront the porn issue with his partner and acknowledge his partners’ feelings, which are just as real and true as his need to look at women.

My marriage (now over) was dysfunctional on several levels, but one wedge was porn. But my wife quite literally got upset when she saw my eyes notice another woman—and I’m not talking leering, I’m talking a glance on the street—to the point where she would follow my eyes wherever I was looking, and she even began to accuse me of being gay if she thought I was looking at a man! It got to the point where I couldn’t look anywhere but at her or at the ground without her getting upset.

But what made her crazy was when she found I’d been looking at porn sites. She used all the words I’ve read in these comments: sick, pig, pervert, etc. I promised I wouldn’t anymore, but I did, and two more times she “caught me”. Although I knew my behavior was hurting her, I didn’t feel I was doing anything wrong. SHE had the problem. I went to a counselor, and he told me that we needed to talk about our relationship with porn, and I said, uh, I don’t think I can do that with her. I had been demonized, I was so defensive, I felt the only way to deal with it was to promise her I wouldn’t do it and try my hardest.

But especially nowadays, it is so easy to access porn. Legitimate web site with no sexual content will have ads with “sexy women” and eventually, being constantly reminded of what was just a click away, I would give in. (There’s a reason so much advertising, so many TV shows, etc., seem to feature attractive women: because men will ALWAYS look at women.)

The most shocking, most devastating day of my life was when my wife left me. There were a number of reasons (as many on “her side” as on “my side”) but porn was a big one. I still love her to this day, and to know that one reason I lost her was porn makes me sick. But it didn’t have to be that way. Many women understand men, and know that looking at porn is a response to a natural inclination. If my wife had understood that, we may have been able to work through our other issues.

But the reality is that many decent, loving women do NOT understand that. My current girlfriend, a wonderful, loving woman, shares the same attitude as many of the commenters here. She is threatened by porn and doesn’t understand why I might “rather look at porn than be with her.” We have honest conversations about porn—I told her about the problem with my ex—and we both understand the others’ attitude. The difference for me, this time, is that I don’t look at porn anymore. Not because I don’t want to—if she didn’t care, I WOULD look at porn—but because I don’t want the same thing to happen to this relationship that happened with the last one.

But I am not being true to my nature, I am suppressing myself, and ultimately I think that is wrong. I have zero desire to cheat—I am 46 and have never cheated while in a committed relationship. How I “deal with” not looking at porn is that I appreciate as fully as possible the beauty that is all around me. Like most men, I appreciate so much about so many women. I love the woman in my life—that’s why I’m with her! But it is unrealistic, and unnatural, to expect a man not to appreciate the sexuality of other women. For me, on the street, on the train, in a restaurant, practically anywhere, I can appreciate the natural beauty all around me. Early 20s, 50s, 60s, skinny, chubby, black, white, brown, I don’t care, I love women. I don’t want to fuck them all, I just think they’re beautiful. If one of them was walking naked down the street for some reason, hell yeah, I’d look, and I’d get a hard-on. I’m a man. It’s crazy to think that a man can only be attracted to his significant other. It’s unrealistic, unnatural and unfair.

But I have heard my girlfriend, and she makes it clear to me how insecure–her words—porn makes her feel. Ultimately I think it’s her problem to fix, but in the meantime, I am going to support her and not look at porn. And I don’t. Porn is the fastest, easiest way to scratch the part of a man’s brain that craves that varied exposure to sexuality. But in its absence, a man can still be creative and respect the feelings of his woman, as misguided as they may be.

Of course, for many men, like with drugs or food or alcohol or video games, porn can become a barrier and a path to dysfunction. As with anything, moderation is the key.

Lynn–> I hate to be the one to say this, but I’m afraid it doesn’t sound too good… If he is chatting to women on the internet, then it’s not about physical attraction… Or does he speak to them sexually?

This is one of the situations where I said I can understand why some women would call men dogs. The thing I disagreed with was women who generalise and call all men dogs because they’ve had bad experiences, but I wasn’t trying to justify what some men do wrong…

Personally I disagree with what your husband is doing… I think you should have a long talk with him about it, tell him that it is wrong for him to speak to other women, but he can look at as much pornography as he wants!

If I were you, I would tell him that I was unhappy with what he was doing, and if he didn’t want to change it, or if he said he would change it and then not, I would end it. Sorry to say but it seems like his fantasies have replaced the real thing, which I just think is wrong. Find yourself a guy who fantasises about YOU, and only wants you as long as you’re available, only resorting to pornography when you’re not there to satisfy his needs.

BrothersUnite

I agree with you fully… But not only that; women complain about men looking at pornography and getting turned on and masturbating, yet ALL women read romance novels and watch romantic movies…

So the way I see it, men look at porn and fantasise about those women…

Women look at romance novels and movies and fantasise about those men…

If anything it’s worse when women look at that stuff cos half the time they actually wish their boyfriends/husbands were like that, whereas (from what I’ve heard) men never wish that their partners were like the women that are in porn, they just use it as a means to reach that mindset (being turned on)…

Correct me if I’m wrong but women are just as bad as men… (Not that looking at porn is a bad thing, but you get what I mean!)

I see you have analyzed all of your girlfriends “insecurities”. Good for you.

First of all; why is it your RIGHT as a male to look at other women, to masturbate to other REAL people. Just becouse they have been caught on tape, doesn’t change the fact that they are still real life human beings. What they are doing are very real. Where is the fantasy-aspect in all that? What if you were in the same room as them, forget the camera lens, doesn’t this qualify as cheating to you? Many women considers porn as cheating. I understand completely why your wife freaks out when you clearly isn’t even bothering to fantasies about her, but about other ethnicity, agegroups etc that has NOTHING in common with her. What signals does that send?

Secondly, I wonder how you would feel if the tables were turned. If not only your partner enjoyed and actively participated in looking at porn of other men. Even masturbating to it. Men that didn’t look like you at all. Maybe men who reminded her of ex-lovers. Would you still feel okay with these “innocent fantasies”? And now I’m not talking about her putting on a show for you. But herself locked in a room pleasuring herself to images of OTHER males. And what about cybersex? Phonesex? Same damn thing.

Men watching porn is fine. Its what guys do. If you are a down to eartch, open to new things, you prob. would understand that, thats just what guys do. Hell, you might find it interesting to watch a little porn yourself. When it becomes to a point where you notice your man gets on all the time..meaning your web browsing history is full to the max everyday with porn sites, then yes talk to your man. If they love you, they “might” understand. Guys can go to strip clubs and enjoy it just by looking but honeslty if I was to go to a all nude strip club for women, I prob. wouldnt enjoy all that much. Yes naked guys look good but it I think guys look at naked women differently…thats just me so maybe im just weird. If your man is viewing live web cams then YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. I understand thats a guys “ultimate” porno b/c they can tell the women what to do and how to do it) but they have crossed the line with that one. Thats as live as it gets. You dont know if he is exchanging number with her. Once that happens then I think there is a problem. Most live webcams cost money so if your man is waisting money…who knows what else he could be spending it on. I could be wrong about all this..but I just know this from experience and yes it hurts.

Whats a girl suppose to do If I leave this great guy I have becauses of the porn, which buy the way it is really hard to feel the same about him as I did before. I found out his porn mistress. And start dating someone else only to end up in the same boat all over again. Since all guys look at porn is my only option is to deal with it or be alone. The whole thing has caused me to loose respect for him and I dont have a lot of faith in what the future could hold for us. I want to understand I really love him alot I just don’t know what to do.

Not all guys look at porn. This is propaganda and I would bet some of these people posting such are agent provocateurs.

They are liars.

It is not some genetic marker that is making these people look. They look because of the mind controlling propaganda and brainwashing. Pornography plays on man’s natural instincts towards visual inspiration.

Pornography has NOTHING to do with feminine, btw. Once the stimulation wears off they either stop, which normally would happen as a man reaches a more mature and conscience awareness of LIFE. Or some move on to more and more hard core porn. It becomes an addiction….Because it operates on the brain as a drug would.

Read some of Henry Makow’s articles. He is a sane voice in a vile swamp.:

http://www.savethemales.ca/000535.html

It is obvious that this pornography is not free speech. Listen to what OTHER men say.

Then listen to how pornography, and this is from the medical journals and medical profession, works and actually changes the brain functioning causing addictions just like chemicals and drugs:

http://www.drjudithreisman.com/archives/2005/12/senate_subcommi.html

These guys telling you ALL men look are pulling your legs. What they are doing is justifying degradation of humanity.

There is a big difference in pornography and nudity. We see the tastefull art of the ancients in regards to female and male bodies alike.

from
http://www.drjudithreisman.com/archives/2005/12/senate_subcommi.html

Dr. Satinover emphasized that modern science debunks the dangerous illusion that pornography is merely “_expression in the trivial sense that a fall from the Empire State Building is a mere stumble–since it’s hitting the ground that’s fatal. Or, that cigarettes don’t cause cancer, it’s the burning smoke that’s the problem.”

Here is what I mean: Like cigarettes, that particular form of _expression we call pornography, unlike all other forms of _expression, is a delivery system that has a distinct and powerful effect upon the human brain and nervous system. Exactly like cigarettes, and unlike any other form of _expression, this effect is to cause a powerful addiction. Like any other addiction, the addiction is both to the delivery system itself–the pornography–and to the chemicals that the delivery system delivers. [Emphasis in original.]

It may seem surprising that, at this juncture, I should speak of “chemicals,” when one might be thinking instead of “sex.” But, in fact, modern science allows us to understand that the underlying nature of an addiction to pornography is chemically nearly identical to a heroin addiction: Only the delivery system is different, and the sequence of steps. That is why heroin addicts in particular give up sex and routinely compare their “rushes” to “orgasms.”

The pornography addict soon forgets about everything and everyone else in favor of an ever more elusive sexual jolt. He will eventually be able to find it only among other “junkies” like himself, and he will place at risk his career, his friends, his family. He will indulge his habit anywhere and everywhere, at any time. No one, no matter how highly placed, is immune. And like all other addicts, the pornography addict will lie to cover it up, heedless of risk or cost to himself or to others.

Dr. Layden included the anti-social effects of pornography consumption in her testimony:

Those who use pornography have also been shown to be more likely to engage in illegal behavior as well. Research indicates and my clinical experience supports that those who use pornography are more likely to go to prostitutes, engage in domestic violence, stranger rape, date rape and incest. These behaviors should not be surprising since pornographic videos containing all of these themes are readily available and the permission-giving beliefs of these pornographic videos reinforced by the orgasm say that all these behaviors are normal, acceptable, common and don’t hurt anyone.

my husband looks at porn and I truly understand and it really doesnt bother me, but what does it that he will not have sex with me; I am not fat i am athletic with and average body, nice chest; sexy i must say for having two children!!! Should I be worried? Well lets Just say this I am worried things are not good at all…what is a lady to do?

This is weird, I stumbled upon this web site while looking for porn.
Sarah hit the nail on the head, so read it again…

Porn is the target for anger, only because it’s easy to point at.
What’s really going on, isn’t even a “porn” issue if you’re willing to step back, breathe, and look at the whole picture.

The first thing women think is “Why doesn’t he just come to me for sex if he’s horny?”

Fact: Masturbation and Sex are on completely different scales.Sex, as everyone here knows, is an intimate act with another person. Masturbation is a private act with oneself. It is NOT your business nor is it something you have any right to control, ever. If someone is looking to “get off” by themselves, they are not interested in being intimate with another person. He’s not asking you to have sex with him, because he wants to have sex with himself. Wanting to masturbate is NOT wrong and in fact.. it is healthy.

Another possible question:
“How am I supposed to compare to these women/whores.”

Fact: Your sig other doesn’t WANT you to act/look like the women they view on the internet. If you DID act and look like most of the women that men tend to jack off to, they would not be with you for ANY length of time. You would be nothing but a fuck box. Men do not commit to, nor emotionally invest in fuck boxes.

–(Actually, fuck that, be the fantasy. I’m not saying lets engage in a double penetration, but watch some porn with me. Tell me you’d be comfortable trying something new. Hell, I’ll do the same, I want to be you’re fantasy also.

Question 3:
“Why does he look up “degrading” porn?”
If he’s looking at “fuckherfaceuntilshecries.com” it’s because every once in a while, he’d like to fantasies about fucking a girl’s face until she cries. All it is, is a fantasy. Does it mean he WANTS to do it to you, or in real life at all? No. A fantasy is just that, a fantasy. If you’re still confused, think about a fantasy about -anything- that you wouldn’t necessarily want to do in real life, and you’re on the right track.

– (LMAO)

Question 4:
“Why does he look at porn? I don’t do that, yuck!”
You may not look at visual porn and that’s fine and dandy. I bet you’ve read a romance novel or two in your life time. Do you know what that is? It’s basically porn for women. (Please attempt to deny this) Or how about a random fantasy of being saved by a muscled hunk of a man from a burning building with a long and savory kiss for the hero? Uhm, hello.. you just stepped into your fantasy land. Just because your method of fantasy doesn’t have the same medium as your significant other’s, doesn’t mean it’s any different.

Question 5:
“Why am I being neglected? I want sex!”
Fact: Unless you say verbally that you would like to have sex, he’s not going to know. Okay, I lied.. If you sit infront of him and start stripping and touching yourself, that’s a big enough hint that you want it. Anything else, he’s not getting the hint. Men cannot read your mind and you’d be surprised how terrifying your possible “no” can be.

“But I asked him for sex, he turned me down.. then jerked off to porn.”
AHHA! Now here we go, that “whole picture” deal I mentioned way in the beginning. It’s safe to say, the porn is NOT the problem. The problem is he doesn’t want to have sex with you, period. Cut the anxiety of the evil evil evil porn out of the picture and you have what? “I’m not being satified by my man.” Deal with THAT issue because THAT is THE issue. Tell him how you feel (not about the porn, -sigh-), about the lack of intimacy between the two of you. Who knows, maybe he doesn’t want to have sex because he’s stressed out and it’s just temporary, he doesn’t think he can please you properly and doesn’t know how to bring it up (there’s your chance to inform him), you might need to try something other than missionary (yay, fun!) etc etc. Slapping him with “i can’t believe you watch porn” will get you a stone wall.. and it should. Coming to him and actively seeking out how to make your sex life better (or exist again), now that’s your fix.
Disclaimer: I didn’t say he would stop looking at porn with this method. I am implying that when you find out what’s wrong with YOUR sex life and work on it together, YOU will be better satisfied

WOW! what a great comment couldn’t have stated it better myself.

I am so tired of hearing that it is normal for men to look at porn. That is such an excuse for hurting the women who really love them. It is so sad to see so many women being hurt by the same thing… and all men can do is say, “its’ normal, we all look”. That’s fine, if you all want to look, theIn don’t let us love you. Be up front and hones, let us make an informed decison as to whether we really want to be with you. I can say i would not have married my husband if i would have known he looked at porn. I think its disgusting, and what happened to the art of love. Why do men expect women to be everything they want, but when it comes to what we expect from our men, there is nothing there but empty promises. I, like quite a few of the others on here, would rather be alone than be in a relationship that causes me so much grief over something that should be illegal, or atleast not as easily accessible. It is absurd that i should have to hate my life because my man looks at other women on the internet… i am better than that, he can lie to someone else. My dogs make me happier. Thanks guys. You would think that you guys would wise up and realize how much this hurts us… stop telling us that we are crazy and that we should just let it be… obviously, we are not crazy, in fact, we all feel the same way. (minus one or two) You say you love us, yet you go on hurting us.

all the answers have been very interesting…i HATE the fact that my bf looks at porn and pleasures himself to it…i KNOW that it is alot better then going out and getting with other women, but it just makes me angry inside…like i want to make him feel the same way….
so i ask you this, since its like trying to fight a war going every over exposed movie..mag…ect…
should i give up and act the way men act…will this make me understand or feel better knowing that i am doing it too? maybe those days that he takes his computer to the bedroom and locks the doors wouldnt piss me off to no end if i started doing it too, or even checking out mens packages while were out together…im just thinking maybe this would make things easier….i wish they could feel the way it makes us feel

why do men look at porn? is porn like cheating? whAT does it mean when a men that has a girlfriend and he has a account like on eharmony?

I’m a man who has been researching pornagraphy and the effects that it has on women and society , pornagraphy for the most part breeds violence against women , women are replused by porn because most women feel that they should be enough for the man in their life and he shouldn’t have to look else were for excitement , instead of loosing your man to pornagraphy why not exchange pornagraphy with something else that he likes to do but you don’t , this means that you will have to change a little , perhaps then he will be willing to do something you like to do that he did not like but will try it now because you opened the door compromise , then teach your husband about sex to see what he enjoys most
some men who love there wives will study pornagraphy to see what pleases women most , they are ashamed to ask so show your husband what you like, I interviewed and old couple married 65 years the wife was sitting in the husbands lap making out on the bench in the park , so I sat down beside them , it pissed them off for a bit , then I started asking them questions , when they first got married they were both virgins they asked God before they consumated their marriage that they should always be intoxicated in each other’s arms , so while they are in each others arms hugging they both have orgasms only there is no dischange when they hold one an other and french kiss she said it was like little firecrackers going off inside of her mutliple orgasms , when they had regular intercourse both agreed that it was 3 times more pleasureable than that and would have discharge and it’s been that way their whole marriage of 65 years both of them at the end of the conversation could not understand why they confided this to me , people all my life have always felt comfortable with me and have always answered question when I asked , they said that they go on their knees every night in prayer and ask to keep the gift , neither one ever looked at pornagraphy , she said that she’s always been all that he ever needed

Hears my problem!! I believe I would be cool with my man watching porn if he made me feel beautiful and worth something. We are insecure because our men make us that way. How am I supposed to feel when I try my hardest to look good but all I get is a….”you look good” ???? seriously??? F*** you!! Of course I do!! We need more than that!! How bout baby I don’t know what I’d do without you, your my heart and soul, thank you for all you do, you look beautiful today…(even thou I have no makeup on) would it kill you to show a little affection???? I hate that stupid rule….Guys are different…..Well F*** that!! Fake it then!! Just as we don’t like you watching porn….you guys might not like showing some “love and affection” to your woman. Well it takes 2 baby!!! If your woman isn’t confident and doesn’t like you watching porn its prob because you don’t make her feel special then in turn she gets pissed when you watch porn because she’s self conscious!!! I WONDER WHY???? UGH!!!

hi i have been married for 5 years going on 6 and i have read all of these im so depressed all the time my husband looks at girls and porn all the time and then has sex with me is that what love is does it excist i really what to know i love my husband so much i would die for him he is my first and only love i dont know what to do i have threated that i would leave asked him to stop i even cry right infront of him but all thay say is im sorry it shouldnt hurt you get over it right now he isnt really doing much but upsest with a girl thats on a game called samus and yes he finds naked ones of her to how can i compete wih that she’s not real whats wrong with me and why does these things hurt us why cant we just exept it i know on thing is im not leaving him he is my whole world if only he can feel what i feel he i even told him i would look at porn then and he tells me to do it but thats not me i dont think to wrongs dont make a right i will just live untill the end and then never be with a guy agian like i said hes my first and will be my only i will just get a dog if im still around but i told him i im not then he can remarrie. i have a problem with the porn is that i am not good enogh in the erlyer years he would say y cant u look like that yes im a fat women that waighs 199lb but he didnt do it anymore that it made me happy intill yesterday he admits it he looks because im to fat

What I find funny about the “Men are visual creatures” comment is that it is believed to be true among the scientific community that women are also visual creatures, and this is why they are prone to fuss around with their appearance. I find it a bit convenient to say that men and women are visually stimulated by different things. The divide between men and women on this issue I believe is that a majority of porn that is discovered is porn that is

1) Aimed toward men

2) Shown through a man’s eyes

Very little is taken into consideration in these movies for what REALLY pleases a woman as an individual, and I can see that leaving a bad taste after the truth comes out.

I’m not bashing porn, but that’s how I see it.

Watching porn is hard-wired into men. Men are evolutionarily programmed to do it. Pretty much every man watches porn. Pretty much every woman has a problem with men watching porn. If men weren’t programmed to do it, then they wouldn’t, due to women’s resistance to it. Most men don’t enjoy hiding things, being sneaky, or hurting women. Men are programmed to shop for other women, so we watch porn to satisfy that need. We are also programmed to take care of the woman we’re with, but as the article state, that creates a lot of pressure that doesn’t exist with watching porn. Women who say that they’ve made their men stop watching are not only deluding themselves that their man has actually stopped, they are also creating a relationship where hiding activities is a necissity to the man. In addition, she is attempting to force the man to stop something that is in his nature. Nature will prevail. He will either watch porn behind her back, or will begin looking elsewhere for that release. Even if the man stays true, there will still be frustration from not being able to find any outlet for those desires, as well as the frustration from being controlled.

When a man watches porn, it does not mean that he’s not happy with his woman, or satisfied, or any of that. To men, women are like art… they are the most beautiful thing in the world. Just because you’ve seen one painting, or one flower, or one sunset it doesn’t mean you don’t want to see more. To put it in terms of other things that are ingrained: Just because a person isn’t hungry doesn’t mean they don’t want a peice of chocolate. Just because a person is happy in a relationship and doesn’t want to get pregnant, doesn’t mean they don’t want to have sex.

It isn’t just guys that need variety. If you men really, honestly think that us women don’t sneak off and look at “hot asian guys” or “hot guys in boots” or “hot guys whatever” then you are dead wrong. We have the same carnal needs and desires that you men do, we just are sneakier about it than you are. We lie too. We are experienced liars. We can look you in the eye and tell you that you are the best we ever had and make you believe it. We fantasize – we don’t just use porn to fantasize, we are in a way worse than you guys are. We fantasize about your friends, our exes, high school guys we dated or didn’t date, college guys we knew, your brother, the guy next door or across the street and we do this even while we are having sex with you – if we are bored of the same old routine, we will use fantasy to get us there. So if you think that you are doing something that we aren’t – you are wrong. Dead wrong. Just remember that for every 1 picture/video/fantasy of some girl you don’t know that you have – we probably have at least 2 or 3 of people we do know

hey ppl, i jus got back in town and i was away from my boyfriend for a week…i come in my room and i went to the history to find a website i had previously gone to before i left…..i saw some websites that i hadnt seen before and out of curiosity i went to them….they were porn….this isnt the first time…im aware that he looks at porn but he denied when i confronted him about it the first time….bcuz he left the screen open and when i came to use the computer there it was!!! but instead of being honest…he lied and said he wasnt looking at porn…..shouldd i be worried that he lies about it? or shoulld i leave it be? i feel like he should trust me enough to be honest about it…i have lots of uncle and male cousins…and my brothers too…i know men watch porn and i could care less if he watches it bcuz our sex life is great! what should i do?

Frankly, I think anyone who says men NEED porn and MUST have porn and you CANNOT stop them is deluded.

I’ve read most of the answers here, and this is what I’m getting. I too, am curious why men look at porn. I have a fiance’ of 4 years, and I stumbled across my internet history data to see porn site links.

Yes, big deal. But at the same time, there are several little things that eat as us as women while dealing with these similar situations. A male (I’m assuming) mentioned earlier that we dislike our men looking at porn because it makes us feel “insecure.” I at times am insecure about things, yes, we all are at one point. But porn being the source of my insecurities? No, not so much.

What bothers me, also as a few of you have mentioned before, is that our men feel the need to pleasure themselves by themselves, while we are obviously withholding on that as a personal activity. So is the conclusion to watch more porn while the other isn’t around? No. In my opinion, that is purely selfish, for self-serving reasons. Fantasy could very well be the “new and improved” reason for why men look at porn, but to me, it seems to clearly serve as an “alone time pleasure myself to the naughtiest things possible,” routine. The idea that we aren’t aware and aren’t watching, is part of the whole deal I think, which is why so many of us women end up feeling “left out to dry,” & blatantly speaking, sexless.

You claim that men watch porn because they are being given fantasies, and personal creative space to be “set free.” If that’s the case and it’s on-going, then own up to it. Lying and etc, proves to us that you’d rather have sexual pleasure ALONE, rather than with us. It calms your sex drive in some cases, making you faithful to the sexual acts you watch online, rather then in your own bed. In that case, it becomes a problem for me; when these types of things begin to affect MY intimate life, when it is no longer simply affecting just you. Someone also mentioned previously that women use sex as a tool to “keep men in line,” and I will disagree. I will not vouch for others, but I am not one of those women. So making such a generalizing statement is actually quite ignorant.

If the general idea of watching porn for men is in fact that new form of fantasy, I’d like to say it’d be nice if we’d be included on it. However, I honestly doubt that is the case, being that I think the whole wanting of it stems from it being an “alone time,” type of deal. Also, I’d honestly have to pass at the half the trashy porn that I’ve seen men dive into to begin with. Even the so called classy porn can be rather tasteless.
A sad conclusion that seems to be surfacing, is that there isn’t one. You can’t change a person, or a habit that **apparently** stems from modern male society. So in my opinion women, let them be if this isn’t affecting your personal life. We aren’t perfect either. But what do we do when it does start to affect our personal lives? Perhaps we should tend to our “fantasies” with other creative outlets also? More flexibility from both parties?

For the other women out there who may be dealing with this or something similar, I hope it works out for you with patience and maybe some more communication..

I don’t get it I’m 19 I have two little girls and my pussy is still tight but my boyfriend who is 29 and suposed to be mature always thinks that he has to have pics of naked girls on his phone everywhere we go he is always looking at other bitches I’m in shape I look damn good why does he do this?it really hurts and he just doesn’t understand why, well that’s what he says I’m tiered of excuses I don’t know what to do I’m so lost and he’s really going to lose me if it doesn’t stop…

I think its gross, especially if you have a girlfriend, cops should arrest people who look at it..

Ray..Is a perfact exsample of a man who knows nothing on how to treat a woman ! No wonder he neds porn he is uncaring and could probably never please a woman in the first place! Like this RAY no you dont have to take the time to please a woman. You wack off to your smut,but then again the woman or women you are waching dont want you to satify them you are the last thing on their mind.Though in your pitiful mind you cant comprehend that.
Why would any woman but a porn whore that you pay fr want to satify you and se dont even wan to!!!! LOL… IDIOT!

How in the crap can you say that looking at porn makes a woman like fine art. Is it fine art to see men shoot semen all in a womans face,is it fine art to see the pain on some of the womens faces,is it fine art to see her repeatly violated! Is it fine art that most of the women are drugged up to do thes acts that you so much believe women really enjoy. Is it fine art for man not to show a woman any affection at all ! To violate her over and over again.This is not art! This is emotional and physical abuse and every woman if she the porn slut that you dream about or the woman that really loves you…Lay down let men violate you,let them soot semen in your face,in your mouth,ram things up your ass ….DO IT…IT’S FINE ART !!!!!!

I’ve never snooped around my bf’s stuff or asked if he watches porn, but if I suddenly found out that he did, I don’t think I’d have negative feelings toward it. As long as he doesn’t try “porn moves” with me, I’m fine.

Although I don’t watch porn (in fact, I’m disturbed by it), I don’t understand why women would be angry about it unless if her partner is addicted to it.

Okay…this one’s for Phil…or anyone else who’d care to comment. I am completely willing to fulfill my man’s desires, kinky and all. I consider myself to be a self confident, sensual, sexual person. My husband, however, either lies to me or is completely uncomfortable with his sexuality and lies to himself. I would say 99% of the porn he looks at is shemale. Shemales with other men mostly. I have asked him to help me understand it. He insists he feels uncomfortable when I approach anal play and says no when I have suggested a strap on. He also denies being into “men” (as I see it) or rather “chicks with dicks” as some men see it. Personally I don’t see a difference. I feel duped. He insists it’s “just porn”, but if porn is a fantasy, it’s something you dream about, does that not equate to his idea of a c*@$ in another mans backside is a pleasurable thing? Then why the resistance when I try to spice up our sex life? To me, it spells that he’s into being with a man, and I’m the fool. If you’ve got other ideas, please I’m open to them.

To the guys…Would you not feel insecure if your woman was searching for pics/videos of “huge cocks” every day? Or two guys at the same time? I think there’s a double standard when it comes to sex in general, but especially porn!

Sara, back in Nov 2006. I SO agree with you. It really pisses me off.. men NEED it???? Really? GROW UP! IF you are with a partner.. married, dating whathave you.. then I see NO reason why you should be IMAGING sex with another female. FUCK that. I mean, how can we mean anything to you if you can’t keep your sex thoughts on us?? I mean you are not 100% committed in my opinion. I think it’s a form of cheating. You wanting and wishing for something you don’t have. Yes, woman want stuff too.. but they don’t find such disrepectful ways to get it. I actually never read past the first 2 or 3 comments. This subject is such a SORE subject with me. It almost broke my marriage up. I wonder if men know that the more you play with yourself(exactly what your doing) you slowly hurt your actual sex life. By means, a woman will soon not beable to meet your needs. Your hand is what you will need more n more. I can’t imagine how men have never understood that women are emotional and sex is so important to us. What makes you think it’s ok to leave a strip club all hot and bothered and then think it’s ok to come home and want to have sex with us??? Hello? How rude is that? Yes i know you will say “at least we came home to you” GEE thanks.. i appreciate being the after thought. Oh, and porn is the same. I do think if it’s something you both enjoy then alright.. but if you KNOW it hurts your female and tears her self esteem down they why must you continue? Who is more important here??
Men, you slowly wire your brain into not being “happy” with the female your with, you find yourself needing more and more. It’s BAD shit.. porn is. Read up on it men.. see what men have said about it.. how it destroyed their lives, their marriages, relationships with friends family and even their own kids.
Women want and NEED to feel like we are your fantasies! The more you involve us the more you will get. I’m not saying a 3 some.. doubt that. I mean really men, I know that with some communication, love and tenderness you have a higher chance of getting more of the freakier things you long for. Quit the porn…if you have a female. She should be what you lust for!
I think the NEEDING it is a bunch of BullShIT!! You need to learn how to focus ur mind on other things. Take out the trash, do the dishes, take a walk, something! You are not dumb so use what God gave you in a positive way. DO the little things for us.. it will be for your benefit. At least I know it is my husband’s benefit!! Women really enjoy pleasing their men,, just make sure you are only pleased by us.

I used to think porn was bad…my boyfriend looking at it all the time and now I’m looking at it, but…he gets mad and makes accusations that I’m seeing someone. I think that the human body is beautiful especially naked.

Well I was married for 11.5 years and my ex was addicted to porn not just porn but gay porn..to make a long story short..he admitted to having sex with a man prior to our marriage..btw this was after I walked in on him useing a viberator on himself! Ok so now years later I start my life over..now I am engaged and during my pre-dating conversations with my fiance..I asked him how do you feel about porn? He says “well I have looked at it before it doesn’t do much for me I dont have to look at it” I said great well just to let you know I do not want to date anyone that looks at porn…period! He was fine with that. He doesn’t look at porn..Ok so a year and a half later guess what…he is looking at porn! Ok someone explain this one to me? I sleep naked, I walk around naked, we have an aweosme sex life! I ask him why he says I was curious? I am like about? I am a very sexual person. I am very open minded..so? I am very confused. To me its disrespectful to me. I look at those woman as someone’s daughter and someone mother possibly. Would he want someone looking at his mom, sister, or my 16 yr old like that? NO so why is he doing it? I guess I do not want excuses just the truth. He knew I came from a marriage of lies and secrets..so why this? I thought we were closer than that. I guess not…So tell me why do men look at porn?

Okay, so why is it a huge thing for guys to look at porn? Im a girl and I have.. Its really not that big of a deal. And, duh, its stimulating.

Not much more than that :p (Not like the people are actually there with your guys people!)

It’s interesting to me that many of the women here demand that their perspective is correct, and that the men should do what they want with regards to looking at porn. If what you want is another woman, get another woman and stop trying to remake men into women. Men are visually stimulated in a way that most women will never understand. It is reflected in many things besides sex: sports and the visual arts are two. I know I like looking at women, both live and photo, dressed and undressed. I would never act on that, but there is definitely something highly pleasurable in the brain from looking that can’t be explained.

When I look at porn, I’m not looking at the woman in the same way as I look at my partner. There is no interest in what is in the head, simply interest in the action. There are types of sex that my partner will not engage in, and I can accept that. She understands and accepts the fact that I fantasize about that sex and part of this is looking at pictures of people actually engage in it. Surely it’s better than going and finding or hiring someone with which to do it. Those are really the only two realistic alternatives for most.

Who said women don’t fantasize about men or women they wouldn’t really do in real life. We aren’t much different than men, men just think we are. We think a lot about sex, we masturbate and we fantasize about all kinds of different things! We are not innocent as you think, we just want you to believe we aren’t perverted like you men are but we are! LOL

I am just sickened by this. I am 11 years younger than my husband, and am in better shape than I was in before two children. I wear lingerie to bed, give him blow jobs, have sex with him whenever he wants to, and am always dressing up and keeping myself looking sensual. Why is he constantly looking at asses, crack and pussies on the computer when I leave. He’s not looking at women getting banged; he’s looking at women’s naked butts to a point that he leaves it on the computer when I come in the room, and tells me that he felt sick from looking at it and walked away from computer.
What I don’t get is that I never looked at men porn even though he is overweight, with a beer belly, and never exercises, combs his hair, or trims his beard and mustache to look good for me. We’ve been married for 14 years and I am repulsed, and hurt by his actions. It makes me feel unattractive and he is so bold about it, I know he doesn’t care how I feel about it. I just don’t want to deal with his perverted ass anymore. I want a divorce and be with a man who appreciates my body and also takes care of himself too. See, men fail to realize, that all that women do to keep attractive to their man is for him, and it hurts to know that it doesn’t matter. I feel like a wasted many years and want to start off fresh, knowing that I am appreciated and still attractive to a man. That’s all women want is to feel wanted in a sexual and loving way and when men look a t other women on th internet, it hurts very deeply. I am done.

Fantasizes Ok. However, my boyfriend watches so much porn that I’m always suppose to come up with new things. Maybe I don’t want to. I work all day and he sits at home. I pay on weekends. Don’t I deserve to have a fantasy that he cares about me? Why do I always have to feel like a porn star. He gets to video taping me. Than his bored because he doesn’t have a life and I have to be a porn star. Please give me a break. I would like some communation, cuddling and love. Not his balls over my face while he video tapes. It’s hard to enjoy sex when your always feeling like some show girl. Then when he is tryning to get me off he wants to talk about what he thinks I want to do with other men. Excuse me I wish he would at least be quit so I could enjoy it.

Greg,

You are a very intelligent man.

In Lukes defence. Don’t make him feel bad. It sounds like he really loves this girl. She is not very experience with life. She may even have been abused as a child.
I know I’ve been were she is. As I get older I’m am trying to learn more about men. My boyfriend does things that I don’t like. He even got mad and told me he doesn’t love me. However, he called me during the week. He never said sorry but I know he was hurt when he said it. However, Luke being that your girlfriend is not experience. Don’t be surprised if she ends of messing around out of hurt. Try not to take that personally if she does. Until she knows other men do the same thing she will have the same opinion. Sometimes that opinion never changes.

this comment/question is to adresses to ( an Odinary guy)

i really agree and can understand youre first comment on this subject as im pretty sure it relates to my problem at the moment.

im usually a very happy care free and not a very deep person on these subject an have always just said ( what ever floats you boat or tickles you pickle is fine (each to their own really)

but iv found myself slowly but surley noticing that our sex life has become a one way street about him – he knows an has known since getting together 2-3 years ago that im a die hard romantic at heart and more of the sensual touching teasing sorta lover – and my partner is more of a down an dirty lover or just wants head or to wank i really do think he is a porn addict too. like most people i do variey in likes an dislikes an do enjoy just a good old fuck to! , however every sexual encounter of late (being the last 5-6 months) is just a dirty fuck – iv given more head than i could poke a stick at and gotten more dirty than most porn stars would for my man simply because i love his guts and it makes me feel good making him feel good

is that he dosent love me as much as i do him
or is it that im being a bit needy

or is he simply selfish or what ???
please give me some advise if not you anyone PLEASEEE

THEY SAY YOU HAVE TO TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED – AND I HAVE BEEN GIVING HIM MY ALL AND TREATING HIM JUST THE WAY HE LIKES IT – WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET THE SAME IN RETURN ?

too all this “they do it to spread their seed” bs..my BF is 27 and hasn’t had the urge to have a child or spread his seed yet I caught him with pron. Also to the “you don’t keep yourself up or look like the porn star” well I was a stripper..a hot one! I looked like a girl next door porn star
if that makes sense..sweet but willing to get down a dirty and not all used up so none of that matters to some. I never caught my ex of 2 yrs with porn but he sure did like to ask me to make it for him..he wanted pictures everyday, videos of me blowing him, sexting..I gave it all and that was enough.. some guys are decent and have evolved and some are just that old cartoon wolf whos eyes pop out anytime a pair of legs with a pussy in between walks by.

and to all the variety stuff..if you want variety be SINGLE!! ding ding ding there’s the answers to all your problems. You hurt no one and get to look at all the blondes, asians, red heads, fat girls, bukkake shots , barely legal girls you want! It’s a choice, you either choose to be with one person and commit yourself to them or you choose to look at porn which is single behavior because you have no one to think of and no one to answer to. No one forced any of you guys to say yes i’ll be your BF or ask..not that you care because you’ve heard it all before but you’re just selfish for wanting your good little GF at home and your whores on your screen. To women..don’t stoop to their level by saying well he’s going to cheat so i’m going to cheat..now you’re just in a free for all cheating relationship..move on and as tough as it seems find one that won’t cheat on you like that. good luck to you all!

I have read quite a bit of posts… and I think the bottom line is:

Women who’s partners look at porn feel like they are not good enough to hold their man’s attention.

I’ve been down this road ALOT with my new bf. I came into the relationship and discovered he had a bad history of porn.

Videos, DVDs, Drawings he drew, an entire folder and hardrive filled with porn.

I told him straight up, I wasn’t going to have it. He got rid of everything and I made sure of it. When you’re in a loving relationship and you’re satisfied with your spouse, you should NOT NEED other visual stimulants or fantasies.

Well, we’ve been together for 2 years and yes, he’s been on/off with the porn looking. Everytime I find it on his pc, he denies looking it up. Everytime. Without failure. Its ONLY after I push him to the breaking point that he admits he did it. BUT still denies ever jerking off to it.

So, my question is, why look at something if it does nothing for you AND you KNOW how much it HURTs your loved one?

He gave me the ‘excuse’ that he was looking for new things for us. Ok. I can beleive that. BUT he was looking at HENTAI and pictures of just nude women. How can you learn something ‘sexual’ from just a woman’s pose?

Then he tried to tell me he looked it up after arguements just to piss me off BUT would STILL HIDE it because he didnt want to HURT ME? ? ? How does that make sense?!

I understand deeply that men ARE wired different, BUT they need to understand that if they truely LOVE their woman and she has sat down and explained how much this hurts her, he should truely understand and stop. Its a habit and just like smoking, you need to quit.

I’ve tried to help him, I really have. I’ve spent $$$ hundreds on nice, slutty, skanky, sexy outfits for him. I’ve done every sexual act to him and then some. I’ve roleplayed with him. I’ve given him a freaking blowjob untill I couldnt feel my mouth. And yet he still wants porn???

Just bandwagoning on the excuse that every guy does it, is extremely lame and just an even more excuse to try and get away with it. Women do nothing but love their man unconditionally. Most if not all women would NEVER EVER consider even glancing at another naked man.

I know I would never. That naked man in that picture is not my bf. He is not the man I love. I refuse to pleasure myself to strangers. Why can’t men see it that way? We just want you all to ourselves, and honestly, if you loved your partner with all your heart, you would see it that way…If you want your fantasies or variety, DONT be in a relationship. Simple as that. I refuse to be anyone’s cow when they are getting someone else’s milk for free.

curvish wrote: “How can you look at pictures, and fantasize about women who are younger than your own daughters? All day long, that is all you did, looking at pictures of girls who are younger than your own daughter. It is so disgusting. Can you imagine a picture of your own 23 Year old daughters on Craigslist, erotic? Looking at the pictures on Craigslist, is like looking at your own daughters. These are pictures of girls who are 30 years younger than you. It is revolting.”

Revolting? Disgusting? So if a man has daughters (say they’re 23 years old), that means he should no longer be attracted to 22-year-old women? When his daughters turn 30, he can’t be attracted to any women 29 or younger? If a forty-something woman has 20-year-old sons, that means she is not “allowed” to find 20-year-old men attractive, or else she’s a pervert? There is quite a difference between looking at sexual pictures of one’s own daughters (not something that appeals to most men) and looking at sexual pictures of young adult women to whom one is not related (what most men do at some point, if not regularly via the internet). You are conflating the two acts as if to suggest that the latter is tantamount to the former and that they are equally objectionable. Get some perspective. If you don’t “get” why men (of any age) strongly prefer 18-25 year old women when it comes to a purely sexual attraction (in the case of masturbation to internet porn, a purely sexual fantasy), then I will break this down for you (I’m going to cover a hundred millennia in a few paragraphs, so this might take a while):

Men, predominantly, are biologically wired and have been genetically selected over thousands of generations to be most sexually attracted to females in their reproductive prime, i.e. late teens to early twenties. Females in this age range are the most likely to become pregnant and have the fewest health and reproductive complications; from a purely reproductive standpoint, they are the best investment of time and resources for a mate, or at least for a quickie. Older women can be incredibly sexy and attractive in their own right, but from a strictly reproductive standpoint (and that is the guiding instinct most of the time a man just wants to privately masturbate to ejaculation while fantasizing), 18-25 year-old women are the evolutionarily selected preference of most men, REGARDLESS of that man’s age. (This age range is by no means “fixed,” but rather is perception-based and encompasses women who at least look like they fall within it, which is at least partly why so many billions are spent by thirty- and forty-something women on beauty products to artificially prolong or recapture a twenty-something appearance.)
While taboo to admit and politically (and, depending on jurisdiction, perhaps legally) incorrect to act on, the fact is that a teenage/twenty-something female who exhibits all the outward physical cues of reproductive maturity (i.e. is able to become pregnant) will potentially arouse a healthy heterosexual male of ANY age, whether he is 16 or 46 or 76. We judgmentally recoil at the idea that a 76 year old grandfather might be sexually aroused by a 19-year-old woman, but this is just an example of how our socially conditioned and historically/culturally relative attitudes are often at odds with the basic biological drives that we evolved to have because they actually helped us to survive and reproduce.

Evolution 101: Traits that are predominant in a population or species exist because they conferred greater survival and/or reproductive value to those who possessed them, relative to those who did not possess them. Throughout our evolution as a species, men who preferred to pursue and have sex with young, nubile, roughly 18-25 year old women had more children than men with other preferences (say, men who preferred to mate with post-menopausal women). The former type of men had many more offspring than their counterparts, their sons inheriting this preferential drive towards youthful female partners, and thus this preference became a predominant trait among men through today (to the frustration of many an older woman).

It makes no difference to a man’s sexual cognitive processes that he may have daughters the same age as or even older than that 18-25 year old reproductive-prime set of women that his brain has been rigorously selected by evolution to find most sexually attractive. It would be like getting angry at a woman for being sexually attracted to men who are “old enough to be her father”. Women go for older men (yes, sometimes old enough to be their fathers) and men go for younger women (yes, sometimes young enough to be their daughters), and there are very good reasons for why each gender predominantly exhibits these tendencies. Women tend predominantly to be attracted to men who are at least a few years older—sometimes quite a bit older—and this itself is likely a selected-for/evolved trait because older males tend to have higher tribal/societal status and more resources to share with mates and potential offspring, and are therefore better investments from a survival and reproductive standpoint. When it comes to sheer sexual attraction, men predominantly prefer women in their reproductive prime (18-25), while women predominantly prefer older men. (From an evolutionary reproductive standpoint, it makes sense for men to pay even more attention to a potential female partner’s age (even in a fantasy) than for a woman, for another simple biological reason: a male has a good chance of getting you pregnant whether he’s 16 or 76. To the male mind, however, 18-25 is really our best sexual/reproductive bet for a female partner (even a fantasy one), because for every year past 25 in a woman’s age it becomes incrementally more difficult to impregnate her, plus she also has fewer potential fertile years left before menopause.) Back to the previous point: You have no more right to get upset with a man for looking at pictures of young, nubile, reproductively mature females (i.e. females who have sexually matured to the point they could be impregnated) than a man has a right to get upset with you for looking at pictures of older, protective, wise, fatherly-figure type males. In moments of private self-pleasure, instinct reigns supreme. So long as nothing illegal is being done and no physical harm is being done, there is nothing to object to. If you argue that emotional harm is being done, regardless of no physical harm, then you are failing to approach the issue rationally, as outlined above.

Post-script: Lest the above be misread as a defence for pedophilia (sexual attraction to PRE-pubescent persons, a perversion both biologically defective and morally despicable), the point I am making is that a man’s mind is biologically wired and selected by evolution to be primarily attracted to females who exhibit the signs of reproductive maturity (post-pubescent) but still have quite a few years of youthful reproductive potential. While socially (and, in many jurisdictions, legally) taboo, a normal, healthy man may even be sexually attracted to a female who exhibits all these signs at as young an age as 16 or so. Many females are already mothers by this age (particularly in the third world, but by no means exclusively). Indeed, the processed diets of industrialised countries, full as they are of artificial hormones, have empirically contributed to a general lowering of the onset of puberty in females and an acceleration of puberty. An average female of about 13-14 in the western industrialised world today is as physically and reproductively mature as a 16-17 year old was 100 years ago—and 100 years ago, it was very common for women to be married at that age, often to men 10 or more years their senior. It is therefore ironic that at the same time our society has become more judgmental and restrictive of male sexual instinct, the very stimuli that instinct has evolved to respond to has become even more precocious in its allure. At any rate, for 99.9% of our evolutionary history, men would pursue and try to mate with females in their reproductive prime.

The fact that a man may already have daughters who are themselves in their reproductive prime, or younger, or older, or of any age, is wholly irrelevant to his reproductive agenda. Yes, we are of course always free to CHOOSE what we do, even when such choices may go against instinct. But the problem I have with your whole “younger than his daughters, it’s so sick” tirade, is that you wrongly suggest that such a man is “sick”. Such a man is in fact perfectly healthy. He is here today—as are you, for that matter—because his father (and yours), and all our fathers’ fathers’ fathers’ going back to the Paleolithic, SAW 20-year-old females and WANTED urgently to inseminate them. Why do you think after 100,000-250,000 years as ‘modern’ humans—despite the constant population setbacks of massive plagues, famines and conflicts– we now have almost 7 billion people on this planet? A man is not sick for having this instinct. Need he choose to act on it? Of course not. But if he expresses this instinct or allows it to guide his preferences when selecting visual stimulation for masturbation, should he be condemned as “sick”? Absolutely not.

yes

Jb,
I just discovered 2 videos on my boyfriends laptop over the break. we have been madly in love over the past 2 years and I have to say we werent always honest with everything apparently. at first, it hurt like hell and i could not understand why he looks at porn, i still dont fully understand why he needs to if i am always willing to please him sexually and send him whatever picture or video he wants as i am 3 hours away from him at college. i admit too i like the thought of having unattached just raw sex and i like looking a naked womans body. it is a beautiful thing. i dont have a problem with him looking at a naked womans body on tv, or movies, or thinking that other women are attractive. its perfectly normal. but how is it ok for him to orgasm to other females? and then say he can still be happy with our mediocre sex (compared to the pornos, i do not consider our sex as mediocre) and orgasm to me? i feel that it is a form of cheating, because orgasm is mental, and even though your not physically ramming your dick into the hot latina xxx girl you basically are, atleast thats what ur mind and dick thinks at the time. i completely understand why you would want to look at naked girls pleasing themselves, its natural instinct. but if you really love her, you would understand. it hurts like HELL. i havent slept, barely ate, and have been throwing up since i found out. i used to work at hooters, (i quit bc he hated it), even tho i feel working at hooters doesnt really amount to looking at porn. so what if a guy wants to look at me with clothes on? it is “emotionally stimulating” to me that another guy finds me attractive and wants to talk and look at me. atleast he is not jacking off to a computer screen over my naked body. i think both sexes should put theirselves in the other persons shoes and then decide how they feel. as hard as it may be for a guy to admit, im sure u would hate it too and feel sick like we do too if we simply told you when we use a vibrator to another guys video, we just simply want variety, to merely fulfill our fantasy, to pretend his big cock is inside us. and at that moment we are getting off and cumming to him, (not you), we are not thinking about you at all and have no idea who you are for that split second in time. this is how we feel guys. and it f*78*** HURTS! we will get through this ladies, i think we are all sexy and beautiful, i am almost wanting to turn lesbian over this crap, atleast we would understand how to please one another.

What I don’t get is that all these men (90 – 100% ostensibly by all anecdotal accounts) act as if porn is a RIGHT in a relationship? WHY? because it is AVAILABLE???? Lots of things are AVAILABLE! Drugs are available. Prostitutes are available. Guns are available. Murder for hire is available too. Doesn’t make it a RIGHT.

I dated a guy who couldn’t ejaculate (orgasm) with a real women, only to porn and he didn’t even recognize the connection!!!! It was such a disappointment to me because seeing the man I love ejaculate is one of the greatest pleasures that I, as a woman, have ever had. It finishes the sexual act, gives the woman a ‘high’ of accomplishment that she brought her man to that level of pleasure and release, it is just a beautiful thing.

We live in this fast food mentality world where instant self gratification is seen as a right. Remember the old saying ‘good things come to those who wait’. So what if your girlfriend or wife is not available 24/7 to you sexually. C’mon are you a 6 your old child who throws a fit when he can’t do what he wants whenever he wants. When you turn to porn for sexual gratification you are turning AWAY from your partner. When you do it all the time you totally erode the intimacy and sanctity of sex in a relationship. How many stories have I read online about men who can’t maintain an erection or even perform at all because their brain is programmed to only respond to porn? I read on here all these stories by women who LOVE sex, who want their man! Yet he would rather jack off to some sluts on a screen while they lie unsatisfied in their marital bed?

What did people do in the olden days before computers eh? It is NOT a freakin’ RIGHT just because it is AVAILABLE.

My current partner is /was a porn addict. I laid down the law, if I catch him one more time it is OVER. He knows I am deadly serious.

All this crap I hear about it not being about the woman it is just some natural need a man has is bullsh*t. It goes right back to the selfish, entitled attitude toward instant self gratification. Porn is eroding relationships everywhere and it seems that men, in general, are too selfish and self absorbed to care.

please excuse my lack of capitalization and bad punctuation;
first off i am a man who has slept with probably more than my fair share of women(30+) i think, with great variety among them. i have slept with short ones, tall ones, asians, blacks, whites you name it.does that make me a scumbag? i don’t think so! i still talk to many of them. i do on occasion view porn and i think my current girlfriend has accepted it. she is 12 yrs my junior and i do enjoy that. porn has been around for centuries with the only difference being the vast amount of porn readily available today due to the internet. porn existed before photography. people have been fantasizing and masturbating since the beginning of time. both women and men. i first stumbled upon porn in my grandparents house as a young man.i guess my grandpa had quite the appetite. he had seven children and liked to look at porn pretty frequently i suppose. i remember catching him watching racy movies on h.b.o. as a young man and him being embarrassed about being caught. i never caught him stroking himself or anything like that. that would just be too much. i’d be willing to gamble that he watched those movies and then took out the result on my grandma.ouch that’s a hard thing to type. do you think my grandma suffered as a result of his porn habit? i don’t! she may have actually gained from it. she is a devout catholic and they are still married to this day.(60 years)
men and women are very different creatures with women preferring familiarity and men preferring variety. this is probably the reason for such problems. that’s the reason women go backwards in their relationships at times. they go back to their previous boyfriends not because they were good to them but because they know what to expect. we’re always going to be inclined to cheat because of our design. that doesn’t make it right. thoughts and actions are 2 completely different things. women cheat too. personally i am loyal to whatever woman i’m with to a fault. that doesn’t mean that she won’t get boring. what can you expect from me after having had sex with you 1000 times? are you getting better looking to me? or, are you gaining weight and getting wrinkly?i don’t think porn is a bad thing for men until it becomes an obsession and prevents them from pursuing “real” relationships. too much of anything is bad with balance being the answer to everything.
to the angry women above: deal with it! i don’t think i’m very abnormal except for being honest about things. if you don’t like your man looking at porn then do the right thing and throw away your vibrator and quit being a hypocrite. just because you masturbate in the bath tub without visual stimulation doesn’t make you better than us. people like to masturbate plain and simple.
it’s not our fault that the media tells you that you’ll never be good enough so don’t blame your own insecurities on us watching porn. would you eat at the same restaurant everyday? i think not, so give us a little credit for sticking around with you as long as we do. they make new women everyday you just have to wait 18 years for them to ripen.
in my opinion porn helps us to stay with your wildly emotional asses longer.
to the women that said do it back to him i’d advise you against such things. 2 wrongs don’t make a right and you’re just going to make things worse. i am an extremely honest person and generally only lie if asked if you look good in that outfit. however, watching porn or masturbating are 2 of the only things i would ever lie about. so why press the issue. it’s a shame that the media lies about everything and sex is such a taboo subject in this country. thats why he have such weird sexual deviants in this country. think of how many men you’ve seen in your lifetime that you know can’t get laid. is it wrong for them to watch porn? maybe you should sleep with one of them so they don’t have to go rape some girl. people get all freaked out about sex in this country and that’s how we got here. we’re here because our parents did “the nasty” so lighten up.
i don’t know you can ever prevent your man from masturbating, can we prevent you from shopping? i would almost equate those two acts because they probably bring us the same amount of joy: you and your “on sale” feel and us with our ejaculate.
it’s too bad that by the time you reach your sexual peak you’re starting to develop wrinkles. that’s not our fault. some women never look good in their entire lifetime and others only for a decade or less with very few women looking attractive their entire life. men are visually stimulated so you’re getting a raw deal from the start. sorry that’s life. you get the joy of giving birth and we get lifelong good looks. that’s why sean connery and george clooney made the best looking men list well into their 50′s any woman that age that would make those lists is probably into plastic surgery or just very lucky. women wear makeup men don’t.
anyway you’ll never be able to prevent your man from watching porn short of locking him in the basement so save your energy. men watch porn because you can’t be an asian girl today and a russian girl tomorrow much less twins. if theres anything you’re not willing to do in bed then you need to broadens your horizons because chances are your neighbor is doing it. you wouldn’t want to lose him to another woman so you need to be a “freak”.
in short you’ll never stop him from watching porn so come to terms with it and spend your energy more wisely, perhaps on figuring out ways to get him under your spell again.

please excuse my lack of capitalization and bad punctuation;
first off i am a man who has slept with probably more than my fair share of women(30+) i think, with great variety among them. i have slept with short ones, tall ones, asians, blacks, whites you name it.does that make me a scumbag? i don’t think so! i still talk to many of them. i do on occasion view porn and i think my current girlfriend has accepted it. she is 12 yrs my junior and i do enjoy that. porn has been around for centuries with the only difference being the vast amount of porn readily available today due to the internet. porn existed before photography. people have been fantasizing and masturbating since the beginning of time. both women and men. i first stumbled upon porn in my grandparents house as a young man.i guess my grandpa had quite the appetite. he had seven children and liked to look at porn pretty frequently i suppose. i remember catching him watching racy movies on h.b.o. as a young man and him being embarrassed about being caught. i never caught him stroking himself or anything like that. that would just be too much. i’d be willing to gamble that he watched those movies and then took out the result on my grandma.ouch that’s a hard thing to type. do you think my grandma suffered as a result of his porn habit? i don’t! she may have actually gained from it. she is a devout catholic and they are still married to this day.(60 years)
men and women are very different creatures with women preferring familiarity and men preferring variety. this is probably the reason for such problems. that’s the reason women go backwards in their relationships at times. they go back to their previous boyfriends not because they were good to them but because they know what to expect. we’re always going to be inclined to cheat because of our design. that doesn’t make it right. thoughts and actions are 2 completely different things. women cheat too. personally i am loyal to whatever woman i’m with to a fault. that doesn’t mean that she won’t get boring. what can you expect from me after having had sex with you 1000 times? it may be just getting good for you but i’m over it. are you getting better looking to me? or, are you gaining weight and getting wrinkly?i don’t think porn is a bad thing for men until it becomes an obsession and prevents them from pursuing “real” relationships. too much of anything is bad with balance being the answer to everything.
to the angry women above: deal with it! i don’t think i’m very abnormal except for being honest about things. if you don’t like your man looking at porn then do the right thing and throw away your vibrator and quit being a hypocrite. just because you masturbate in the bath tub without visual stimulation doesn’t make you better than us. people like to masturbate plain and simple.
it’s not our fault that the media tells you that you’ll never be good enough so don’t blame your own insecurities on us watching porn. would you eat at the same restaurant everyday? i think not, so give us a little credit for sticking around with you as long as we do. they make new women everyday you just have to wait 18 years for them to ripen.
in my opinion porn helps us to stay with your wildly emotional asses longer.
to the women that said do it back to him i’d advise you against such things. 2 wrongs don’t make a right and you’re just going to make things worse. i am an extremely honest person and generally only lie if asked if you look good in that outfit. however, watching porn or masturbating are 2 of the only things i would ever lie about. so why press the issue. it’s a shame that the media lies about everything and sex is such a taboo subject in this country. thats why he have such weird sexual deviants in this country. think of how many men you’ve seen in your lifetime that you know can’t get laid. is it wrong for them to watch porn? maybe you should sleep with one of them so they don’t have to go rape some girl. people get all freaked out about sex in this country and that’s how we got here. we’re here because our parents did “the nasty” so lighten up.
i don’t know you can ever prevent your man from masturbating, can we prevent you from shopping? i would almost equate those two acts because they probably bring us the same amount of joy: you and your “on sale” feel and us with our ejaculate.
it’s too bad that by the time you reach your sexual peak you’re starting to develop wrinkles. that’s not our fault. some women never look good in their entire lifetime and others only for a decade or less with very few women looking attractive their entire life. men are visually stimulated so you’re getting a raw deal from the start. sorry that’s life. you get the joy of giving birth and we get lifelong good looks. that’s why sean connery and george clooney made the best looking men list well into their 50′s any woman that age that would make those lists is probably into plastic surgery or just very lucky. women wear makeup men don’t.
anyway you’ll never be able to prevent your man from watching porn short of locking him in the basement so save your energy. men watch porn because you can’t be an asian girl today and a russian girl tomorrow much less twins. if theres anything you’re not willing to do in bed then you need to broadens your horizons because chances are your neighbor is doing it. you wouldn’t want to lose him to another woman so you need to be a “freak”.
in short you’ll never stop him from watching porn so come to terms with it and spend your energy more wisely, perhaps on figuring out ways to get him under your spell again.

i think its about how avalible women make themselves to men, a guy who has been turned down by women most of his life has to look at porn, he has no women for sex they wont give him a chance, dudes who have gotten women easly there whole lives have no excues they dont need porn women give’em whatever they want because they have money,big muscles,or the asshole atitude u all seem to love so much, but the ordinary nice guy he is not getting women so he uses porn, men are made for sex are libidos are stronger and one day there gone then viagra comes in which is why we love porn and sex so much my point is this, women stop hooking up with the jersey shore looking types of guys and give us all a chance that way we wont need porn at all if i have a women having sex with me regularly i dont have any desire for porn

MEN LOOK AT PORN CUZ THEY ARE LAZY FAT F**KS!!! EXCUSES EXCUSES EXCUSES!!! MOVE ON TO THE NEXT MAN!!! THEY DON’T DESERVE YOU THEY NEED TO FIND A WH*RE WHO SCREWS AROUND ON THEM!!! YOU SORRY A** EXCUSES FOR MEN, YOU AIN’T MEN YOUR PATHETIC BOYS GROW THE HELL UP!!! YOU MEN MAKE ME AND THE MAJORITY OF WOMEN SICK, BUT THATS OK I’LL LET YOU PAY MY BILLS!!! STUPID A** MUTHAFUC*AS!!!!

Well I thought I was married to my dream man.But for the first 6 years of or marriage he was caught.Whether it is looking,touching,kissing,watching porn. anything that has to do with fantasizing of someone else that is wrong.Don’t believe me…READ THE KING JAMES VERSION OF THE BIBLE.IT’S IN THERE.

I met my husband on the internet. Before we got together he told me he use to look at porn. This was in 2000. He was 20 yrs old. He told me he didn’t look at it anymore… I was like ok, The past is the past what he did before he met me I don’t care.
He moved up here in 2002 & we got married 2003. Sometime in 2006 I came home from running around with my aunt. I went to the computer & my husband was in the bathroom. on the computer about 20 or more pictures of naked girls.. I got angry at first… he told me he just found them on the computer & was about to delete them and they must have been here from my cousin when he came over… ok…. I will sorta believe that…. Then in 2007 I started working. When I got home from work my husband was working at the time I got home. I had a feeling he was looking at porn… so I checked out the history. There again were dozen of porn in the history. As soon as he got home I confronted him. He said he was sorry. He promised he wouldn’t do it again.

Now,its 2011. caught him doing it again the beginning of the year this time with videos.Also, Sence he fixes computer for people and know alot about them he knows of every possible way to get rid of the evidence.

This time instead of just saying I found it. I asked him… He lied to me for about 4 days saying he didn’t look at it etc. He kept telling me other lies & I would check those out & they turn out to be lies just to cover up this lie.Only reason I found it this time is because he forgot erase a couple history.Or now there is a private history on internet explorer or firefox that you can use & im pretty sure hes probably useing that

Again he promised me he won’t do again. I told him that what you said that last 2 times.I told him I don’t believe/trust him anymore.I asked him how that felt.I have told him to prove to me that he isn’t going to do it again but he cant

I have put on software to catch him but he found it & keeps deleting it. Now Tell, if he isn’t going to do anymore why does he keep looking for it and delete it. because hes going to do it again thats why but he says other wise

I feel like I am not good enough for him,that im not pretty enough etc.He says that I am if I am, then why look at it

Looking at the porn is basically commiting adultry!

I asked him how masturbating to the pictures was and he tells me he doesn’t & he doesn’t fantize about them.. Thats bullcrap

I have asked him why all the times he does it and all the excuses I get are lame to me.

Here’s the excuse he used

1. They are not real – Bull They are real

2. because he had many babsitters when he was younger – Yaaaa ok

3. To get ideas for us to try – Sure

4. Both Times he has said because we don’t spend enough time together – THAT IS BULL

5. Cause he was tired

6. cause I didn’t wanna do anything

7. He was gonna tell me sooner or later

8. He’s Expecting something different & it never happens – Ok So if it never happens when why do it! IDIOT
JUST LAME EXCUSES

And to make me believe his lies that he wasn’t looking at porn he had said the following

1.Believe what you want to believe

2. Get the fact straight before you accuse someone

He says hes sorry! sure you are. he says he won’t do it again. ok it might not be that day, might not be that month. It could be a year or two from now.

So if you hear any of those excuse above he is lieing.

If he really cared about you and your feelings, you wouldn’t do it!

And if he is lieing about this, It makes you wonder what else he is lieing about. Is he with someone else? does he want to be with someone else? is he actually haveing sex with someone other then you?

I have talked about this to my sister & his dad.

His Dad Response -We have alot testosterone(sp), we’re guys,getting rid of the internet won’t help he will look somewhere else.

Ok well I am a woman does that make it ok for me then if I got looked at naked pictures of guys? I even asked my husband what would you do I started looking at pictures & videos of naked guys. He just laughs at me & says I know you won’t cause I trust you

One thing right now he doesn’t want to test me!

My sister’s Response – All guys do it! Shes fine with her boyfriend doing it. Ok, well I don’t care that her boyfriend does it & shes ok with it.

I care that my husband does!! I refuse to believe all men do it!

But he lies to me about it again I am seeing a divorce in the picture. I have never lied to him about anything so if he can’t be honest with me then its over

I do love him very much but I hate being lied to!

okay, so u say porn is harmless and no big deal. If u are lusting over another woman and u are married or committed isnt that wrong

wow! to stupid people who amuse me. You are probably one of those sluts on those videos who doesnt respect urself or us women who are decent women. Im very grown up and would rather be single than have a man look at a nasty whore like u. Please have ur self checked out at the clinic so u dont spread what u have.

oh god, that guy above, odious, obviously doesnt know where to stop! this is the worst abuse and failure of realizing what comment really is… take your own advise ‘mate’ and find yourself a better place for your semi-scientific delusions… god help us if theres more of such kind out there… it’s a dating site for christ sake!

hey april, maybe he lied to you so many times because you obviously have problems with insecurities and did not handle finding out your husband looks at porn very well. you’re seriously thinking about getting a divorce over porn? a tragedy. think of it this way, imagine you had never discovered the porn… was your relationship impaired? was your sex life impaired? are all of the problems stemming from the fact that you are so insecure? if your husband loves you and you love him, don’t let such a trivial matter end your marriage.

why i don’t get, is this.

how can a man be

a) possessive as hell of me,

b) claim to be completely sexually satisfied by me – in fact, the most sexually satisfied he’s ever been with a girl, and his number is somewhere in the mid 20s where mine is 10

c) have me be…literally…the only woman to ever perform oral sex on him and get him off (i KNOW this to be true, simply by how he reacted!)

d) be able to have me WHENEVER and HOWEVER and WHEREEVER the hell he wants me (i’m good to go every hour of the day every day, even when sick or ragging) and have me constantly bug him about wanting it

and e) still look at porn, and when i catch him, say that it was a trap to see if i was spying on him?!

WTF. it makes no fucking sense at all that i fly my freak flag high and want him EVERYDAY and wear lingerie on a weekly basis, etc. etc. etc. and am spontaneous as hell…and i still find that shit.

makes no sense, guys. you really love your women, huh? be honest with ‘em. stop hiding shit. TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT. believe us…it may hurt us DEEP but we can move past it and not have it be a fucking tumor in the relationship if you stop hiding your grubby fuckin’ hands and just be real with us. we’re real with you – most of us bare our souls to you on a daily basis – if you love us and respect us the way you say you do, have the decency to fucking level with us.

all i’m saying.

STOP BEING DEFENSIVE AND GET OFFENSIVE.

Okay, here is how I see It. I am in my mid 30′s. I am a very beatiful woman. I have been a bartender most of my life and i get men hitting on me daily so it helps feed my ego.I have never had a man cheat on me or a man that regularly looks at porn. Maybe the occasionnal porn but not the daily or even weekly thing. I have never been exposed to it much. I guess a lot had to do with my ex being a drug addict. He didnt look at porn, but the drugs was his mistress. Now i have this new boyfriend. we have been togther for a year and 1/2. When I first found out he was looking at porn… i am talking every spare moment, couldn’t leave him home alone, i freaked. thought he was a perb. Now i am realizing how much that boys really are dumb. but i feel horrible. i have never felt bad about my body or my scar until i got with him. i am becoming extremely depressed. we are suppose to get married and now i am wondering if i should break up. i cant go though life feeling this bad about myself. i never felt this bad before. i am not an insecure person.

SO WHAT SHOULD I DO………Here are my thoughts.

1) i started dressing provacative and going out in public like that. even to the grocery store with him. He doesnt like that. I say that i need to go the convientent store barely wearing anything. Like booty short and a camisole tops with no bra. and he offers to go for me. He dosent let me out of the house. I am getting attention from him and he constantly worries about other men looking at me because he knows how the dirty mind work. ONE FOR ME!!!

2) I got some professional pictures made of me and some friend together. All of us nude. It was four girls but you cant see much in the pic. Its the imagination thing again for him.

Here are my new ideas. Thanks Xstripper for your comment above. But at the same time i really love him and dont want to do what i am about to do. But if i am going to break up with him over the situation then i might as well try this.

I really appreciate xstripper for the comment above. Afterall, i am sure you know how men work really well. so i am going to look up big cocks and whatever else i can think of that he is not. I am going to leave it on my computer for him to find. the bad thing is that i really love him and dont want to ever do anything to hurt him but i cant go on suffering. i would just rather not have a real relationship with a man. meaning just dating and using men.

another thing you can do is send him some of your own homemade porn. make porn and send it to his email or to his phone.

THOSE ARE JUST THE SAFE IDEAS.
If he is going to look at porn. I am going to keep on dressing as sexy as i can.. and yes all the time and start flirting with every dick that passes by. Lets see if he starts getting insecure. Especially if your hot and you know that these guy will flirt back. On the other side of that coin is that you could end up breaking the relationship apart. but then again why live in misery.

Bottom line is this. YOU ARE A WOMAN. YOU CAN GET WHAT YOU WANT FROM A MAN.
Make his chase and worry over you. i can tell you this. I think he has spent more time worring over me and trying to delete the porn on the computer than looking at the porn.
Stop being defensive and get offensive. Figure out what will drive your man crazy.

I hope this helps

You people want some honesty? Here it is…I look at porn for a couple of reasons. Initially, the first time I saw hardcore pornography I was 13 and I was captivated at a level beyond anything I had ever felt before. I had been molested when I was 9 so my exposure to sexuality was there I just didn’t know what to do with it. The molestation was male on male and sure it made me feel dirty and used and those were issues I would have to contend with but more than anything it introduced me to and made me extremely curious about sex. I had seen Playboys and Penthouse before and I actually saw my father and my babysitter going at it one night but when I first saw a woman performing oral sex on a man in pornography I felt my heart start thumping and my hands shaking. I was also extraordinarily aroused (the people who make porn know this about us-what a drug, you know?) Anyway, I of course couldn’t get enough. I then wanted to find that awesomely willing girl who would give me head until I was able to ejaculate in her mouth just like I had seen in the porn. This became an obsession that rarely came true, unfortunately. (Life is so unfair sometimes.) So I used pornography to fill in the missing ingredients I felt were necessary to feeling sexually fulfilled. I have not stopped using it for that purpose since then and I am now 43 years old. I wonder what it would be like if I had a woman who satisfied every one of my desires if I would still rely on it. I have been married for 21 years and I keep it from my wife because it is my own personal business. I am hurting no one (save the moral arguments, please). I spend no money on it. In fact, it keeps me married because I am realistic enough to realize that the girls you see in porn who do swallow are doing it just for the money, and I am okay with that. I don’t need to throw my marriage away to try and obtain the unobtainable-that would make me a fool. I have been caught in the lies by my wife but I still lie-I am just better at it. It is really none of her business. It would become her business if I cheated on her, actually physically involved myself with another woman, that would be the deal breaker. The truth is that women who are mad about porn are mad because they feel like some control has been taken away from them-these are the women who use their sex as a form of control and feel that all the world should be laid upon their doorstep because they agreed to have sex. I really resent the hell out of that attitude and, in a small way, feel grateful that I never have to be at the mercy of a woman when I “take care of it myself”. It does make me aloof in my relationship, it does make me feel guilty sometimes, but, I have a strong lust that doesn’t go away. It is unfair to expect me to go without because what I want turns her off. I will leave you with this. I thought of it on the way into work today. ask yourself why you are in your relationship in the first place. Why do you stay? Is it the sex, or is it the time spent that you don’t want to waste? We do what it takes to keep us showing up, you know?

I am a 34 year old woman. I love sex, I have elaborate sometimes twisted fantasies, I masturbate, I look at porn, I indulge. I understand what men say about variety. If I watch the same video twice, it wouldn’t turn me on as much. If I watch it for the third time, it will bore me and I would most likely be turned off. So yes, I like seeing something new every time. I understand the need for “variety”.

Sometimes, If I can’t find what I am looking for online, then I will close my eyes and play the scenario in my head. It will take time to get me off, but eventually it will work. When I was younger, I would sneak into my brother’s room to look at his penthouse or maxim stash. Cause like most men, I am visual and i like seeing sexy women too. Like most men, I masturbate almost every day. But unlike most men, I can have multiple O’s (sorry guys) which probably makes me more hungry for sexual stimulation.

My point is, I am a woman and I totally understand the urge to watch porn. I get it. But if it becomes a problem with your partner, talk about it and compromise. Be open about it and get her involved. If you used to watch porn everyday, make a sacrifice and agree that you will only watch once a week or only when you haven’t been active or something similar or even watching it together. I believe that everything can be solved when two grown ups sit down and talk like adults. Every person is unique I know, and we don’t have to change who we are at all. But when we commit ourselves to someone, we have committed to not only think of our own needs but our partner’s needs as well.

This is not just true with porn but with every disagreements and misunderstandings couples experience every day. I mean, that’s the whole point of being partners, you work together to make things work for both of you, you help each other out. It’s not supposed to be a competition: I am the guy, I should be the blah blah. It isn’t like that. These relationships often end in tears and millions of dollars’ worth of alimony. The best relationships that last and are meaningful are those of true partnerships where both parties use each other’s good qualities to their full potential and manage their bad ones.

Be open and talk about porn like adults. Compromise.

I just wanted to add that I’m sorry you had to resort to finding your man on the internet. This is probably your main problem: the inability to close the deal in person and I must say that if you found your man on the internet that he probably seeks out women on the internet for sex and companionship. You limited yourself from the start. What was it that drew him to you in the first place? Was it your double d’s or your wifi connection?

wow wow wow ladies chill out

we all just like to bust a nut

Everyone’s input is interesting by degrees. But the sick knot in my gut over all the deception involving my husband’s use of porn will not go away. He refuses to talk about it when he gets “caught” and we never get anywhere. He is obsessed with the barely legal stuff and he is in his 40′s. I find that disturbing. I am a sexually open person, far more than he is. I have a much higher sex drive than he does and yet find myself going months at a time sometimes without because he’s wearing out his drive on porn and not me! He lies about it consistently. He refuses to ever share it with me. To be honest I would not enjoy teen porn as I think it WRONG. But I am open to games and explorations yet he is not. I am a very attractive and sexually talented woman and yet he makes me feel like I’m not since I’m not one of his little teen porn girls. It hurts me badly. I’m confused by his preferring to use his hand and watch people he will never meet or touch when he could be romping with me! A woman very turned on by him and willing to do anything he would enjoy. It doesn’t make any sense. Why do men prefer to cling to porn when they have a real live warm and willing woman to please them? I feel like he should have just stayed single. I’m really confused and hurt and rejected by him. I don’t know what to do about it. I also worry as our son gets older and starts brining girls home that this obsession my husband has with teens could become something even uglier. He has in the past stepped beyond just the computer after he has gone long periods without being caught. It escalates when given the chance. I wish I knew how to handle this…

I agree with Another Guy in that most women here are simply retarded and close minded. “Porn->Cheating just like Marijuana->Meth”..you have to be several kinds of mentally challenged, or simply weak minded to think that’s the way people work. However, some are interesting, like Sabrina’s and Tara’s. The problem is, women today (and for a WHILE now) are raised in the dark, and so we grow up to be weak and emotional, and live in bubbles of romcoms and “love, feelings, insecurities, heartbreak, MUST BE WITH ONE PERSON FOR EVAARRRR OR MY LIFE IS OVER !!” bullshit. Most women aspire nothing more than to contribute babies to the world, while men fix, build and create. Get over the fantasies you have been conditioned to live in, welcome to the real world. It’s hard to break out of the mental/emotional weakness we’re accustomed to, but it can be done. I am an 18 year old female, and I enjoy watching porn. It’s not perfect, some of it does encourage violence against women, pedophilia, and I DON’T FUCKING KNEEL, but it’s opened up my eyes to so many things; the reality of the world and the society-instilled differences between men and women. (Or maybe, as the Psychology woman said up there, I’m just part of the 20%). Those insecure women agree to be humiliated, and no one respects someone who doesn’t respect themselves. Either way, it is stupid to critizice something you’ve only glanced at while crying and never actually tried on your own.. I can masturbate to Manuel Ferrrara, AND have a healthy sex life. Like someone up there said, masturbation and sex are not the same. However, to the guys that say it’s “hardwired, instinctual, NEED..” porn is a relatively new thing created by and for men, and as I have just shown, many women also partake (yes, on our own, not just to desperately please boyfriends and husbands). Everyone needs to quit bullshitting themselves and step into the year 2011.

i think most of the men and women who answered this article are idiots including the one who wrote it. Yeah i called you an idiot. The only reason i did not say all is i need not read all and caught a glimpse of some sanity further down which previous posters won’t have seen and others will ignore.
men masterbate and watch porn. Some don’t. they are weird or religious. not all men are the same. I believe further up a psychologist said men are different to women in that men need fantasies about others and women don’t remind me never to go see her with problems.
Women watch porn, women masterbate ALOT. i don’t want to be friends with one who doesn’t shes probably a bitch. i love my partner utterly truly would never cheat but i fucking love porn and masterbating. not because I’m not fulfilled but its so goddamn fun. i want to look at naked people doing creepy and insane things. its creative and fun and i like to masterbate to it. porn rocks its the internets greatest gift. any woman who shouts at a man for porn is a crappy partner mainly because shes sexually boring and low sex drived and vanilla for not watching it herself.

I am still sitting on the fence about porn. My boyfriend of three years does watch and masturbate to it. And I love him with all my heart, so I try to open my mind and view the topic very broadly.
A major issue that we have about porn is that he is not open about it. I think it can be healthy at times to have a little variety and visual stimulation. Just do not deny that you are getting your rocks off in the bathroom when you spend an hour in there, in the bedroom when I get up earlier than you and have me shut the door, or when I left ten minutes ago and I come back due to forgetting something and catch you with your pants unbuckled and a sock in hand. I just wish he would be more open and not view this as an embarrassment or taboo (major childhood issues).
As time goes on, porn seems to really get to me even if I am on the fence. I want him to be present and not mentally fucking someone when he is having sex with me.
He probably averages looking at porn daily. And he doesn’t even know that I know. That is deceptive on my part….
I feel inadequate and really insecure with our emotional and physical relationship when he masturbates to porn. He knows this but keeps doing it without my knowledge.
When do you say enough is enough? When do you find someone that will listen and respect you and not have to hide anything in a hopefully committed relationship?

You know if I am going to be in a relationship with a man who looked at porn, I would just as soon have him go actually screw the woman he is fantasizing about. Popping a boner to some other female be it in person or across a computer screen really makes no difference to me. Infidelity is infidelity in my eyes, but I guess it’s the human way… to make justifications for things we feel we can not change. “He’s just a guy” becomes our mantra–our cope.

I suppose the screwed up part of it all is that men make allowances for it and then women actually think “this is just how it is–this is natural”. Well, if every female on the planet went on a sex strike for one year, I guaran-freaking-tee men would find a way to get rid of the porn and bring back the sex!

I have had more partners who could not pop a boner or maintain arousal to the point of orgasm during sex than I’d care to admit, and they have all claimed that they have spent too much time with porn. Really guys, it makes the act of sex undesirable and pointless to most females. (And you all wonder why it quits coming once we’re married…)

Furthermore, I have dated more than a few men who voiced that they would have a problem if I looked at porn. Men don’t exactly like to think about their partner with their hand down their pants fantasizing about someone who has a larger penis or better abs than they do. And, rest assured, ladies, men would be every bit as insecure in relationships if they thought we were constantly getting turned on and getting off to other men all the time.

My husband’s porn watching turns me off sex. Then he says it’s because I don’t want sex that he watches porn. Hah!

Well he can have his porn with it’s “fantasy sex” that he says we don’t have.

I’m off to have the fantasy sex for real with a real man.

I don’t know about others but I watch it when I can’t sleep, when I can’t wake up and when my wife is not at home and most of all when I’m board. If I’m not at home I don’t think about porn or sex, so I don’t know about others they are different. Rather than telling your husband to stop watching porn the best would be to take him away from TV and Internet without him noticing, I don’t like it when girls r easy, so if u make it little hard for your husband to have u, it will make him want u more, but u must do what he wants but make it little hard. When he is watching porn and u r in the house then just walk in and pretend its normal and ask him to do something with u but not alone, woman just need to be creative.
Some say watching porn is not bad some say its bad, I don’t if its good or bad, but better than sleeping with someone in action, those people who watch porn usually think they r player but they r actually more shy to talk to woman even if they r 30 years old.
Another thing is that men and woman are different, woman have they value and you and your husband must protect that value, but men don’t really have value like woman, what i mean about value is being untouchable and pure. For example if people catch u with someone else, they will talk about it everywhere and everyone will think bad, but they catch your husband they will be not as bad as it is was u.
Please Note: I’m not talking out of facts, it’s just my idea, and even if I do watch porn I’m royal to my wife not just because I love her but because other woman scares me, because I’m always worried they might destroy my life with my family.

I don’t mind too much that my husband looks at porn every once in awhile. We all masterbate…men just need too look at something. Seems like the ladies who have a big problem with it have a husband who has a problem with porn. Every once in awhile I will look at too…and I have started to notice how porn has changed so much over the years. I understand a lot of it …blowjobs, anal, role playing, etc. However, things seem to have gotten very violent. All this hardcore “face fucking” “raping” “sleep fucking”(which is rape) scares the crap out of me! I have even seen child images on some sites…don’t they regulate these? Now let me just stick up for my husband real quick, I’ve snooped through his stuff to see what he likes. I’m safe…just ass, boobs, and anal. Um I don’t know what to say about that other stuff. Seems to me that it can go far beyond looking at beautiful women…if MY husband was getting off on seeing women beeing tied and raped or throwing up all over herself because of “face fucking” …that would be my que to say see ya!! I would like to know what the men out there say about such sites…seems to me the sites are pretty popular because they are everywhere!

So we are animals, but at the top of the chain as I understand it.
We are also hardwired to poop in a yard but I would guess most of us try to avoid such animal behaviors. As civilized beings it is our responsibility to overcome and prevail over instincts such as this.
If porn is a problem for one of the members of a relationship, then it is a problem for them both. The man needs to “man up” and do the right thing whatever that may be. If the members of the relationship are just fine w/ the added “spice” then fine. The real problems that start are that what is seen on the screen can become commonplace to the male and he will escalate to more and more deviant images. This sort of stimulus can very easily change the dynamic of a healthy sex life.
I see a lot of couples that “hide” other relationship problems in the addiction to porn. There is a line between the occasional viewing and self-stimulus to daily use and addiction. Each relationship is different and if this is an issue in your life….seek out professional help. This is something that can make a mountain out of a mole-hill or in reverse, can be swept under the table to fester for years with more catastrophic relationship consequences than most men addicted to porn can imagine.
Just remember to ask yourself the next time you go to type in a url to whatever porn site you may frequent…how will this affect my relationship with my significant other? Are you addicted or just away from your spouse for a few weeks? Why are you going to this site? Is it selfish or just harmless fun? It may not even be WHAT you are doing, but HOW….just take responsibility for the health and welfare of your relationship.

Okay so when I married my husband I dwelled about his porn past and always suspected he was looking at porn. I was always worried about it . And I was really mean to him about it untill one day I got curious and decided to look at it. Before you knew it I started masturbating to it. Women’s bodies are beautiful. We are both lds. So I felt dirty and horrible for it. I went to repent but I have learned thAt I needed to go through that temporary addiction to draw closer to my husband and to be able to relate to it. Now I’m so much happier that I understand. I was addicted to porn and felt like I had to look at it like 3 times a day and had turned to the biggest hypocrit. But now that I have gone to bishop and repented I have become stronger. Now I’m closer to my husband than I was before. When I was looking at porn I still loved my husband just as much in fact when I had days of feeling guilty or bad about myself I needed him even more. Love is more than sex. It’s holding hands and being there for each other an not being selfish.

Heres the deal, even if the guy doesnt have porn in front of him, hes making up some fantasy in his head and masturbating to that. There is absolutely no difference between what the guy is thinking with or without porn. Porn just increases the stimulation, and if you actually think that somehow eliminating the porn youre just going to have this guy neutered or only fantasizing about you youre dreaming. There is probably both a nature and nurture facet of this, neither of which you complaining to your man will change. Male dogs just hump everything until their neutered. As much as people (especially the religious ones) hate to admit it, we are just animals. The only thing that separates men from dogs is that we can atleast control our urges, but there is clearly a biological impulse to just want to fuck everything. The urges get multiplied because attractive women are put on this pedestal and men are socialized to be attracted to certain types of women and that having sex with tons of them earns us social status. If youre a woman who disagrees with anything Ive said, get a sociology or psychology or biology book and educate yourselves before judging. The women who claim that porn is ruining their relationship are probably the ones creating the actual confrontations. You have to understand that with women, sex and relationships are on the same mental/emotional wavelength. With guys, sex and relationships are probably on two different parts of the brain. The second you try to interfere with a man’s natural urges, you’re just going to get some sort of backlash. It might not be anything that you see immediately, but over time the guy is going to feel very trapped and probably passive aggressively try to retaliate.

Another aspect of this that women overlook is just the habitual aspect. If a guy has been looking at porn since his teenage years, its probably going to be hard to change that pattern of behavior. If you think its just that easy to stop, pick something that you somewhat enjoy on a regular basis and just stop just because im telling you to. If you drink coffee, stop. If you watch a certain show, stop. If you just read that and thought to yourself “im not going to stop that thats ridiculous” or you just ignored that altogether, you just proved my point.

I am a woman who just discovered porn. My late husband viewed it over our long happy marriage but not to excess so we never talked about it–figured it was a guy thing. my boyfriend now introduced me and I became like a woman obsessed….really into it and all that is available…we started by watching together, but I became too obsessive—liked it too much, and after awhile when I would try to show him some he was not interested—we make love dailey have a great sex life and porn just kept me on 24/7….we finally decided I needed to learn control….and I have finally gotten to the ppoint where i only spend a few minutes a day—checking out what is new—this is to tell you that women can develop an addiction also if not careful….and women tend to act on their fantasies too i think as much or more than men. and men, when they run across a woman who has a large appetite for porn—usually don’t like it so much—one night i brought a lesbian hot movie thinking he would enjoy it—but he seemed bored after a bit and even said—i would enjoy this if you didn’t like it so damn much—-funny huh..

I’m a newlywed and had made some “discoveries” on our home computer recently. My first thought was a little judgemental thinking that maybe I wasn’t enough for him, but I decided the best way for us to handle this porn thing was for me to get invovled with it. Not try to shame him or fight him about it. He was ashamed when I asked him about it, but I told him not to be embarrassed because it’s natural for men to look at porn and he should feel comfortable in all his intimate details with me. I told him I would prefer to share in his porn interests. He does look at women that are very different to me, but it doesn’t really bother me because I am a confident woman. I make sure to make him feel completely comfortable with porn. I tell him it’s Ok to fantasize and i’ll even let him pretend while I hide under the desk to please him. I have a very happy husband and he is very loving and loyal to me. I also find that this gets me hot as well so I encourage women to really share with their husbands. We have become so close because we share the most initmate details with each other.

And another thing to you men (who need porn for the fantisy) you need to understand that women feel threatend by porn. How does any guy feel when his women tell him she rather her dad fix her car because frankly he is the better mechanic? Or the neighbor guy should look at whats wrong with my computer becuase honestly I think he understands the problem better? And whats wrong with letting a guy buy me a drink when I’m out for girls night? Whats wrong is men feel threatened. They feel that another man is providing something he can’t. He feels EMASCULENTED right? Women feel the same way. It makes us feel like less of a women when our men climexing to another womens image. If there is any man who would not be hurt if his gf/wife straight out told him he was not good at home repairs, fixing cars or he did not make enough money then there is probably some women out there who do not feel threated by pornography.

And if the eternal batte will be us woment just don’t get it. Then men stop bitching about your women complaining all the time, why she is buying $200 jeans and why she needs to talk about her feelings so much. If the guy I was with was about to LEAVE me because I would not stop buying shoes, clothes and make-up then I would change or at least reconize that my behavior is causing negative consequences . The biggest problem with porn in my last relationship is he constantly tried to justify his behavior no matter how upset I was. He didnt want to change we just wanted me to accept that porn is the facts of life. And more heart breaking me wanted me to accept that pornography was such an important part of his life he would not give it up. In the end he would rather end the relationsip then put down his pride and admit that it was causing us to tear apart.

Porn is for perverts, pathetic, lost and spiritually bankrupt individuals. The reason people hide it is their little bit of conscience telling them it is wrong. There is nothing normal about it. Indulging in one of the most discusting forms of lust degrades and diminishing the beauty of love and sex between a married man and woman from what it was created to be. Of course I see the comments made that try to justify looking at porn as normal. You should be concerned about you spouses character if that is what they are into. What else do they think about, and how do they behave when no one is watching. It doesnt surprise me that people think its normal in the world we live in.
A so called friend needed a place to stay, so we helped him out until he showed us he was just a user for free rent and utilites. We threw him out today because he proved he is a scumbag who sleeps all day and refused to get a job. I came on this site to see what feeds his sick mind and if he is ill enough to come back and hurt me with a sexual crime. It is a good thing I cleaned up the room he stayed in, which belonged to my 11 year old child. The A hole could have damaged my child if my child found the unwelcomed visitors porn mag under the sheets. Women, you are kidding yourselves if you think this activity is normal. What would Jesus think about it. There is where you will find your answer.

With the way all these ignorant women have been responding (save for an intelligent few), I wouldn’t be surprised when their man wants a break from them every once in a while.

With your self-righteous, controlling, jealous, and angry attitudes, you should consider yourselves lucky your man didn’t decide to forgo women altogether.

I understand that men are visual and all. I don’t expect my hubby to try to think or feel the way I do. When we first got together, I could care less if he looked at porn. He made me feel like I was always number 1 in his life and that is all I really needed (was to know that I was number one and I always came before porn) After getting married and having a baby with this man, I find porn disrespectful. (which probably has something to do with not having the body I once had) I’ve tried to understand him and give him the privacy he needs with this sort of thing. I asked him if we could make a couple of deals about it (whenever he done it) and he said yes. This is what we agreed on:
1. No hiding/denying it
2. Looking at MILFs really hurt me since I was a mom so I ask him if he could avoid them categories. (I didn’t command him to avoid milfs, I ask him and told him I would appreciate it alot, and he said ok and that was fine)
3. He has got to treat me with respect and show me I’m always number one
4. The last thing was that he had to enjoy it with me sometimes.

He never kept any of our deals. I found him deleting his history to keep me from finding out, and he said that it is weird to watch it with me. (he has never tried it)

When he said that he doesn’t want to enjoy it with me any, it made me feel like he was trying to hide something from me. It makes me feel like he isn’t letting me in on all his wants/needs, whatever the case may be.

So we talked about it and I told him since he likes to look at pictures/videos, then I would happily give him some shows of whatever his wishes were. (solo, with him, toys, even other women, etc) (I would never get with another man tho) and I even told him that he could actually jump in on the action whenever he felt like it. He told me no and he didn’t like me doing any of that stuff. He wants me to act like he is the perfect husband who has never broke my heart and doesn’t do that kind of stuff.

When he told me all of that, it confused me and that’s when the heartbreak really started.

So, all you men that think women are wrong about all of this, tell me why you think my hubby is like this.
By the way, to this day, he treats his friends and his computer better than he treats me and our baby. He spends more time with them and everything. When me and him are intimate, he doesn’t spend time kissing me, trying to get me in the mood or anything. He tells me what postion to get in, get himself off, and runs back to his computer and friends. Why should i be ok with him watching this stuff when I’m not number one and he treats our love life like a porn vid. (get business done and move on with what you are doing) I don’t expect him to hug all over me everytime we do it, but every once in a while I would enjoy a few minutes of cuddling afterwards or a little more playtime before we start anything. And I would definitly like to feel like I come before his computer and friends all the time.

I’ve tried to talk to him about it but everytime I try, he says I’m nagging. Even if I just tell him what I would enjoy him doing to me in the bedroom. Why can’t you guys fantasize about your own women without having to watch any porn. Wouldn’t it be more fun to try new ideas or find new things to do with your woman without watching people do it on a vid clip first? I think it would be funner to find things out on your own, Keepjng you and your partner exploring with each other and keeps it exciting.

And when you say that guys can’t fantasize about their own women without watching porn and fantisizing about other women. To me, it is a turn off when my husband tries things on me that he learned from porn because that means that he had to remember and think about what he watched (the women) in order to remember what he is going to try on me. Explain that one!!!!!

And one last question for you guys, do you think our deal was that hard? (I could care less if he gives himself a release when he wants one or I can do it for him)

Mark, what you said couldn’t have been said any better if only all guys could say it like that to their girl friends and wives

On another note lets get a couple things straight for those of you who think its “bad” or “perverted” or “immoral” to enjoy porn just HOW MANY people are you talking about? its already been established that porn is arguably America’s highest commerce and E-commerce interprice. With that said its not hard to understand just about what percentage of Americans are into porn for men PH.D Rabecca Goldin has confirmed over 70% of men visit porn sites with in every month so at a ratio of 70/100 men lets think that sound pretty similar to religion ratio about 70% or 77% to be more on the dot, of Americans are christian for those of you who are saying its bad well…. you mightas well be saying to all of America being christian is bad because its the same ratio who are you to say a majority greater then your self is bad?

wow a lot of really messed up people here.. yes many female are very sexually charged as men, that’s a gender myth.
BUT.. porn is cheating… yup I’m a female and I used to watch porn.. hard not to.. like it was said.. its there it turns us on and its free and we can get away with it.. or so we thought.
Thing is, its not worth me ruining a relationship over.. people in relationships who still watch porn have issues, they obviously don’t put their partner as a priority….
Yes it is saying your significant other isn’t good enough…
But now as a Christian (with loads of scientific proof God exists), I am certainly not going against the one and only who can decide my fate! Not to mention, even the bible says it’s adultery (actually it says, even thinking of sexual acts with another male/female or animal).oh and addiction is not defined by if you watch it daily (yes I study psychology and I have a degree), …

Symptom: The Behavior Increases Over Time…Increasing behavior over time is a symptom. It’s not final proof. It’s a strong indicator if combined with other factors.

Symptom: The Behavior Is Self-Destructive…ex. cost of time and/or money etc

Symptom: It affects a person’s physical health…Many addicted people in denial will argue that their addiction decreases stress and gives them energy.

Symptom: The Behavior Causes Harm To Others (deception, betrayals, neglect, broken promises

Symptom: Addictions have a terrible effect on relationships.

*** “Most addicted people, if they’re honest and care about their relationship, will admit the harm they’ve caused others.” ***

Symptom: The Behavior Is Used To Alter Moods
“If you’re not addicted, then why do you watch porn when you feel stress, loneliness, guilt, fear, failure, rejection or other uncomfortable feelings?”

Symptom: The Inability To Be Satisfied By The Behavior

Symptom: The Person Tries To Stop
Depression, guilt, anxiety, fear, shame, apathy and frustration accompany addiction because they are nature’s way of telling the addicted person, “Face your problems or continue to feel miserable until you do.” In the final stage of addiction, the stage when it’s clear that the addiction was an awful mistake, many addicted people spend the better part of their lives:

Attempting to stop

Wishing they could stop

Preparing for their next attempt to stop.

The indication of addiction is the *attempt* to stop, not the failure to stop.

Some women have the attitude that all men are pigs and that women are morally superior. They believe in moral absolutes: drinking is bad, masturbation is bad (porn is the peripheral issue….the real issue is masterbation or “impure thoughts”….thank you religion for f***ing so many people up)

The same kind of people think that Republicans are good and Democrats are evil, or that Christians are the only ones going to heaven. It’s a righteous hubris that is destructive when turned on an innocent people. Yes, there are sad tales out there involving obsessive use of porn just as there is alcohol being consumed by violent drunks. Most alcohol is consumed in moderation by normal people who enjoy the slight relaxation and flavor of it. Most people don’t drink to get plastered. Most guys don’t masturbate to rob their wives of dignity and pleasure. They do it as a minor pleasurable diversion in a crazy world.

Fantasy is God’s gift to people, not a curse. But moral absolutists (ie. women who think men are dogs…which is the profile of a certain niche of women on this forum) believe in the DEVIL. The devil, My Dears, is YOU, with your white gloves and your holier than thou attitude. Give him a divorce and put him out of his misery.

The differences between man and women are just to great to try to analyze. For women sex is emotionally charged. For men this just does not seem to be the case. Men don not seem to have get that emotional connection from sex. My husband and I have enjoyed porn together for years. It can be a great pre cursor to hot and explosive sex. I have to say though, that it is hurtful when I find that he is watching it on his own. Mainly because he is sneaky about it. It brings up lots of stuff for me when this happens. All of the above questions that women ask of themselves ie:” Why does he do it alone when we do it together”, etc.. all apply here. I start to wonder if, no matter what I am willing to do, if I will ever satisfy his appetite. I get the fantasy thing, this does apply to women to. Yes we seem to be more loyal and reserved when it comes to our fantasies…they often involve our partners. But this still doesn’t solve the sneaking issue. Tell me honestly men, how many of you view porn behind your wife’s/significant other’s backs and also belong to online communities where you are interacting with other women? How many of you who view porn also have also pursed having sex with women outside of your relationship?

I dont know how to deal with the porn issue at all. It makes me feel insecure, sick, disgusted and im angry all the time. and on the off chance im not angry im sad and crying. Ive tried looking at it with him but that didnt work. a year ago i bought him a brand new EVO and now just about every FUCKING day he is looking at porn on the 350.00 fucking phone I bought him. he always says he doesnt get off on it and that its just for fun.. he actually said that its his hobby. i had an ex that used porn to hurt me and it destroyed me. now i have this wonderful man all except for the porn and he is destroying my heart and my self esteem, which i admit was low before i met him. I look at him and want to throw up. i dont understand how i can love him and hate him so damn much. Our sex life has dwindled badly and nothing makes me happy anymore. i am so depressed because of this. He fantasizes about other women and fucking them and i fantasize about slitting my wrists cuz im in so much pain. I hate my life.

If your relationship works with porn, then kudos to you. However, if I have caught my husband, given him a pass, told him how much ut hurts me, heard him apologize and swear to never do it again, he’d better never do it again. Even that first time its excusable, but now that he KNOWS it displeases me and makes me feel like crap, if he continues to do it, THEN its wrong. It doesn’t matter if “every guy does it.” If my husband knows I don’t want him to, then he shouldn’t. End of story.

It may be the norm for a man to look at porn, but I think it shows obvious disrespect for the woman in his life.
I just had my fiance leave me a little over a month ago because of his increased teen porn watching. We were together 10 years.
I’m no prude and have been known to watch porn from time to time with the man in my life. I wouldn’t even have minded him doing it occasionally, but I have daughters the same age as some of these young women he was jacking off to and it made me very uncomfortable as a parent. Even though he never made any advances towards her or touched her in any way, he got quite close to my youngest, pretty, curvy, daughter. He was always taking her places and it even got to the point where he would ask her to go places with him instead of me. When we went on family outings, he would always stick closer to her than me or my other daughter. He knew his fascination with the younger porn hurt me, made me mad, and he would promise to stop, but the promises always turned into lies. He started erasing his history on his computer, but I found some he missed a few times. Then the data usage on his phone was real high and I found out he had been looking at it when he was out. I like men and I loved sex with him, yet he always made excuses that he wasn’t young anymore and couldn’t perform several times a week. He sure seemed to be able to perform while looking at porn though. It actually took my place in the relationship, to the point that he couldn’t get it up any longer with me and sex became non existent for us, yet between his bottle of little wonder pills and the porn, he was getting himself off on a daily basis.
He went out of town on a job assignment, found some slut, cheated on me, while still looking at the porn on his phone, came back, got his stuff and left again. It didn’t matter that he hurt me as long as he has his porn. He has since progressed to what I consider REAL teen porn, the sites that really do show the 14-17 yr old females instead of the sites that have women dressed up to look like teens. The man is 45 yrs old, an OTR trucker and he sits in his truck and jacks off to this shit. I think he is pushing the boundary for pedophilia. The really creepy end to this story is that he hasn’t contacted me at all, yet he texted my pretty daughter and asked if she was still mad at him? The man really is a sick bastard and I think his porn watching has become a bad addiction.

I think different men look at porn for different reasons. I find seeing people having sex arousing. And kind of fascinating. It’s animal, yet we need the cerebral aspect to get aroused. I find porn that involves any suggestion of violence unattractive. I also don’t understand why people would enjoy anal sex. I also don’t find it pleasurable to see two guys having sex. I find women attractive, and seeing a woman enjoying sex generally is arousing. I do believe masturbation from porn can reduce a man’s need for sex with his partner, which may be a loss for the partner. But some women may not want to burden of sex with their partner.
For me, it can add to my arousal, which adds to my interest in my partner. Frankly, I am not able to climax just by feeling in love. It helps, but there needs to be a certain carnal desire to enjoy sex.
I think some men feel guilty that they take such pleasures. Like the way they enjoy sex is dirty because they are not focused on the emotional feelings. Relationships are continual, and so the feeling of giving because one loves their partner should be on-going. I would hope that remembering to be considerate, take out the garbage, keep a clean body, pick up one’s underwear, asking ‘how was your day” (and listen), keeping responsible about finances and basically doing one’s share of the challenge of living together would be more important than concern that a guy thinks two people having sex is interesting. It’s a matter of degree and substitution for the real thing.

You know what’s pathetic? I told my boyfriend that it bothered me that he still watches porn instead of just going to me, and guess what I found today? A porn clip, a few days after my birthday. You know what’s even worse? I have been wanting to have sex with him. I have been wanting to get off. I want to feel the orgasm. I have been wanting to get very intimate with him. He won’t even suck on my boobs anymore. Instead, he says, “No, we really shouldn’t be having sex.” He gives me a bunch of excuses. Every once in a while though, he breaks his own rule and has sex with me anyway, but every time he has sex with me, he only pleases him damn self. I don’t think he EVER sexually satisfied me. So then, should I just turn to porn, since my boyfriend can’t seem to satisfy me? Should I flaunt my vagina to the camera and upload it because my boyfriend won’t just come to me and make me feel sexy and valued? If any man out there is in a relationship and is watching porn, then they should have enough balls to be okay with their girlfriends watching or even creating their own porn. After all, “men” are visual, right? So if men are not catering to the emotional side that the women are looking for, the women should seek what they are looking for outside of the relationship, right?

If A man says he loves a women and is happy. Why do u need porn I don’t understand it. U can fanticasise. On me not about other. Women while ur with me..do guys Eve consider how a women fells about it

This makes me sick. Men who look at porn should learn self control. You are not a dog with uncontrolable desires. You are a human being with restraint. You should show the person you “love” some respect.

I have no problem with my boyfriend watching porn. The problem I have is that he only watches asian porn. I don’t necesarilly want him to only watch porn with girls that resemble me but I think I would more comfortabke with it if there was some type of variety. all of his friends are asian and his ex is asian so his obsession with asian porn is kind of alarming. We’ve been together for 2 years and I’m at the point where this might be what ends our relationship. Every time I see an asian girl I’m completely disgusted. I’m I wrong to feel this way or to be concerned?

my man looks at porn and I believe he prefers to masturbate over having sex because it’s less work and he has realized he doesn’t get a lot out of sex. He is 5 out of 5 stars in every other category (note: he is very affectionate and loving to cuddle and I have zero doubt he adores me). The thing is, I am sexual. I want to express myself sexually in a primal way and this is not possible with him very often; he’s said he doesn’t really get much from sex over and above what he gets from being around me, cuddling, etc. orgasms through masturbation or sexual play are the same for him (from his mouth) and they are about release more than pleasure. He tries to please me with sex because he wants to please me – he has stated that makes him happy – but the problem is, I am pleased by having a primal connection with someone. Being pleased by his effort is nice, but I want sex where we are not thinking, just doing. I’ve raised my concern with him and he is pretty awesome because he’s so honest. I would never cheat on him. I have been considering asking him for an open relationship though:

So my question to men is: would you be okay if your woman wanted to be with you 100% but wanted primal sex every once in awhile with another man? The agreement would be that you could jerk off to your hearts content in any way that made you happy, you could have sex if you wanted to, but were not expected to. In every other way you would be in the relationships, such as being affectionate, contributing, spending time together.

As pointed out, men fantasize about other women and women probably don’t about men, because women and men are different. If you want women to accept men’s needs as normal and acceptable, why can’t you accept a woman’s needs to have a physical relationship with a man other than the man she wants to be with?

Curious.

I don’t mean to start another argument here. I’m a younger lad not married.. but i have been with the same woman for numerous years.. we’ve been up and down in our relationship and I don’t believe any of the problems we had in our relationship were because of my watching porn.. In fact I was open with my girlfriend telling her that I watch porn and she didn’t seem to mind it at all. I wouldn’t think to hide it from her. I understand there is a problem with porn addiction because I listen to Dr. Drew on Love-line almost all the time. It does seem pretty serious and I do believe it can destroy relationships.. I’m sure any guy would agree watching porn for 6 hours in a day every day is pretty aggressive. In my case and this might seem confusing to many .. and really I think its quite odd myself.. I myself do not Masturbate while watching porn.. I’m not sure if that’s a bad thing but from what my guy friends say its pretty F’d up.. I don’t know why I just don’t feel the urge to pull out my junk and go to town to a digital screen .. The shower to me seems more suitable and its less of a mess.. I think that being open with your partner and not hiding such things would be a better decision made by many men.. I for one know and have heard how and why men cheat after listening to man chat spending almost my entire life in a hockey dressing room.. Some dudes are pricks.. they just are not faithful men .. whether its how they were brought up .. or problems in their relationships.. they just cheat.. there are so many other reasons why men cheat .. there are so many men that watch porn and don’t cheat.. Men and women are different .. I still try to figure out why my girlfriend gets upset for the most absurd reasons.. but I guess I’ll just never know.. lets say men do cheat because of porn.. and its all because of our imagination which I hope we never lose.. Why do women cheat.. ? Let’s use our imagination and find an answer for that…

guess i’m not quite done sharing. i live in a small town, where, SURPRISE! one can find mags for men on nearly every shelf, but do you think ONE store would sell playgirl? why the “f’ not? couple reasons i can think of: 1. the old “double standard”, but really 2. majority of women i know, just wouldn’t buy it. we are happy with the image of our men (and yes, dear fellow who was in disbelief that we masterbate to the images of our man), we do! (altho with all the naked female images floating around our home these days, i am starting to fantasize about women again.) NOT good for my man, or our relationship. anyhow, back to the playgirls magazine…if i could get my hand on one, i would tear the pages out, and tape them up on our bedroom walls, for the “in your face” visual, that us women have to deal with from our men, and society on a regular, daily basis. wonder how my man would feel, having me, while visuals of rock hard bodies and larger than life c*ck stared him in the face?
And to All the beautiful women in the world, girlfriends and wives..and that means every damn last one of you!…let’s try to love ourselves sincerely. we are strong, hardworking, caring, loving, sexual beings…without make-up, without being a size two, at 2:00 in the morning, up with a sick child…let’s not hurt our sisters of the world, by cheating on other woman’s men, cutting each other down, or being submissive to what we don’t believe in. Take care of yourselves, good women of the world…I love you!!!

I read this article and as a woman, I am bothered by the caviler attitude toward women in it. The author automatically discredits his own girlfriend’s feelings by telling them they are “unfounded” but at the same time justifies his own feelings simply because porn makes him horny. Kind of , “too bad for you women, shut up, men like porn, deal with it, you’re feelings don’t matter and anything you feel to porn is simply “unfounded” while my feelings toward porn are “right”.” It’s disturbing in it’s selfishness.

I am also confounded with the insinuation in the last paragraph about how women should feel secure because our boyfriends stay with us because the “chances” of a “nameless face on a screen” leaving her number for him on the bottom of a check is a no go. So men are with their girlfriends by default of some pornstar not being available to them? And that makes a woman feel secure or good how?

I also don’t live in a world where men are only “entertaining a little fantasy NOW and THEN.” I see men that are looking at porn more than their own fathers ever did. I see men that are asking their partners to do things that have nothing to do with her pleasure but are about something he saw in porn. I see alot of men today that are disconnected from real women. And instead of spending time learning about real women, they will instead turn on a fake video of fake women performing fakely.

Men are really becoming drones to porn to the detriment of treating their real life partners with kindness, integrity and love.

The fact is, it’s not enough anymore for men to say “ I love my girlfriend/wife” and that should be good enough to excuse any behavior. Sometimes men love their partners and physically cheat on them too. The fact that you love your partner and look at porn is not really the issue or a justification to look at porn.

And no, I would not rather my only options in a relationship with a man be that he A) only thinks about cheating on me with other women who are everything I am not and masturbate to all the hot women he wants to bang despite being tired to me or B) physically does cheat. This seems to impy that men are only capable of either cheating on their partners or thinking about cheating on their partners. That is not really a positive outcome for men or women. And that’s what relationships should be about.

I’m sorry but men today are becoming way too obsessed with porn. They are placing pressure on their real life partners to do things they see in porn. To act more like “porn stars”. female sexuality is not being celebrated. A cartoon projection of female sexuality is being pedaled while millions of men with gf, wives, daughters and mothers are eating it up and then telling women their own feelings are “unfounded”.

There are simply things a woman can do that make a man feel demasculinized. And there are simply things a man can do that make a woman feel defeminized. I suspect porn is one of those things for a lot of women that take way her own unique beauty that he should be celebrating instead of looking for all the kinds of beauty she isn’t.

well if women didn’t have such an interest and making money anyway they can wether it be sex , stripping,online porn etc men wouldn’t have such easy ways to view this i know there will always be girls out there to do this …these girls have no shame as the stripper pointed out on an earlier post she enjoyed playin men and gettin what she could from them ..shows she has no care for the wife and or family sittin up waiting got their dad to come home..its easy for men to blow this off this is such a hard topic and no fix for it…ive been married over 20 years im about 50 lbs overweight and no beauty thats for sure and my hubby always looked at magazines then dvds then the pc ive always been furious ripped up countless magazines broke dvds even cut the cord to the pc …and for a while i didnt think he was looking cause we both work at night and are pretty much together 24 7 now we both work at same place same hours same days off etc….well i went to the bed i thought he was listening to his ipod and asked whats he doin instead of calmly shuttin it off he jumps up puts it in his pocket and walks away i of course demand to know whats going on only to find he had been looking at boobs online jeesh here we go again although this time im numb i didnt break anything scream or cry he has brought me to this point,,,i also know in the past that he has talked to girls online and im quite certain has had affairs but im to the point now i just dont care… at least he was honest about what he was looking at this time even though it took a coupla mins for him to be…. so together we manage to make a decent living by myself i couldnt plus im almost 40 and dont wanna be alone so whatever happens happens but i wish women would have more respect for the men themselves and the mens wives etc and this problem wouldnt be near the problem it has become today

The fantasy is everything. Succubi turn me on, but I don’t actually believe I’ll ever f*** one. Men will always yearn for something out of reach, that is human nature. Get off your high horses and understand that his love for you is REAL, and this other sh*t is FANTASY.

All i keep reading in the comments are how women think they own their man. A woman will never be able to keep up with a mans sex drive and MEN WANT SELECTION. My girlfriend is smoking hot but sometimes I feel like getting off on something else. I love her very much but i can’t fight my nature. I still check out other girls discretely (NOT FLIRTING) when i go out and always will. Women are beautiful and I can’t help but look. Does it mean I’ll cheat on my gf? Never have in my life. Yet when women watch their romantic tv shows and fall in love with their little vampire diary fantasies thats fine. Do i give a shit? Not really. As long as she loves me and I love her, and we can still have sex a reasonable amount of times per week I see absolutely no problem. Once again ladies, you don’t own your man and the more you tie the noose around his neck the more he will pull away from you. He let’s you do your stupid things that HE doesn’t complain about, then let him do his.

Honestly, I wouldn’t mind if my husband looked at porn, as long as he wasn’t replacing our sex life and intimacy with it. I totally understand that men are visual, and that they are “engineered” differently than we women are…okay, I get all of the reasons men look at porn. In fact, once in a great while, I like to look at porn, and I think mostly, because we go for months at a time without having sex.

But that still doesn’t change the fact that I feel neglected. We have talked until we are both blue in the face about this subject (about once every 6 months), and we have agreed that we need to initiate sex with each other more…but it’s like now we’re both gun shy about initiating sex, and it’s become the “norm” to just avoid it all together.

In the beginning of our relationship, I used to wear sexy lingerie, surprise him at the door after work, try to replicate the things that turn him on, and it all worked great…however, he never surprises me or initiates sex. It’s like he doesn’t even know how to really touch me or turn me on when we do manage to have sex. So after a time, I lost my passion for trying to make sex happen and be fun, because he wasn’t reciprocating.

I am not vain, nor am I trying to make myself out to be something that I am not, but I am a very attractive woman, and I even went as far as losing excess weight, working out and toning up…and yes, he notices and likes to comment and grab me…but it never goes any further than that.

It also sucks, because he works days, I work nights, and we can’t ever seem to meet in the middle. We are both either tired and/or hungry from a long day at work, then you throw in stress from work and situations in your personal life…UGH…I hate this. We sit in front of the tv together at night and become zombies from our long day.

My husband is my best friend, and we do everything together, by his wanting to do so…and I am perfectly fine with that. We joke about sex, we both share the same crazy sense of humor and we understand each other and can have some awesome conversations about anything else on the planet. Hell, we even work on our cars together, and he LOVES that I enjoy doing that…We just can’t seem to come together to have sex.

I hold on to a lot of resentment because he never tries to be romantic or shows any interest in making me feel good. I have to say, if it weren’t for all of the great attributes he has in showing me that he loves me and is always concerned for my welfare…I would be deeply depressed and think about leaving.

Now we’re in this funky rut, and it’s like we’re just roomates or best friends living together. I hate that. I yearn for that special closeness that a loving couple shares through intimacy.

My husband has even admitted to me that because he has used porn for so many years, that sometimes he is afraid to approach me for sex, and fears that he won’t satisfy me. He even says he has self confidence issues with his body and “performance” sometimes. He even mentioned that he is so used to using his hand, that sometiems that is the only thing that gets him off. I have always praised him and made it known when we do have sex, that I enjoy it, but that doesn’t change the way he feels about himself.

When I think about initiating sex with him, I tell myself if I would be the one to initiate more, then maybe, eventually, he would get a clue and reciprocate. But just the thought of me having to do all the work, and I already know how he is, I just give up. This whole issue has made me feel like I have lost my libido at times. And then I think to myself…so…is it always going to be like this??? Can I learn to live sexless and just cherish and appreciate the great things about my husband, and not be so concerned about sex?

Well…no…of course not…just like he can’t go a day without looking at porn. I have needs just like he does.

I just don’t know what the hell to do anymore.

I just discovered that my husband has been looking at some porn on the computer. In the past it has happened a few times and we have had a huge argument about it. I told him I don’t mind watching porn together but if he looks at it behind my back…it hurts me very much. To me..it almost feels like he cheated.
Here is the reason why I feel this way. I am 52 yrs old. although I don’t look it at all. I take good care of myself and think I am pretty hot for my age. I have a high sex drive and always have but I am devoted to the person I love. I would never cheat. It hurts because I try so hard to be this wild women in bed for him to keep him happy and then to have this happen…it just devastates me and makes me very angry.
I think if you make an agreement to each other or a promise that neither one will look at porn unless it is a mutual decision to do so as a couple….then this is a betrayal in my eyes. Why do men lie? why do they look at you right in the eyes and make a promise that they don’t keep? What they don’t seem to realize is that women are and can be very sensitive about this type of thing. It can make them feel inadequate or not good enough.
I guess maybe the man needs to think about how he would feel if his wife or gf was looking at muscular younger guys behind his back…how would he feel…??? I would imagine…he would feel the same way.

I too am dealing with these issues, and my opinion on this matter is opening…slowly!
B/F was a huge porn lover, and countless lies and clean slates later, I found the men’s light reading drawer in his bathroom at his work. It is an all male shop. I knew he would run across T&A now and then, but not the hardcore mags I found, Not his fault but my thought was “I guess i see why he was able to give it up at home and on his phone, never considered he got that stimulation in his work place”?
Reading all of these post in search of answers has led me to this:
1) Men on here that are berating the women. …first off, we are all entitled to our feelings and opinions. These women come on here to vent, YES. To know that they are not alone in dealing with this YES. To have a man intilectually explain to them why, without saying ” we are men, thats who we are” YES!!
The fact that you would de-mean them, call them names, and say that it is THEY who may be the issue, only proves their point that some men CAN be incensative, arrogant and ignorant pigs. Good for you, you proved their point!!!

2) Women have evolved since being just the “ape’s” (as one person mentioned) The apes that just get laid, and raise the offspring. Women are not that anymore, if we were, we would be called Lazy, or Gold diggers ect ect.. Women have careers now, we have families and responsabilities to our partners and a ton of us attemt and aspire to be the “porn star” in the bedroom. So if women can evolve from our “primal beginnings”…why is it irrational for a woman to think that men can’t??

3) Women fantasize,women watch porn, women masterbate, women dress up and spice things up for their men and women fuck their man like “a porn star” I say that loosly, no pun intended because who’s to say your own lady isn’t the best out there, or yes, the best you will get?

4) women have needs and fantasies too. Maybe they do not always look the way yours do. I do NOT agree that women’s romance novels are our porn, those are about finding REAL men, who know how to treat a lady. If we wanted to get an orgasm, we do it ourselves or with our significant other. Women do find other men, or women sexy and attractive, but God forbid WE act on it because we do not want our partner to feel inadequite or less of a man. We do not galk at a hot man on TV or in real life, for the comfort and ” security ” of our partner. We as women, Real women would never do that to a man we love. We would NEVER make him feel bad about his shortcomings. Do we love you still when you may get over weight or lazy or can’t seem to learn our needs, yes, but we do still wish you looked or acted the way you used to. The difference is, we do not feel the need to be so blatant and rude about where we fall short.
5) Women please hear this! it has absolutly nothing to do with you, how you look, what you do or don’t do in the bedroom. For alot of men, I belive it is…cuz it’s there, cuz the are running from emotions or stresses of life or becuse they are fraught with poor self esteem or self thoathing. NOT BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T WEAR THE SLUTY OUTFIT.
6) It is only a problem, if it is a problem in your reationship. Know your bottom lines of what is considered cheating to you both. If it is porn, or camming or chatting, then it should be a deal breaker.

7) Men DESPERATLY need to listen what their woman needs are in a realtionship.Secuity is a huge thing for woman, not finalncial, but that you have our backs as well as our hearts. Only when we feel that, women feel the comfort of breaking out of their schells more sexualy.
WOMEN nead to hear that it is not about you PERIOD. If there is no compramise to be made, then leave. There ARE men out there that don’t look at porn and are more than happy to have a real life women fulfill every aspect of their lives.

9) women don’t generally cheat for a brief sexual encounter. Most women cheat because they need attention, they need a man arroused by them and who think the world or them.OUR FANTASY!!! Bonus for that guy, is he is going to get a whole lot of fantastic, sexually charged women who awakens in her a desire for hot sex..and more. The husband or b/f on the other hand, is IN his other hand, making his fantasies come true. Finding that perfect woman that would tell him she loves him, and let him splash that love all over his computer screen

10) I am not advicating cheating, I am not saying that women, in the industry are not sad pathetic souls who are driven by the promise of fame and fortune. What came first the chicken who shatters his family life or looses his job for that egg or the egg who saw a great way to take his money???