Even if I had the Mona Lisa at home, I’d still want to go to art galleries.

Variety is the spice of life.

You post was interesting for my female mind. It is such a mystery to most of us why men look at porn. I liked hearing what you had to say until you explained that porn is some way of “fantasing” something you’d like to do but wouldn’t do in real life. Not exactly words of comfort. Basically what I hear is you guys like to think about F***ing someone else which if you are in a relationship I think is a disgraceful thing to do to someone you “pledge you love to”. How can you think of sex with someone else. I, as a woman, do not, nor do I want to think of having sex with someone else. It is not my interest when I am with someone important to me and I feel it is a disrespectful thing to do to your partner. So explain this to me. Why do men need to think of sex with another woman? Why can’t they just be satisified? It seems they always want their cake and to eat it to.

THE PROCEEDING MESSAGE APPLIES TO MEN AND WOMEN ALIKE, BUT MOSTLY IN RESPONSE TO THE TOPIC, “WHY MEN LOOK AT PORN” AND “WHAT WOMEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT PORN ON THE INTERNET”

Just a few emoticons to WTF!?!?!?!
All of the men that believe they only ‘view’ porn, of any degree, as an ‘innocent’ pastime, are as full of crap as a sack of manure.

After 30+ years (most spent sexually dealing with men/boys/etc.) of experience, (I am 40-yes, an early starter with a boy the same age) there would be a fed-ex box arriving at each of you’re domiciles with a huge wad of tossed cookies, IF I bought into that and know what I know.

Bottom line : MEN ARE VISUALLY STIMULATED, JUST AS MUCH AS MANUALLY: I DON’T BUY THE ‘it’s only fodder for fantasy’ LINE; NEITHER SHOULD ANYONE ELSE. (No, the BIG LETTERS are not for accentuation, only to keep the points seperate-for those to feeble minded/jaded by the chat programs on the internet).

1) Having married a man, who immigrated from the U.K. and LIVED on the internet (where we met, in 2000 and STILL together), I know just how anyone can ‘convince ‘ themselves that “It’s just the internet, it’s not real!”.

He and I have already gone through the ground breaking, knee jerking, ‘OMG-WTF is that on your hard drive’, because:
a) I’m female,
b) I was the one that lead him into submission/BDSM,
c) I’m female,
d) My reputation, ON and OFF the internet is one of demure but nasty to include EVERYTHING in between,
e) I’m female,
f) Disclosure from the start, HE is well aware that I have the sex-drive of a mack-truck, (yes, even at 40-it’s only getting better!)
g) I’m female,
h) He’s a REAL man and admits that there are perversions that do ‘get his rocks hard just looking/watching’, but there is no comparision to the ‘REAL, LIVE, WENDY DOLL’,
i) I’m female,
j) Visual and Mental stimulation is what ‘excites us’ as a mamal, on most all levels. Just try to sit and watch ANYONE that even slightly appeals to your senses, as they disrobe or dress, allow your mind to wander and HEAR the call of the wild rattle through your brain; before you know it, MENTALLY your body has taken over and BOOM! You’re getting excited, SEXUALLY!
h) oh, and did I mention, I AM A FEMALE and I love it! So does my husband AND every person I’ve ever come in contact with, that has had ANY experience with me.

Played up the “I’m female” bit, to make a minute point; studies have proven that 20% of the male population AND 20% of the female population MENTALLY thinks like the opposite sex; ie. analytical and logical thought processes happen, for some people, on BOTH end of the spectrum. NOT JUST MEN ARE PRIVY TO MENTAL STIMULATION.

It is a hard fact, GENTLEMEN, that PICTURES and VOICES and PERVERTED ACTS drive men to a certain distraction, if not to a train wreck of hormonal overflow.

I’ve had to many ‘in real life’ and ‘on the internet’ experiences to know, “NOT EVERYONE IS REQUESTING MY PERSONAL PICTURES/X-RATED, JUST TO STORE IN/ON THEIR COMPUTERS AS FODDER”. I’ve been the 260 pound petite female and back to my original size of 175 pound, big breasts, ample curvage, sultry eyes, flowing hair and CHARISMA.

O.k.. So I am a naturally ’sexually’ charged creature; so be it. STOP TRYING TO CONVINCE THE PUBLIC THAT MEN ARE NOT, TO ANY DEGREE, EXCITED BY INTERNET PORN/PERVERSIONS OF A SEXUAL NATURE/VARIETY OF ‘ANOTHER PERSON(S)’. Stop trying to pass this ‘myth’ and lie onto the general public.

I’ll grant that there are a large percent of people, not just women, that dislike or don’t understand the desire for the ’significant other’ to fantasize with or with out some sort of ‘aide’, whether it be Penthouse Forum Letters, Lush layouts in Playboy or Hustler OR calling a 900# just to hear a voice on the other end ’say what you want them to say’ so you can ‘fantasize’ that you really are being ’stimulated’ the way YOU want to be.

Sure, there is the ‘knee-jerking, OMG! Is that REALLY what I am looking at?!?!?!?!, comparitive to printed pornagraphy, INTERNET PORN IS NO DIFFERENT! You look at it, SEARCH FOR IT, dig it up because:

1) you can,
2) it’s there,
3) most of it is FREE (monetarily),
4) the element of ‘can I get away with it’ applies,
5) and for (most of us); IT TURNS US ON!

PLEASE KEEP IT REAL WHEN YOU ARE DISCUSSING ANYTHING THAT MAY HAVE RELEVENCE TO RELATIONSHIPS, BECAUSE THERE ARE THE OCCASSIONAL (actually, majority of) READERS THAT ‘TAKE THIS INFORMATION AND PART IT OUT TO OTHERS LIKE GOSPEL’.

The previous ‘lines’ and b.s. are just the things that kept my husband ‘bound’ to the ‘fantasy’ world, had I not broke into it and suggested he actually TRY the ‘Wendy Doll’ instead of keeping her on the shelf; We now have a much more, satisfying sexual relationship, and are still learning to communicate on other levels and ‘be good to one another’.

After all, in this life, (as my old man said) “We just have to find someone that can put up with us, and us with them, and that’s about all you can ask for out of this life”. Of course I am in love with my husband, and he is in love with me, but we are both in love for a myriad of reasons, some as different as night and day from the other’s reasons; understand that ‘IF YOU DON’T OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND LET THAT/THOSE THOUGHTS OUT OF YOUR HEAD, THAT PERTAIN TO ANYTHING RELATIONSHIP WISE, YOU’RE ONLY HURTING YOURSELF’.

There is insurmountable truth to “the only STUPID question is the one NOT ASKED!”

****the previous message has been posted as a good will gesture and applies to all sexes****

WIFEY wrote:

Bottom line : MEN ARE VISUALLY STIMULATED, JUST AS MUCH AS MANUALLY: I DON’T BUY THE ‘it’s only fodder for fantasy’ LINE; NEITHER SHOULD ANYONE ELSE.

Simply put, it’s bullsh*t to say there is ‘nothing to why anyone looks at porn’. There IS something, and that is being modest. ADMISSION IS THE FIRST STEP TO *FREEDOM*.

Don’t be in denial, as living in denial keeps one from enjoying the simple pleasures in life.

Are you still confused?

If YES—>Go To #2

if NO—->Go To #3

#2 being, START ALL OVER AGAIN, from the beginning. THat means, sit down, part you legs, get a firm hold of each ball and PULL really hard so that you KNOW what and where those balls are and WHAT they feel like.

#3 being, SMILE! You just MANNED UP, and graduated the ….

YOU, my dear sir, would never last 5 seconds in MY presence. I’m what YOU and others would call a “MAN EATER”. And, I likes ‘em a bit on the ‘rare’ side. *wink*

I think all of this is a bunch of bull! It doesn’t matter what you look like, busty, thin, curvy, big rear end… guys are gonna either look at porn or cheat! Some will do both… you can have it all looks, smarts, wealth, etc., but men ALWAYS want MORE or what they can’t/shouldn’t have!
deep down under the fake mask they have up all the time for their partners… men are like dogs end of discussion!! It will be that way until the end of time and no woman can change it! Sucks huh?!!!

I came to this site trying to figure out how my husband and I can disagree so strongly about looking and/or hiding that he looks at porn.

I have always know he has looked at it, but he really downplayed the whole thing, now I am finding out it’s easily once or twice a week. I can tell from reading other comments that that doesn’t sound like much, but I feel so upset everytime I find out he looks so it seems like a lot to me.

I hate that he looks at porn because 1)he hides it from me so I wonder what else he is hiding besides just looking a clips on the internet 2)I feel like I can’t compare to the women he fantasizes about (I am a mother of a one year old and work full time for our company) 3)It proves I can’t make him happy myself even though I try so hard

Yes, right all men look at porn. Then they are all fxxxxg pigs. If a guy is in a relationship, what the fxxK? I don’t care what kind of excuses any of you come up with. It’s wrong unless you look at porn with your mate. It’s called honesty axxxxxle!

im mother of 1 years old son. i found out he is masterbating without my notice again even though he swore not to watch it again. he says porn is bad when we argue about it, but it seems like he is never able to quit it.

i read all the comment here. brains are different from us. men need fantasy. but it really gross me out.

how can i get over it and feel better?

Porn is fine – if the person “perusing” is open about it to his partner. If your husband lies about it (as mine does) but then denies it… then it is deceitful and breaks the very trust that relationships are supposed to be built on. There is nothing worse than a man that acts “innocent” but is looking at other people’s vaginas. In my mind – he is the pussy – pardon the expression. If you are going to be the typical “man” that men supposedly are – then just fess up to your activities and be the man that EVERYONE says you are. Period.

Most of the women commenting here are fucking retarded. Even after a female studying psychology comes in to tell them they are wrong they still argue. I’d divorce any one of your ignorant asses in 2 seconds.

Clearly, with this much disagreement, we can’t all be looking at the same situation. Viewing porn is not good or bad in the absence of context.

I would dare say that viewing porn as a substitute for participating in a fulfilling relationship would never work; both sides would be disappointed. One side would be busy trying to coerce the other against their will into doing something that they believe constitutes a fantasy, but in reality replaces a real live person with emotions and desires into an actor, participating in a show of sorts for the other. Whether or not the “actor” enjoys this or not depends entirely on what they were seeking from the relationship in the first place.

On the other hand, viewing porn in the context of creating new situations and fantasies for use in your own bedroom might not be such a bad thing, I would say.

To each his/her own.

hmmm…..where do I start…I lived 10 years of my life being an exotic danncer/stripper! My job was to make men horny and when this happend they lost all control and I have bought a beauitlful home,cars and just stuff off their pocket book. I modeled, I was nominated most talented and beautiful…and not in the trashy clubs….the high end clubs…I am very exotic and I knew how to work men. And honesty I can say I laugh at them. The reason why is men just think they have a right to look and fullfil their fantasies at all times just because they are men. They have no respect for how it makes the woman who loves them and takes care of them and their children. I am married now and this is how I showed my husband that his logic is a one way street. I popped open my PC and typed in Large Cock! My husband almost shit himself. Hmmmm what is the big deal I am just looking… pretending and getting off on a large fat cock ( that looks nothing like his willy) The look in his eyes and the comments to this day prove it is a one way street. And your right you can be the most beautiful women out there at the time and it wont matter. They always want what they can’t have and they have nothing better to do. In my spare time I anm getting my MBA,and I am a broker now….when we have sex I give him any fantasy he can think of…what ever he wants…and some things he never even new about…so why does he need to look at others??? Because men are shallow and they put themselves first always they think they have earned this. You women who do not want your man looking at porn do it back look at men who are his opposite that have bigger cocks let him know how much it turns you on then deny having sex with him….or insist you can look at your porn first so you can get ready…and watch his whole world crummble and then watch the names that come out his mouth to describe you. I have worked in an industry of men for years and they are not dogs…they just can’t stop thinking that they are priority and they have the right to do whatever it is they choose to do because they were born with a penis. It is actually funny. Men can not control themselves once the other head is thinking..if I could only tell you the stupid things I convinced men to do when they thought I wanted them sexually LOL. Then when they realized they had been played they run home to their faithful wives to feel better…Women stop feeling upset about your man and his porn do something about it teach him how it feels. That is the only way they figure it out. Women are beautiful intelligent and we are better then men we care about how someone we love feels and we are humble enough to stop whatever it is that hurts our partners. And we won’t miss it because our lovers always come first. And there is no porn out there that can make me explode like my lover can when we are so committed to each other and our sex becomes our own porn our fantasy together that is what sex and erruptions are about. But sadly men are so insecure about them selves as a man they turn the computer on and jack off to someone that does not have an opinon not a fantasy …..an opinon. Women I stopped stripping becasue I got so sick of knowing I was hurting other women…at first i figured if she was dumb enough to stay with him ….but in actuality all men are like this and it is not the womans fault. One day we will be released from our slavery to mans idiocy and ignorance!

It is the said cause of more then 50% of couples that fail with in the first year.
Many women see it as a sign that their spouse isn’t attracted to them,
they aren’t sexually satisfying their partner. They generally, and i think
naturally as women take it as, “you’re not good enough”. Rather it be emotionally, physically or sexually they feel inadequate as a partner.
Or they assume that their spouse is indefinitely a cheater. They ask…
– “If you are attracted to me and i turn you on then why do you have to look at porn?”
– “Am I not satisfying you in the bedroom?”
– “Do you think about them while your with me?”
– “Do you think that they are more attractive than me?”
– “Do you compare me to them?”
– “Are you disappointed that I don’t look like them?”
– “Do you watch them and then find yourself wishing that I would act like them during sex?”

For most men it’s not a matter of not being satisfied, disappointment, or comparison. Men are aroused mainly by visual stimulation. Meaning (heterosexual) men are naturally aroused by the naked female body, and lets be honest most heterosexual women are too. If men are seen as extremely sexual beings then why criticize them for being titillated by multiple kinds of
visual stimuli? If a man is happy with his spouse he is usually genuinely attracted to her. And when asked to define sexy generally the answer contained alot of their significant others characteristics not the girls online.

There are three main reasons that men and, yes even women, turn to pornography for satisfaction. One is to see their fantasies acted out, two is to avoid intimacy in a relationship, the third is simply to aid masturbation. Sometimes people look to fill a void in their sex life. For example they might be highly aroused by oral sex and their partner is strongly apposed to it. Wanting to stay in the relationship and still fill that sexual void they turn to porn. There are people that use porn as a way to satisfy sexual fantasies that they would rather not be revealed for reasons of embarrassment and fear of rejection from their partner. If they were to unveil their sexual interests it would be letting
that closely held secret go. Which would prohibit an unwanted amount of intimacy later ending in resentment, so they simply save that indulgence for private Internet sessions. Aside from the role that porn has in relationships people look at porn simply to arouse themselves either before or while masturbating or have intercourse. Remember masturbation is normal natural and healthy for a men and women, (remember many women masturbate to pornography too!) single and married.

Men are thought to be more easily aroused by erotic imagery than women are. While some men are unable to decipher fantasy and reality most men do so unintentionally. Many will say that it is healthy and some even say it’s needed that a man consume erotic material. It’s intense visual stimulation that has no limits or boundaries. Endless possibilities in his personal private fantasy world. And it is just that a fantasy a daydream, not an expression of preference in their real physical intimate lives. So you might be a women that daydreams about driving home in a fancy car to a big house with the picket fence to a perfect loving family. When in reality you have an average car and house with four kids that fight every second of everyday. Chances are that not even for 100 million dollars would you walk away from your family. The same as a happily married man isn’t gong to leave his wife for the porn star he just watched blow two different guys.

A mans’ brain is wired differently than a womans’. They are more sexual, point blank. Is it really so
degrading that a man is aroused by many types of women being that not one individual man was not
created with the ability to be attracted to only one women or even one specific type. They are more
sexual, point blank. If you have a Mona Lisa at home does that mean that you never again want to go to an art gallery?

Porn can be part of a healthy relationship, but in some circumstances it can hinder intimacy. It seems to me the underlining concern with porn in relationships revolves around the lack of communication, and trust within the relationship, not the porn itself. When it is viewed in secrecy in a relationship it wreaks havoc an all aspects of the relationship. Just the same the betrayal of any sexual act done with out the knowledge of one partner. It is also unhealthy for one partner to use pornographic content as a substitute for sex, however there are underlining circumstances that are an expect. For instance if one partner has a condition that is disabling preventing or making sex painful or discomforting. One partner using porn as their main source of arousement can also be damaging in a relationship.

So many aspects of this topic are just far too personal for most to have an open discussion about, even in their very own personal relations. I think the label “porn addiction” is used to put down a behavior that is taboo in society. Has the world become such realists that we find it astonishing that one finds enjoyment in fantasy? Have we, as a nation become so insecure that we shame our own human nudity and claim that they very sexual acts we were created to do are disgusting and degrading to women? Yes, every erotic women is undoubtedly someones daughter, but more importantly she is an individual who for what ever reasons made her own choices. And who is one to judge another?

It is a subject that is portrayed as black and white by society yet vibrant with color. In revealing ones true thoughts on the issue is in essence revealing the many personal, intimate, sexual desires that are openly deemed as immoral and perverse by society.

I am sorry when you sit there and fantasize about other women you are cheating. If you love your wife, gf, partner you would out of respect not look at the porn or any naked women on the interent. Plus sometimes this can lead to acting it out in real life. I have been through pure hell with my husband and his porn addiction. Now he is looking at all kinds of women and girls. I take care of him and run after him and wash his clothes, make his meals, put up with his shit and take care of my self so he won’t have to look at other women, but like most men he is a pig. I think that porn should be banned from the internet and that the internet should be censored as all boardcasting such as television is. Women who pose for these pictures are whores and the magazine companies and internet web sites should be shut down for exploitation of women.

I have been with my wife for over 3 years. the first 6 month or so of our sexual relationship I did not look at porn at all. Then the sex started dieing off.
It went from everyday or every other day to once every 2 weeks. Then i went back to looking at porn. She doesn’t want sex as often as I do so I could either:

A: ask her for sex all the time which would just make her mad and I would get it less than I already do

B: Look at some porn and take care of it myself.

On the other hand when I know we are going to have sex (it takes me a long time to achieve orgasm and sometimes this leaves her very sore) I view some porn as a primer. It gets everything going for when the happiness begins.

I have a very high sex drive if I do not have a release then I get blue balls in 3 to 4 days.

There is no one reason why people do something. Your husband looks at porn for one reason, and her husband looks at porn for another.

Why do men like sports. I personally can’t stand them but it appears to be something many people want to do.

For you women that say women never do such things, you need to readdress your view on the world. Just go to your local restaurant and sit by a group of women on their girls night out and listen to the running commentary on the waiter or that guy over their or this guy at work. They are far more graphic and disgusting than any man I know.

I know many men look at porn, but isn’t there a difference between porn sites and escort sites? My boyfriend said he has been looking at the site for years and not to worry. We’ve been together almost a year and when I found out we weren’t having sex only 2 times a month for the last three months and before that it was everyday. We live together and I am 90% sure he isn’t cheating but if you asked me a few months ago if he was looking up escorts online I would of said no way. I since have tried to figure out why he looks up escorts and have looked up male escorts and female escorts online. It isn’t exciting or sexually stimulating for me at all. I can’t see myself masturbating to any of these images the only thought that came to my mind was loneliness.
I asked my boyfriend why he looks at porn and he told me it’s easier to jerk off and takes less time than to have sex. I don’t have sex on my period but that is only one or two days. He tells me he jerks off during those times also.

It is difficult to understand how the brain works…but definately, typically men and women approach things from different perspectives. I have decided I cannot rationalize something my boyfriend does from my point of view and to feel hurt over something like porn. It is hurtful for some of us and yes it bothers me…but at the end of the day I still have to be happy.

if you are with someone, SHE should be your fantasy. not some trashy sluts you dont even know. that hurts. and youre selfish.

To the men….

I’m trying to be understanding to my man and I wonder…

If you are in a committed relationship, what is the norm for how often you look at porn?

I have a question….If I want sex all of the time and I have verbally announced this to my boyfriend of a year and a half…why is he looking at porn when I live with him and am always ready for sex? It is the number one problem in our relationship (that i dont think we have sex enough) so why if i complain about not having enough sex is he turning to porn….anyones thoughts will be appreciated

I didnt read all people post here…. Im married 1 1/2 yr i love sex, i think that maybe more than my husband, i like porn as my husband… and when we are together watching it, i see at anything he would like to see… but sometimes he does that alone, and i feel bad about it…. is that normal?! I’ve been thinking about going to a phycologist bcs i feel insecure/worry all the time about what if he cheat on me… what if he prefers another woman, etc… when we got married i gain some weight, like 25 pounds and i felt so unsexy and so ugly that i got into a diet and now im @ 122 pounds, and i’m like when we first meet, i feel good, pretty and sexy, but i still feeling unsecure about what he could do… and then i feel soo stupid bcs he never had gave me any reason to feel this way. I when he watch porn alone, i hate when he talk to a pretty girl, and we went to a halloween party and i saw him staring at other girl… he was fucking staring, not looking like u can look a girl who is pretty that passed by, as its normal…. and we talked about it, but im not feeling completely good…. anyway, i just needed to say it/write it… i think i should just go to a dr or something…

i’d also like to know why this hurts so much….it upsets me so much that i could cry all night about it..how lame is that..

TO MY HUSBAND: You are a f@@*ing asshole. How do you give yourself permission to cheat on a relationship that is based on trust? How can I trust you, when you do things that are deceiving? If you believe that pornography is acceptable, then why would you find it necessary to hide it? To me, marriage means complete commitment and requires complete honesty. Being a man, means “manning” up. It doesn’t mean that you get to blame it on someone else because they gave you the website. It doesn’t mean that you turn the volume down on the computer, so that you can hear your wife coming down the stairs, and shut it off so that you get to avoid an argument. Being a man, means owning your own, even if it produces results that you many not want. People need to face the consequences of their behaviors and the decisions that they make, although the results may include negative impacts on their marriage. You can’t just take out of marriage what benefits you. It doesn’t mean that you just get to take the perks. Marriage includes sacrifices, a two way commitment.
If porn is a normal activity, then why would you hide it? If you really believe that it is okay, why would you have to hide it from me, and why would you have to look at it at night when no one can catch you doing it? If pornography is normal, why would you throw out the pictures of all the Asian and black girls that I printed up from the website you were on, with their breasts and assholes exposed; their phone numbers prompting phone calls and a late night in house massage?
How could you honestly feel if you caught your wife looking at naked men? How would you feel if you found out that your wife was fucking other men? Porn to women, is similar to men fucking other ladies. It makes us feel like we are not good enough for you. Why would you want to make us feel like we are not good enough? If you love for someone, that should be enough. How do you justify being dishonest and disloyal to someone who has provided you with love, loyalty, honesty, cooking, cleaning, total family support, and availability? How can you substantiate looking at other women, when you, yourself, would be insulted if your partner did the same?

How can you look at pictures, and fantasize about women who are younger than your own daughters? All day long, that is all you did, looking at pictures of girls who are younger than your own daughter. It is so disgusting. Can you imagine a picture of your own 23 Year old daughters on Craigslist, erotic? Looking at the pictures on Craigslist, is like looking at your own daughters. These are pictures of girls who are 30 years younger than you. It is revolting.
So now I am faced with a decision. Do I want to continue a marriage based on dishonesty? Do I want to live a life where I have to check the websites you go on? Distrust is a lot of work, and marriage should not require that much work. Do I want to continually check the phone calls you make? Do I want to worry about your next step? Does the next step include extra-marital affairs or phone sex, or call girls? How long has this been going on? I cant live my life checking your work computer, to see if you are being dishonest about your porn addiction. I don’t want to think that you are cheating on our marriage, or thinking that you are fantasizing about some Asian chick when you are fucking me? Why would someone want to have a sexual relationship with a picture, when their loving and good looking wife is a ready, willing and available partner? Why would a husband sacrifice complete love and commitment for a picture of someone who he does not even know? Why would a man choose internet fantasy, when they could have actual and real love anytime they wanted it? I wilI never again, wear stockings to indulge your fantasy, when you want sex, so that you can get aroused (but are actually visualizing an image of someone else). I want you to want me as I am. I want to be enough for you.
I would rather have no one, than a disloyal, selfish, piece of crap.

This one goes out to curvish on how you hit that point dead on! Kudos to you. I feel the same way. I always wonder what he thinking while having sex with me now, and wonder why he is actually looking at pornography every day and only when I am working, and on my computer, not his! He is totally asking me to find it and make an argument. Is this part of his fantasy? I think the worst of my man is that he has now gone beyond just pornography but when a movie has a naked woman in it, he is all in tune to the picture on the screen, and when I do go to work the next day or whenever I go to work next he does a search for the movie + nudity. Why? Is there really a reason for me distrusting you? Why can’t you speak to me about it when I have brought the point up? Is this beyond a fantasy and more an addiction?

This is a degrading act to me, it makes me feel I am not good enough. A fantasy is not always ‘just’ a fantasy, it is soemthing that could come true and be real. Are you going to the strip clubs with your best guy friends on the weekends when you go out? These are the things I think of. Sure I would rather you look at porn of females I don’t know and you don’t know. But this does not make it right. You have successfully made me more insecure of myself than I was before, sure I am petite and I don’t weigh a lot, but when you look at that tall blonde, big breasted woman it kills me more and more everytime I accidentally find it on the computer.

Sure women have fantasies also, and sure some women masturbate as well. I am not sure if I speak only for myself but I think of a fantasy that involves my partner and what I would love him to do to me but am too scared to actually have something like that performed out. So why is this impossible for a man to do? You cannot fantasize about your woman?

Currently I am enrolled in a college human sexuality course, and I can say I have learned a myriad of interesting facts but the one that struck me the hardest and I wish I knew the complete study was that supposidly when a man masturbates he is thinking of his partner, but when he is having sex – he thinks aobut that porn star or something else. Men what is your take on this? Is this true? Do you guys really think of that kind of stuff?

‘Trying to breath’ you are correct we can get through this, and we are all beautiful! I am glad that I am noticing that most women are feeling about the same way. I am glad I am not alone in this feeling.

To the writer of this article, I understand your point. But I do not completely agree to it.

I know that its normal for men to look at porn but i just don’t understand why they have to look at it every single day. and why they have to master bait every single day. Is it normal to want to cum every single day? my husband can’t sleep with out cumming. and thats everyday. And i don’t get the fact that why do they have to master bait and watch porn when they can just have sex with their partner? So i guess he’s addicted to pornography?? thats bad right?? so does he need help or what??? Cause he’s spending so much time on the computer watching stupid porn when he can spend time with me and his daughter. Do men even think of things like that? Its so annoying. The fact that he works all freaking day and comes home just to freaking watch porn and master bait. wtf. I freaking hate it when he does that. What should i do?

Why would a man spend a lot of time looking at women online but not provide to his girlfriend?

My problem is that my boyfriend has no sex drive, and I think its because he looks at porn and masturbates regularly. I found a file in his computer that has one file named “Don’t Look” and then a file in that nmaed “That means You” and then one in that titled “ML” (Thats me…ML)Is this harmless? Is he entitled to his privacy? But anyway, it has really gotten to a head where i feel like my own sexual needs are seriously neglected and now i am thinking about breaking up with mainly a wonderful man. Hmmmmmm.

Oh, a couple more things! I have no problem getting a man. I never have, just from now on I will choose them more carefully. There aren’t many good ones, but this time I will be cautious. I loved you, I made mistakes, BUT SO HAVE YOU. It’s called forgiving eachother and working hard at it, and realizing things take time. And while the time is on our side, you don’t go and do it again you moron. TRUST, LOVE, RESPECT, IT GOES BOTH WAYS. God, why? I was finding it in me, albeit difficult, to make 2009 a great year. I have issues too with what happened and things I have done, but I loved you. I must move on though, I will somehow find the strength. I at least believe out of 25 years, most were good.

My partner looks at porn as soon as I leave him. I leave and he calls me and tells me he loves me and then thinks about downloading porn within ah hour of me elaving? That to me is not love. Sorry. All you men who think it’s totally innocent too and something you just have to have, well I am telling you – I hope all your wives and gf’s leave you. They desrve much much better than what you are willing to give. If you want to imagine fucking thousands of other women and not honour your partner mentally and emotionally, you are a smuck.

I am probably going to leave my partner over this. I cannot reconcile his ‘Oh I love you so much’ with him looking at porn as soon as my back is turned. I think there are better men out there who must still feel good about having sex with real women, with real intimacy. I am not preapred to compete with sluts.

If your man refuses to stop looking at porn when you ask him to, and he continues to hide it and lie to you over it, then you know how much he cares for your feelings. He puts porn above you, simple as that. Women need to state their feelings over this and not let men get away with telling you they need porn, like it’s air, like it’s breathing. This is rubbish. They want you and they want their porn. I have told my partner he must choose. I told him I will leave him to his laptop because life for me right now is horrible.

Men need to learn how to respect and love the woman they are with and to give up porn if they still care about their relationships.

The internet has made porn accessibility too easy, and for guys it’s like a huge cake shop, obviously porn is big buisness and they know how to draw guys in, it taps into the oldest drive in men, but it doesn’t make it healthy. Men need to see how they are being manipulated and controlled by porn and if they do want to stop ladies, then support them all the way. If they continue to hurt you, leave them.

Pesonally I can no longer be in a loving intimate relationship anymore with a man who watches porn.

It’s called human contact! I have toys too, and want/need sex. Take care of your business at home. That means your wife/girlfriend/who ever. If your constantly fullfiling your own fantasy, how are you going to satify the one you call your wife/girlfriend. you can’t there’s nothing left.

my problem is a bit more complex than some…i’ve found porn that my husband had…pics online he was looking at of naked models…stuff like that…and yes there was an argument…not about him looking at it because i like porn too…it’s that he does it behind my back…and he hardly ever wants to have sex with me…and those arguments never lasted long….but recently he was away on army duty…and i found out that he had signed up on a phone fling chat…and had an account with adult friend finder….with porn it wasn’t really bad because it’s just porn…but this site is to meet people locally….when i asked him he said he was curious…that every man wonders what local women look like naked…this is really hard for me to believe…i dont know what to do..it’s tearing us apart..not to mention he has lied to me many times over the past few years….how can i ever know he’s telling the truth?

I wonder why my man spends several hours looking at porn online, but we only have sex 1 to 2 times a year and it isn’t me that’s not willing to give. I am getting really frustrated. I have been with him for 8 years, we are not married, and I just turned 30. I am really beginning to think that I am wasting my time with him. He doesn’t even compliment me. He has every excuse in the book. His excuse for not putting out was because I asked for it and that turns him off so I quit asking, then he said it was because he was never in the mood when I was. Now he says it is my disposition and the weight I have gained since we got together. I have gained weight, but I do not think I am fat. I am 5′8, weigh 135 lbs and wear anywhere from a size 4 to a size 5 in jeans. Is this fat in a mans’s world? I just don’t know what to do. Oh and also , I feel like he is selfish. When we do have sex, he wants a blowjob and then it’s like wam bam thank ya mam. He ever gives me fourplay and says he doesn’t because he isn’t into that. What the hell???!!! Can anybody explain this for me?

i’ve been through the whole “he’s watching porn and hiding it from me” senario and got through the other side. don’t get me wrong, the porn isn’t the problem, the fact he was wasting money on it was. especially on the months where he couldn’t pay his bills because he was broke till his next paycheque, so i had to give him a handouts!
But once i made it very clear how i felt about him paying for it he stopped (fair enough i’ve blocked the sites to make sure, but he was the one that suggested this – just to make it clear i’m the computer “geek” in our relationship).
like i said before i don’t have a problem with him watching porn, in fact i learnt more about what turns him on and what his fantasies are – some which will remain as such, and if porn is the only way for him to “experience” these then so be it.
i learnt so much from this in fact that we now both view free porn after finding some great sites recommended by friends, alone and together – and if he texts me at work while he’s viewing at home, it’s a bit of a turn on for me!

i still don’t get why he hid it from me as he knows i’m really openminded and we have watched porn dvd’s before and have been attending a yearly “adult” expo in london for years – but that’s for me to deal with in my head.

i will say that the only thing i find truely unacceptable in relation to internet porn when in a relationship is viewing sex webcams. it is ONLY ok if you are single, no matter what sex you are so…
BUSTED2002 good for you filing for divorce, the nasty cheat!

just to finish – men like the immediacy of images and videos, whereas women prefer fantasy of a good story line. no women can say that they don’t have a film star they’d like to have a go at, so if we can fantasise we have no right to stop our men doing the same in their own way.

I’ve been married 8 years and I know my husbands been looking at porn since the day we met. Yes, I did blame myself and thought I wasn’t good enough, boobs were too small, ass is too big….crap like that. But when you really think about it EVERY man looks at porn. Men married to supermodels look at it, men married to a woman that’s had kids and gained some weight look at it. So you see ladies, it’s not about you or your appearance. If it was you then that would mean EVERY woman that is not a porn star is “unattractive”. And we all know that’s not possible. So just remember EVERY SINGLE MAN looks at porn……..so there’s no way you can blame it on your appearance.
I have to admit there are times I look at porn then go masturbate. There are times I just don’t feel like going through all the motions to get off. So I just figured my husband is doing the same thing….just wants to get off quickly with out all the foreplay and other things.
It’s just a fact of life ALL MEN like to look at whores they can’t touch. Just like I look at hot men I’d never be able to touch. Doesn’t mean I REALLY want to or mean I love my husband less.

Little worried, I know how you feel I wish i could answer that question for you and tell you something that you want to here but the bottom line is I am susre you are a beautiful women and it is not you, I have come to know that all men are wired up different then women and as a women we need not take it personal..

Linda, seriously, if you want someone to take you seriously, try spell checking before spreading your ignorance.

Ok, first of all, I am tired of reading all of the males who leave bullshit comments. I don’t know how many times I have heard a man give the whole “Males need variety, they need to look at other women.” That is such bullshit! You dont NEED to look at another naked woman, you do it because you are a pig who is just looking for some other excuse to get off. I am so disgusted at the way most men think. I mean, If you are in a happy relationship and are getting all you could ever want in bed, why would you still NEED to look at other womens bodies? I strongly feel that when my boyfriend thinks about someone else or looks at porn it is disrespectful to me, and it makes me feel worse about myself and my body. Like “am I not as pretty as her? My boobs arent big enough? I dont do that trick?” I think most women would agree to some point that you get a feeling inside the “i’m not good enough” feeling when you catch your man up to no good. It lowers our self confidence, so dont give any more “I need it” bs. That’s a load of crap.

Porn sneaking destroyed my marriage of 35 years. It survived the loss of a child and early infidelity but, though I am still married and living with my husband my marriage is destroyed. I can never again have carefree, happy sex. I can never again believe what he says he feels. I can never again feel proud of his morals or character. This is too high a price to pay for cheap thrills and fantacy.

I have read the letters from the distraught ladies who love thier pornography loving men and it makes me feel sad for them. Ladies you are not only the fairer but the stronger sex, this has been known for quite some time. That’s why you beat your heads against a brick wall on this whole ‘Why is my husband jacking off to porn in the wee small hours?’ conumdrum .

I will let you in on a bit of unsaid thing about men and pornography. There is one word for the reason men look at pornography: Domination. Men are hard wired to try and dominate. Most of us are thick as pigshit but that hasn’t stopped us going out hunting, eating, fucking and fighting for as long as we could pick up a stick.

In our polically correct, hyper legislated, comfortable, sedentary modern lives the biggest challenge a man has is to hold onto his job, if he does that he’s seen as doing his duty to the family. Only truly great men rise to the top, which leaves a whole lot of the ordinary men with a hell of a lot of spare time wondering what to do with themsleves.
The concept of pushing a button to enter a world of nubile, sex crazed vixens with their come hither eyes kneeling in adulation before the cock (the one thing that even the biggest loser can claim to have in common with the greatest man) is a twang on a primitive cord many males cannot deny.

This is not a new phenomenom in the legend of the siren song fantasically beautiful women sat on an island and sang out to passing sailors who were enchanted by them and could not deny thier instincts to go and get a closer look and to perhaps go and ‘Dominate’ them only to smash thier ships to pieces upon the rocks. Poronography is todays siren song and some men can resist it’s call better than others. The men who smash thier lives on its rocks tend to suffer from low self esteem. They imagine the girls are exclusively there for them in a kingdom of sex where they are the absolute ruler and the word ‘no’ does not exist.
The fact that in reality this is existence is impossible both physically and practically, i.e. Who’s going to do the monotonous grind stuff like pay the bills, pick up the kids, empty out the washing machine is not important. It’s simply that for those few stolen minutes leading up to that magical second the woman/women is there specifically for his pleasure, that feels like control or domination and that feels good to a man, especially if they are not large parts of his every day life.
Conversly it’s been documented that very successful, powerful men like to be sexually dominated because its a reversal of roles from their daily existence.

In conclusion it makes no sense, it can’t be fixed just find a good man who dosent pull himself off 24/7 to the detriment of his personal and profesional life and who won’t physically hurt you, the fairest creature of them all.

Greg,

Wow. That is absolutely THE BEST explanation on the porn question I have ever read.

I appreciated the insight but think that if more men read it and understood their own motivation fewer relationships would be sacrificed on the porn altar.

Good job.

Sorry but no women is ever wrong about the way she feels. if your wife/girlfriend is hurt by you watching porn why would you continue to watch porn and hurt her? Selfishness! Men are different then women yes, but that doesn’t mean men should be give the right to watch porn when it hurts someone they love. I really dont care if single men watch porn. I dont care if men in a realtionship watch porn as long as their partner is okay with it! What is so hard to understand about that? if your partner is hurt and you really care about them then you would stop. No one should tell a women who is hurt by her boyfriend/husband’s porn watching to get over it cause all men do it. That is just stupid. I think men should have respect of their partners feelings and stop being so damn selfish!!!

I find this post interesting. However, you are not every man and I dislike how you’re preteding that you are. For your information there are men out there who do not look at porn & I would fully trust them with my children, they are moral beings. To be truthful, I wouldn’t trust anyone who did look at porn. If you bother to do some research you’ll see that porn leads to pedophilia smarty pants.

Variety is fine, looking is fine, my husband claims he doesn’t look, he’s probably trying to avoid an argument or maybe he feels like he doesn’t want to look else where. As far as your comment on “If you think your father doesn’t look at porn…” I didn’t appreciate that one very much, my grandfather never looked at porn, he was too in love with my grandma to do that. So please, do not speak on the world’s behalf, thanks.

To me it does seem like a bit of a double standard for men vs women. I am a fairly attractive woman and I love attention just like the next woman. So if my man is giving private time attention to these internet women, is it then OK for me to submit myself in such a way that other men can fantasize about me? I would prefer that my man show me how excited that I make him. But if it’s other women that sometimes feed his sexual appetite, then is it ok for me to enjoy the same attention from the opposite sex? I would not find it erotic in any way to just see a penis. However to see that a man is attracted to me is always a turn on.

If the porn aids rather than impedes your sex life, then it’s not a problem.

If the porn is used to satisfy his own sexual needs and is used in place of sex with you, it’s a big problem. This includes him only being interested in his personal satisfaction when he gets around to having sex with you.

And it isn’t going to change, because the basic problem is his selfishness, self-involvement, inability to maintain an intimate relationship and lack of concern for his partner. If you don’t mind being in that kind of a relationship, then by all means stick with it. If you want to be in a loving relationship where your man is concerned with your needs and your well-being, run like hell before you waste anymore time on the loser. You only have one life to live, why waste it on someone who has no concern or caring for your feelings? Fortunately there are a lot of men in this world who would love to be in a loving, trusting, mutually- satisfying relationship. Go find one. Maybe I will too.

Ok first time here looking for answers. I get that men look at porn, doesn’t even bother me when my boyfriend does. Again it is the secrecy behind it that tends to sting a bit but ok, I can handle that too. What is hard and a hit to the self esteem is when he will leave our bed knowing full well I would be willing at any time and go look at porn. WHen we are together, he doesn’t do oral on me, but loves it on him, he rarely touches me “down there” and is so quick to get it on. FOreplay is an alien thing to him. Yes I have tried to teach him, yes we watch porn sometimes together and talk about what we are seeing and what I would like. Yes we have watched programs dealing with how to be sexually satisfied. We are able to openly talk, but why is it he doesn’t want to do the things to me that he so enjoys watching other couples on porn do? It is a huge hit to the self esteem and I know he loves me but what does one do?

I am a beautiful woman who has suffered from low self image due to always feeling inadequate. When I am in the beginning of a relationship where the man is completely in to me I feel great about my body and my sexuality, soon as I discover he looks at porn It all changes. I become insecure as f#$%! It destroys the relationship! Guys just down understand how hurtfull it is to most woman. Its , however, a losing battle! I have decided to give them a taste of how it feels. Hows it gonna feel when I need to get turned on and maturbate to young, buff, exotic men with large c$%# Women need to start having their cake and eating it too!! Start with Playgirl….nice hotties there ladies and make sure your man gets a good dose!

ok I only reviewed a few posts but I have to say, none of them made me feel better. guys look at porn to keep from cheating is what I pretty much got out of this. That is sh*t. To whomever said women start masurbating and create your own fantasies obviously don’t know women very much. When your in a relationship and you masturbate, as a woman, I know that when I do I think of the man I am with, not some guy I seen in a magazine or on the internet or at the coffee shop. Why can’t a man have a fantasy about the woman that he is with instead of the overrated bleach blonde bimbos that are in the magazines? why stay up till 4 am jerking it to the pics on the internet when u can just as easily go into the bedroom and wake up your wife and make her night too? I don’t understand it. I think it is disgusting and it really really makes me mad. guys look at porn because they get something out of it that they are missing in there bedroom. I mean come on, if we started masturbating to pics of some guy with a 10 inch package instead of having sex with you guys, you would start to think, Hmmm…maybe my package is too small for her? well when u guys whack it to pics of other girls who are skinnier, prettier and can bend into unimaginable positions compared to us then what do you think we get out of it???

iam tall thin skinney nice boobs my partner and i have great sex he told me he someyimes looks at porn for the turn on Idon’t get it I love sex and will do anything he wants he always looks around for another pretty face Why do men do that?

I have the worst case of trusting a man, and what you wrote Greg it answered my question for the most part. However I don’t think I can ever understand why.

Myself esteem is for shit, I never think I am beautiful and I am so jealous. The guy I am with is on the computer almost all day long and I know when I am at work and he’s fucking off all day two days a week he’s looking at sites that has porn everywhere you go. It drives me crazy makes me think of wanting to cheat on him to get him back. Ontop of that he’s always on his wifi on his phone and on it for hours.

I know his self esteem is lacking because he makes jack shit for money, but shouldn’t he get off his lazy ass and do something about it? His job is to work on computers all day so maybe being with an IT guy isn’t good for me since porn is part of their job. I don’t know, I think us woman should and deserve respect from the man she wastes her time with.

Hi I am a 24 year old female in a 2 year relationship with a 22 year old male. When I was younger and in my first relationship I was against porn. Now that I’m a bit older I’m not as against porn. I think the girls in the porn industry are allowed to make their own career choices and hey if they are making money good for them as long as it’s safe.

There was never an issue about porn in our relationship till recently. He only had the family computer out in the open and not the best place for viewing porn. About a month ago he bought a laptop for us to use. I had a bad feeling he would look at porn. I found the website RedTube in the history clicked on it and saw Home of Free Porn. It made me feel like shit. I confronted him about it and he denied it. Then started telling me it’s because he can’t please me. But the fact is no guy has been able to give me an orgasm and I’m not mad at him for it. I told him I was not comfortable with it and it hurt my self esteem and made me feel like I needed to change myself to satisfy him. I’ll admit I’m a cute girl. My boobs aren’t that big but I think my body is well proprtioned since I am petite. I thought that would be the end of the porn since I asked him not to. Over the last few weeks I tried to have sex with him more and wear cute underwear and just make things more exciting.

Then last Friday I was getting ready to come to his house and have a nice night of getting Chilis-To-Go, rent a movie, cuddle, and then most likely have sex. When I came over he was laying in his bed in his boxers half asleep. We needed the computer to get the number to Chilis and he went outside and I was typing a website that started with an R and RedTube came up again. So I looked at the history for that day and he looked at 2 videos before I came over and more than likely have sex with him. I was pissed and stormed out to my car and then we talked for a minute and he acted like he didn’t get why I was mad. I said well lets go in and look at the computer. I showed him and he acted like he never looked at it. Then admitted it and said it was to last longer for me and since he can’t give me an orgasm it is easier to look at porn and not worry about pleasing the girls.

My feelings are really hurt. I do not feel good about myself and have started thinking what’s wrong with me. Do I need to tan, dye my hair blonde, and get implants to satisfy him? I shouldn’t have to change myself. I want my boyfriend to find me attractive and only want to have sex with me. Even though I don’t get orgasms from him I still like having sex and I would everyday. I’m a very sexual person. I use a vibrator with him and really love seeing how turned on he gets by me. So why does he need porn. I know I only caught him twice but I can’t have this be a normal thing. Needless to say the computer is now just mine. I would love to make some friends on here and get advice.

well ladies first of all ill let yall in on alil bit of understanding about why men jack off.for one it feels real good and sometimes better than when their partner does it over and over again.we know how we liked to be stroked and how we want it done at that moment which varies all the time for us and we dont want to have to go through telling our partner do it this way now do it that way.so we can get it over alot quicker and move on to our evryday lives like always.Its kinda like when yall women buy all these fucking toys to stick in yourself you do it cause it feels good and you know the spot alot better because its youre body and youve done it before.But when youre doing that do you always fantasize about youre mate…i doubt it.women masturbate just as men do ,and theres alot of fucking women who love porn.And also women arent no fucking better than men.Most of the time the women is the one that actually fulfills her desires by cheating while the man is at home jacking off.Big fucking deal,as long as youre the one hes laying down with each night and breaking his back to support you or whatever the case is ,meaning some women support the man.PLus you women wonder why men are so visuly stimulated by shit like porn ,hell look in public how women dress nowadays and hold theirselves,theres always women in short shorts,fake tits to make us want yall.all that shit is usually for the man to see and it comes back to why our dicks stay hard and we watch porn also.So also i guess if men are dogs women are too just alittle bit more discreet and sneakier about when and how she sticks that big vibrator in her pussy.Well im gonna leave this alone but the bottom line is yea men like porn and we jack the fuck out of our dicks but we are not and i mean not thinking about being with that person in a relationship its just a way to get it alil quicker off.We love our spouse and want our spouse to be happy but just remember its all a fantasy just like yall fantasize and its no foul play if its left at that.SO PLEASE LET YOUR MAN JACK OFF>AND DONT WORRY LADIES ITS ONLY OUR NATURE NOT OUR REALITY.

My man says he isnt into porn that much. First he was saying that he actually never watches porn but i saw short porns in his computer. I dont mind my man watching porn, i watch porn too but that doesnt mean that im not satisfied with my man. I love him and i love having sex with him. But the thing that bothering is that there were only tit fucking porn scenes on his computer. He loves big tits and guess what? I dont have big tits. Im petite and my tits arent big…especially for someone like him. So seeing that porn scenes really made me insecure about myself because of that. And because of the fact that his ex girlfriend who he dated for five years had huge tits, i felt worst. Now i always think that im not good enough for him and he can cheat on me for a girl who has big tits. Im happy with the way i am but i feel like he isnt that happy.

All righty then, I dont know how I stumbled on this sight, but I figured what the hell Ill post, as for all of the people that say, all men look at porn and only very few men dont and all men masturbate while looking at porn is bull, all perverts with crazy sexual fantasies and absolutely no sense of comitment look at porn. if you love your wife/girlfriend, show love to her by not stabbing her in the back, prentending to have sexual fantasies with other women whether you will meet them in the future or not. but whatever, the porn industry is the second most profitable business in america and 87% of the websites are porn sights, its not that hard to figure out just do some research. god. whatever. none of you care anyway…

Please! You love your girlfriend? That’s just an excuse to virtually cheat. Some of you men are dogs and I don’t see how women can allow their “men” to get them brainwashed into thinking it’s okay. It’s not because if you love someone you love ONLY them but than again you aren’t married. Your gf ISN’T okay with it the reason why she gets upset is because those women don’t resemble her and she feels that the ones she is okay with do so you fantasize about her. But you are a sick dog to demean your woman like that it’s demeaning. I bet you fantasize about woman you see in the restaurants how’s that any different once your porn addiction gets to you you will probably act out. Porn contributes to RAPE. Woman are objectified and treated as sex objects if you TRULY love your gf why do you keep doing something she is uncomfortable with? Your a selfish dog plain and simple. Guys like you don’t deserve a real life human breathing beautiful woman. Go ahead and fantasize because one day it will mess up your life. All you men should be put on a deserted island with eachother and maybe you can have a gay orgy and you woman that choose to believe your man’s brainwashing is ok. I feel sorry for you. Girl’s there ARE men out there against porn and btw I forgot to mention go ahead and keep disgracing your woman because one of these days while you are getting off she’ll be finding herself a REAL man.

LOL!!! I have threatened to put a video on the internet of me masturbating to my husband because I am so fucking sick of him looking at porn. He says its because hes horny but its funny i sucked his dick and did his little fantasies and then the very next day hes looking at nasty sluts on the internet. I look at porn too but for me the problem lies on the fact that he doesnt want to look at porn with me he likes to do it behind my back. He obviously lies about the reasoning too because he says he only does it when im not available but if i go to the store he will run and get on the computer and look at porn WTF!!! he didnt ask me to have sex or anything he just waited for me to leave and then his drive kicked in to look at porn. My feelings are if he craves to look and fantasize about fucking other women that much then he will obviously cheat on me. I have asked him if he wouldnt look at porn anymore and he lied and said ok but still does. It is hard for me to accept something that he wants to not include me in.

Like most of the women that have posted, I have a high sex drive. So when I catch my guy in the act of jerking off to porn; I feel distressed, anguished, wish it was me and not some random girl he was getting off to. Then when making love you may feel as I have that you are competing in sexual performance with the women he’s been drooling over.

A few of you had me giggle with the idea of blatantly looking at other guys packages so he’d get an idea. I’d have to do like he does though. He says he only watches porn when he’s bored and I’m busy to get a quick fix. Since he doesn’t want to bother me with it.
I’m glad that he’s sweet enough to come to me when I’ve ran off to cry because it hurts.
He’s told me to look at porn too and get off like that, but I want to have sex with him in all forms. To work together to find ultimate love making. I’m thinking about when he gets home from work dressing in a sex outfit and playing a vibrator on myself. Make up a scene for him and say “you could watch or join in.”
Perhaps the best way to keep a guy is by teasing them, pleasing them and yourself, and plotting scenarios to keep it interesting.

I dont know y i have such a problem with it. I didnt use to, really! I even offered the game up off what ever they do in the porn we will do too!!! but no he didnt want that. now after everything weve been through its other things that make me hate him watching it ( weve been together 7 years ) it hurts because he says he only does it when i dont give him any but the collection grows and grows and grows and hello ive been giving it to you. its assisting in destroying our relationship because all the freaky things i use to do i dont want to do anymore. He has looked at porn so much he has lost touch with how he use to attend to my body before sex, now its just let me get some. are you serious? And like the guys girlfriend above feels, i would like it if you would look at girls that look similar to me because in my mind your exactly what i want. not where every woman is the total opp of me – do you need all five of those / cant you just use one with multi racial girls or sum – like i said i tried in the beginning and he wasnt up for it so yeah now i have issues and insecurities and all that bull shit.

For the men who havent ruined their sex lives, some of us would be more into freaky shit if you guys could make sure you do more than kiss on a nipple – thats not the only place we want to be touched – try a back rub before you want to skeet in the face -

As a man, I find these comments very interesting.

To all the women who feel bad, feel sick, feel cheated on, feel unattractive because their man looks at porn: RELAX–IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU.

A few points that I believe 100%:

Humans, men & women, are ANIMALS first, human beings second. As animals, we have instinctive behavior, behavior that is hard-wired into our brains. Throw a baby underwater and it understands to hold its breath. Wiggle a small, dark, hairy object into someone’s field of vision and 100 times out of 100 they recoil, not necessarily because they’re surprised (they wouldn’t recoil if you tried the same thing with, say, a hard-boiled egg) but because the human brain has evolved to have an immediate aversion to such things because they might be poisonous insects or disease-carrying vermin.

Men are hard-wired to respond to the visual stimulation provided by a woman. Not because they are pigs, or dogs, or perverts, or sickos, but because they are MEN. That is a FACT. That is part of what makes a MAN a MAN. Studies have proven time and again that men’s brains respond differently to visual stimulation than do woman’s brains.

It is natural for men to look at women—all women—and to appreciate the sexuality of women. They do it not because they are not satisfied, not because they are not attracted to their own woman, not because they secretly want to cheat, but because that is what they are hard-wired to do. If a man is in public and a pretty woman walks by he quite literally will NOT look at her ONLY if he (1) somehow doesn’t happen to see her or (2) consciously suppresses the desire to look at her, which only happens if he is with someone who gets upset if she notices him noticing another woman.

MEN’S BRAINS LIKE TO LOOK AT WOMEN. It’s not that men “want” to look at women, or men are pigs so they look at women, but BECAUSE THEY ARE MEN THEY LOOK AT WOMEN.

It’s amazing that so many women on here seem to acknowledge that pretty much every man seems to want to look at porn, yet they can’t make the leap to the fundamental fact that it’s part of what makes a man a man, like his penis. It’s as if all these commenters were saying “It’s so sick! He opens his pants and he has this gross PENIS in there! Why does he have to have that! What a pig!”

And the reason why men “lie” and “hide it” is because their women get so upset by it. The commenters saying that well, men are just selfish and if they cared about our feelings they would stop it, well, no that just isn’t true. You are asking men to suppress part of their fundamental nature, and I guarantee you that many men mean it when they say they won’t do it but it is not easy to suppress something that is part of who you are. It’s like a parent telling their gay son or daughter that if they really love them, they would just be straight—it just isn’t that easy.

Men’s brains are hard-wired to notice women, because evolutionarily speaking we can have the greatest success by impregnating as many women as possible. Of course, that’s not acceptable in polite modern society, and we have “evolved” into a culture in which such behavior wouldn’t work for the majority—male and female—of the parties involved, nor would the majority have any desire for it to work. But the evolutionary “urge to merge”, while sublimated, finds a safer, more practical outlet with masturbation, and its handmaiden, porn. If, for instance, men’s brains primarily craved scents instead of images, “porn” would consist of vials of pheromones that men would inhale while jerking off, and their significant others would be horrified to find their “secret chemistry stash.” But we’re visual, and porn exists because men’s brains crave it. It really is that simple. The key in a relationship is how to negotiate that fact.

All that said, porn does NOT have to tear a couple apart, and porn habits CAN be modified. I know because I have been affected by porn in two relationships, and I have found that only honest communication and healthy attitudes can bring real change, and ultimately, a closer relationship.

First, women MUST accept the reality of men’s brains, and resist the urge to attack men as pigs and sickos. Rather than say that all men are pigs maybe it would be more productive to broaden your understanding of what it means to be a man.

Secondly, a loving man MUST understand that his actions and behavior affect the ones he loves. A man should confront the porn issue with his partner and acknowledge his partners’ feelings, which are just as real and true as his need to look at women.

My marriage (now over) was dysfunctional on several levels, but one wedge was porn. But my wife quite literally got upset when she saw my eyes notice another woman—and I’m not talking leering, I’m talking a glance on the street—to the point where she would follow my eyes wherever I was looking, and she even began to accuse me of being gay if she thought I was looking at a man! It got to the point where I couldn’t look anywhere but at her or at the ground without her getting upset.

But what made her crazy was when she found I’d been looking at porn sites. She used all the words I’ve read in these comments: sick, pig, pervert, etc. I promised I wouldn’t anymore, but I did, and two more times she “caught me”. Although I knew my behavior was hurting her, I didn’t feel I was doing anything wrong. SHE had the problem. I went to a counselor, and he told me that we needed to talk about our relationship with porn, and I said, uh, I don’t think I can do that with her. I had been demonized, I was so defensive, I felt the only way to deal with it was to promise her I wouldn’t do it and try my hardest.

But especially nowadays, it is so easy to access porn. Legitimate web site with no sexual content will have ads with “sexy women” and eventually, being constantly reminded of what was just a click away, I would give in. (There’s a reason so much advertising, so many TV shows, etc., seem to feature attractive women: because men will ALWAYS look at women.)

The most shocking, most devastating day of my life was when my wife left me. There were a number of reasons (as many on “her side” as on “my side”) but porn was a big one. I still love her to this day, and to know that one reason I lost her was porn makes me sick. But it didn’t have to be that way. Many women understand men, and know that looking at porn is a response to a natural inclination. If my wife had understood that, we may have been able to work through our other issues.

But the reality is that many decent, loving women do NOT understand that. My current girlfriend, a wonderful, loving woman, shares the same attitude as many of the commenters here. She is threatened by porn and doesn’t understand why I might “rather look at porn than be with her.” We have honest conversations about porn—I told her about the problem with my ex—and we both understand the others’ attitude. The difference for me, this time, is that I don’t look at porn anymore. Not because I don’t want to—if she didn’t care, I WOULD look at porn—but because I don’t want the same thing to happen to this relationship that happened with the last one.

But I am not being true to my nature, I am suppressing myself, and ultimately I think that is wrong. I have zero desire to cheat—I am 46 and have never cheated while in a committed relationship. How I “deal with” not looking at porn is that I appreciate as fully as possible the beauty that is all around me. Like most men, I appreciate so much about so many women. I love the woman in my life—that’s why I’m with her! But it is unrealistic, and unnatural, to expect a man not to appreciate the sexuality of other women. For me, on the street, on the train, in a restaurant, practically anywhere, I can appreciate the natural beauty all around me. Early 20s, 50s, 60s, skinny, chubby, black, white, brown, I don’t care, I love women. I don’t want to fuck them all, I just think they’re beautiful. If one of them was walking naked down the street for some reason, hell yeah, I’d look, and I’d get a hard-on. I’m a man. It’s crazy to think that a man can only be attracted to his significant other. It’s unrealistic, unnatural and unfair.

But I have heard my girlfriend, and she makes it clear to me how insecure–her words—porn makes her feel. Ultimately I think it’s her problem to fix, but in the meantime, I am going to support her and not look at porn. And I don’t. Porn is the fastest, easiest way to scratch the part of a man’s brain that craves that varied exposure to sexuality. But in its absence, a man can still be creative and respect the feelings of his woman, as misguided as they may be.

Of course, for many men, like with drugs or food or alcohol or video games, porn can become a barrier and a path to dysfunction. As with anything, moderation is the key.

Lynn–> I hate to be the one to say this, but I’m afraid it doesn’t sound too good… If he is chatting to women on the internet, then it’s not about physical attraction… Or does he speak to them sexually?

This is one of the situations where I said I can understand why some women would call men dogs. The thing I disagreed with was women who generalise and call all men dogs because they’ve had bad experiences, but I wasn’t trying to justify what some men do wrong…

Personally I disagree with what your husband is doing… I think you should have a long talk with him about it, tell him that it is wrong for him to speak to other women, but he can look at as much pornography as he wants!

If I were you, I would tell him that I was unhappy with what he was doing, and if he didn’t want to change it, or if he said he would change it and then not, I would end it. Sorry to say but it seems like his fantasies have replaced the real thing, which I just think is wrong. Find yourself a guy who fantasises about YOU, and only wants you as long as you’re available, only resorting to pornography when you’re not there to satisfy his needs.

BrothersUnite

I agree with you fully… But not only that; women complain about men looking at pornography and getting turned on and masturbating, yet ALL women read romance novels and watch romantic movies…

So the way I see it, men look at porn and fantasise about those women…

Women look at romance novels and movies and fantasise about those men…

If anything it’s worse when women look at that stuff cos half the time they actually wish their boyfriends/husbands were like that, whereas (from what I’ve heard) men never wish that their partners were like the women that are in porn, they just use it as a means to reach that mindset (being turned on)…

Correct me if I’m wrong but women are just as bad as men… (Not that looking at porn is a bad thing, but you get what I mean!)

I see you have analyzed all of your girlfriends “insecurities”. Good for you.

First of all; why is it your RIGHT as a male to look at other women, to masturbate to other REAL people. Just becouse they have been caught on tape, doesn’t change the fact that they are still real life human beings. What they are doing are very real. Where is the fantasy-aspect in all that? What if you were in the same room as them, forget the camera lens, doesn’t this qualify as cheating to you? Many women considers porn as cheating. I understand completely why your wife freaks out when you clearly isn’t even bothering to fantasies about her, but about other ethnicity, agegroups etc that has NOTHING in common with her. What signals does that send?

Secondly, I wonder how you would feel if the tables were turned. If not only your partner enjoyed and actively participated in looking at porn of other men. Even masturbating to it. Men that didn’t look like you at all. Maybe men who reminded her of ex-lovers. Would you still feel okay with these “innocent fantasies”? And now I’m not talking about her putting on a show for you. But herself locked in a room pleasuring herself to images of OTHER males. And what about cybersex? Phonesex? Same damn thing.

Men watching porn is fine. Its what guys do. If you are a down to eartch, open to new things, you prob. would understand that, thats just what guys do. Hell, you might find it interesting to watch a little porn yourself. When it becomes to a point where you notice your man gets on all the time..meaning your web browsing history is full to the max everyday with porn sites, then yes talk to your man. If they love you, they “might” understand. Guys can go to strip clubs and enjoy it just by looking but honeslty if I was to go to a all nude strip club for women, I prob. wouldnt enjoy all that much. Yes naked guys look good but it I think guys look at naked women differently…thats just me so maybe im just weird. If your man is viewing live web cams then YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. I understand thats a guys “ultimate” porno b/c they can tell the women what to do and how to do it) but they have crossed the line with that one. Thats as live as it gets. You dont know if he is exchanging number with her. Once that happens then I think there is a problem. Most live webcams cost money so if your man is waisting money…who knows what else he could be spending it on. I could be wrong about all this..but I just know this from experience and yes it hurts.

Whats a girl suppose to do If I leave this great guy I have becauses of the porn, which buy the way it is really hard to feel the same about him as I did before. I found out his porn mistress. And start dating someone else only to end up in the same boat all over again. Since all guys look at porn is my only option is to deal with it or be alone. The whole thing has caused me to loose respect for him and I dont have a lot of faith in what the future could hold for us. I want to understand I really love him alot I just don’t know what to do.

Not all guys look at porn. This is propaganda and I would bet some of these people posting such are agent provocateurs.

They are liars.

It is not some genetic marker that is making these people look. They look because of the mind controlling propaganda and brainwashing. Pornography plays on man’s natural instincts towards visual inspiration.

Pornography has NOTHING to do with feminine, btw. Once the stimulation wears off they either stop, which normally would happen as a man reaches a more mature and conscience awareness of LIFE. Or some move on to more and more hard core porn. It becomes an addiction….Because it operates on the brain as a drug would.

Read some of Henry Makow’s articles. He is a sane voice in a vile swamp.:

http://www.savethemales.ca/000535.html

It is obvious that this pornography is not free speech. Listen to what OTHER men say.

Then listen to how pornography, and this is from the medical journals and medical profession, works and actually changes the brain functioning causing addictions just like chemicals and drugs:

http://www.drjudithreisman.com/archives/2005/12/senate_subcommi.html

These guys telling you ALL men look are pulling your legs. What they are doing is justifying degradation of humanity.

There is a big difference in pornography and nudity. We see the tastefull art of the ancients in regards to female and male bodies alike.

from
http://www.drjudithreisman.com/archives/2005/12/senate_subcommi.html

Dr. Satinover emphasized that modern science debunks the dangerous illusion that pornography is merely “_expression in the trivial sense that a fall from the Empire State Building is a mere stumble–since it’s hitting the ground that’s fatal. Or, that cigarettes don’t cause cancer, it’s the burning smoke that’s the problem.”

Here is what I mean: Like cigarettes, that particular form of _expression we call pornography, unlike all other forms of _expression, is a delivery system that has a distinct and powerful effect upon the human brain and nervous system. Exactly like cigarettes, and unlike any other form of _expression, this effect is to cause a powerful addiction. Like any other addiction, the addiction is both to the delivery system itself–the pornography–and to the chemicals that the delivery system delivers. [Emphasis in original.]

It may seem surprising that, at this juncture, I should speak of “chemicals,” when one might be thinking instead of “sex.” But, in fact, modern science allows us to understand that the underlying nature of an addiction to pornography is chemically nearly identical to a heroin addiction: Only the delivery system is different, and the sequence of steps. That is why heroin addicts in particular give up sex and routinely compare their “rushes” to “orgasms.”

The pornography addict soon forgets about everything and everyone else in favor of an ever more elusive sexual jolt. He will eventually be able to find it only among other “junkies” like himself, and he will place at risk his career, his friends, his family. He will indulge his habit anywhere and everywhere, at any time. No one, no matter how highly placed, is immune. And like all other addicts, the pornography addict will lie to cover it up, heedless of risk or cost to himself or to others.

Dr. Layden included the anti-social effects of pornography consumption in her testimony:

Those who use pornography have also been shown to be more likely to engage in illegal behavior as well. Research indicates and my clinical experience supports that those who use pornography are more likely to go to prostitutes, engage in domestic violence, stranger rape, date rape and incest. These behaviors should not be surprising since pornographic videos containing all of these themes are readily available and the permission-giving beliefs of these pornographic videos reinforced by the orgasm say that all these behaviors are normal, acceptable, common and don’t hurt anyone.

my husband looks at porn and I truly understand and it really doesnt bother me, but what does it that he will not have sex with me; I am not fat i am athletic with and average body, nice chest; sexy i must say for having two children!!! Should I be worried? Well lets Just say this I am worried things are not good at all…what is a lady to do?

This is weird, I stumbled upon this web site while looking for porn.
Sarah hit the nail on the head, so read it again…

Porn is the target for anger, only because it’s easy to point at.
What’s really going on, isn’t even a “porn” issue if you’re willing to step back, breathe, and look at the whole picture.

The first thing women think is “Why doesn’t he just come to me for sex if he’s horny?”

Fact: Masturbation and Sex are on completely different scales.Sex, as everyone here knows, is an intimate act with another person. Masturbation is a private act with oneself. It is NOT your business nor is it something you have any right to control, ever. If someone is looking to “get off” by themselves, they are not interested in being intimate with another person. He’s not asking you to have sex with him, because he wants to have sex with himself. Wanting to masturbate is NOT wrong and in fact.. it is healthy.

Another possible question:
“How am I supposed to compare to these women/whores.”

Fact: Your sig other doesn’t WANT you to act/look like the women they view on the internet. If you DID act and look like most of the women that men tend to jack off to, they would not be with you for ANY length of time. You would be nothing but a fuck box. Men do not commit to, nor emotionally invest in fuck boxes.

–(Actually, fuck that, be the fantasy. I’m not saying lets engage in a double penetration, but watch some porn with me. Tell me you’d be comfortable trying something new. Hell, I’ll do the same, I want to be you’re fantasy also.

Question 3:
“Why does he look up “degrading” porn?”
If he’s looking at “fuckherfaceuntilshecries.com” it’s because every once in a while, he’d like to fantasies about fucking a girl’s face until she cries. All it is, is a fantasy. Does it mean he WANTS to do it to you, or in real life at all? No. A fantasy is just that, a fantasy. If you’re still confused, think about a fantasy about -anything- that you wouldn’t necessarily want to do in real life, and you’re on the right track.

– (LMAO)

Question 4:
“Why does he look at porn? I don’t do that, yuck!”
You may not look at visual porn and that’s fine and dandy. I bet you’ve read a romance novel or two in your life time. Do you know what that is? It’s basically porn for women. (Please attempt to deny this) Or how about a random fantasy of being saved by a muscled hunk of a man from a burning building with a long and savory kiss for the hero? Uhm, hello.. you just stepped into your fantasy land. Just because your method of fantasy doesn’t have the same medium as your significant other’s, doesn’t mean it’s any different.

Question 5:
“Why am I being neglected? I want sex!”
Fact: Unless you say verbally that you would like to have sex, he’s not going to know. Okay, I lied.. If you sit infront of him and start stripping and touching yourself, that’s a big enough hint that you want it. Anything else, he’s not getting the hint. Men cannot read your mind and you’d be surprised how terrifying your possible “no” can be.

“But I asked him for sex, he turned me down.. then jerked off to porn.”
AHHA! Now here we go, that “whole picture” deal I mentioned way in the beginning. It’s safe to say, the porn is NOT the problem. The problem is he doesn’t want to have sex with you, period. Cut the anxiety of the evil evil evil porn out of the picture and you have what? “I’m not being satified by my man.” Deal with THAT issue because THAT is THE issue. Tell him how you feel (not about the porn, -sigh-), about the lack of intimacy between the two of you. Who knows, maybe he doesn’t want to have sex because he’s stressed out and it’s just temporary, he doesn’t think he can please you properly and doesn’t know how to bring it up (there’s your chance to inform him), you might need to try something other than missionary (yay, fun!) etc etc. Slapping him with “i can’t believe you watch porn” will get you a stone wall.. and it should. Coming to him and actively seeking out how to make your sex life better (or exist again), now that’s your fix.
Disclaimer: I didn’t say he would stop looking at porn with this method. I am implying that when you find out what’s wrong with YOUR sex life and work on it together, YOU will be better satisfied

WOW! what a great comment couldn’t have stated it better myself.

I am so tired of hearing that it is normal for men to look at porn. That is such an excuse for hurting the women who really love them. It is so sad to see so many women being hurt by the same thing… and all men can do is say, “its’ normal, we all look”. That’s fine, if you all want to look, theIn don’t let us love you. Be up front and hones, let us make an informed decison as to whether we really want to be with you. I can say i would not have married my husband if i would have known he looked at porn. I think its disgusting, and what happened to the art of love. Why do men expect women to be everything they want, but when it comes to what we expect from our men, there is nothing there but empty promises. I, like quite a few of the others on here, would rather be alone than be in a relationship that causes me so much grief over something that should be illegal, or atleast not as easily accessible. It is absurd that i should have to hate my life because my man looks at other women on the internet… i am better than that, he can lie to someone else. My dogs make me happier. Thanks guys. You would think that you guys would wise up and realize how much this hurts us… stop telling us that we are crazy and that we should just let it be… obviously, we are not crazy, in fact, we all feel the same way. (minus one or two) You say you love us, yet you go on hurting us.

all the answers have been very interesting…i HATE the fact that my bf looks at porn and pleasures himself to it…i KNOW that it is alot better then going out and getting with other women, but it just makes me angry inside…like i want to make him feel the same way….
so i ask you this, since its like trying to fight a war going every over exposed movie..mag…ect…
should i give up and act the way men act…will this make me understand or feel better knowing that i am doing it too? maybe those days that he takes his computer to the bedroom and locks the doors wouldnt piss me off to no end if i started doing it too, or even checking out mens packages while were out together…im just thinking maybe this would make things easier….i wish they could feel the way it makes us feel

why do men look at porn? is porn like cheating? whAT does it mean when a men that has a girlfriend and he has a account like on eharmony?

I’m a man who has been researching pornagraphy and the effects that it has on women and society , pornagraphy for the most part breeds violence against women , women are replused by porn because most women feel that they should be enough for the man in their life and he shouldn’t have to look else were for excitement , instead of loosing your man to pornagraphy why not exchange pornagraphy with something else that he likes to do but you don’t , this means that you will have to change a little , perhaps then he will be willing to do something you like to do that he did not like but will try it now because you opened the door compromise , then teach your husband about sex to see what he enjoys most
some men who love there wives will study pornagraphy to see what pleases women most , they are ashamed to ask so show your husband what you like, I interviewed and old couple married 65 years the wife was sitting in the husbands lap making out on the bench in the park , so I sat down beside them , it pissed them off for a bit , then I started asking them questions , when they first got married they were both virgins they asked God before they consumated their marriage that they should always be intoxicated in each other’s arms , so while they are in each others arms hugging they both have orgasms only there is no dischange when they hold one an other and french kiss she said it was like little firecrackers going off inside of her mutliple orgasms , when they had regular intercourse both agreed that it was 3 times more pleasureable than that and would have discharge and it’s been that way their whole marriage of 65 years both of them at the end of the conversation could not understand why they confided this to me , people all my life have always felt comfortable with me and have always answered question when I asked , they said that they go on their knees every night in prayer and ask to keep the gift , neither one ever looked at pornagraphy , she said that she’s always been all that he ever needed

Hears my problem!! I believe I would be cool with my man watching porn if he made me feel beautiful and worth something. We are insecure because our men make us that way. How am I supposed to feel when I try my hardest to look good but all I get is a….”you look good” ???? seriously??? F*** you!! Of course I do!! We need more than that!! How bout baby I don’t know what I’d do without you, your my heart and soul, thank you for all you do, you look beautiful today…(even thou I have no makeup on) would it kill you to show a little affection???? I hate that stupid rule….Guys are different…..Well F*** that!! Fake it then!! Just as we don’t like you watching porn….you guys might not like showing some “love and affection” to your woman. Well it takes 2 baby!!! If your woman isn’t confident and doesn’t like you watching porn its prob because you don’t make her feel special then in turn she gets pissed when you watch porn because she’s self conscious!!! I WONDER WHY???? UGH!!!

hi i have been married for 5 years going on 6 and i have read all of these im so depressed all the time my husband looks at girls and porn all the time and then has sex with me is that what love is does it excist i really what to know i love my husband so much i would die for him he is my first and only love i dont know what to do i have threated that i would leave asked him to stop i even cry right infront of him but all thay say is im sorry it shouldnt hurt you get over it right now he isnt really doing much but upsest with a girl thats on a game called samus and yes he finds naked ones of her to how can i compete wih that she’s not real whats wrong with me and why does these things hurt us why cant we just exept it i know on thing is im not leaving him he is my whole world if only he can feel what i feel he i even told him i would look at porn then and he tells me to do it but thats not me i dont think to wrongs dont make a right i will just live untill the end and then never be with a guy agian like i said hes my first and will be my only i will just get a dog if im still around but i told him i im not then he can remarrie. i have a problem with the porn is that i am not good enogh in the erlyer years he would say y cant u look like that yes im a fat women that waighs 199lb but he didnt do it anymore that it made me happy intill yesterday he admits it he looks because im to fat

What I find funny about the “Men are visual creatures” comment is that it is believed to be true among the scientific community that women are also visual creatures, and this is why they are prone to fuss around with their appearance. I find it a bit convenient to say that men and women are visually stimulated by different things. The divide between men and women on this issue I believe is that a majority of porn that is discovered is porn that is

1) Aimed toward men

2) Shown through a man’s eyes

Very little is taken into consideration in these movies for what REALLY pleases a woman as an individual, and I can see that leaving a bad taste after the truth comes out.

I’m not bashing porn, but that’s how I see it.

Watching porn is hard-wired into men. Men are evolutionarily programmed to do it. Pretty much every man watches porn. Pretty much every woman has a problem with men watching porn. If men weren’t programmed to do it, then they wouldn’t, due to women’s resistance to it. Most men don’t enjoy hiding things, being sneaky, or hurting women. Men are programmed to shop for other women, so we watch porn to satisfy that need. We are also programmed to take care of the woman we’re with, but as the article state, that creates a lot of pressure that doesn’t exist with watching porn. Women who say that they’ve made their men stop watching are not only deluding themselves that their man has actually stopped, they are also creating a relationship where hiding activities is a necissity to the man. In addition, she is attempting to force the man to stop something that is in his nature. Nature will prevail. He will either watch porn behind her back, or will begin looking elsewhere for that release. Even if the man stays true, there will still be frustration from not being able to find any outlet for those desires, as well as the frustration from being controlled.

When a man watches porn, it does not mean that he’s not happy with his woman, or satisfied, or any of that. To men, women are like art… they are the most beautiful thing in the world. Just because you’ve seen one painting, or one flower, or one sunset it doesn’t mean you don’t want to see more. To put it in terms of other things that are ingrained: Just because a person isn’t hungry doesn’t mean they don’t want a peice of chocolate. Just because a person is happy in a relationship and doesn’t want to get pregnant, doesn’t mean they don’t want to have sex.

It isn’t just guys that need variety. If you men really, honestly think that us women don’t sneak off and look at “hot asian guys” or “hot guys in boots” or “hot guys whatever” then you are dead wrong. We have the same carnal needs and desires that you men do, we just are sneakier about it than you are. We lie too. We are experienced liars. We can look you in the eye and tell you that you are the best we ever had and make you believe it. We fantasize – we don’t just use porn to fantasize, we are in a way worse than you guys are. We fantasize about your friends, our exes, high school guys we dated or didn’t date, college guys we knew, your brother, the guy next door or across the street and we do this even while we are having sex with you – if we are bored of the same old routine, we will use fantasy to get us there. So if you think that you are doing something that we aren’t – you are wrong. Dead wrong. Just remember that for every 1 picture/video/fantasy of some girl you don’t know that you have – we probably have at least 2 or 3 of people we do know

hey ppl, i jus got back in town and i was away from my boyfriend for a week…i come in my room and i went to the history to find a website i had previously gone to before i left…..i saw some websites that i hadnt seen before and out of curiosity i went to them….they were porn….this isnt the first time…im aware that he looks at porn but he denied when i confronted him about it the first time….bcuz he left the screen open and when i came to use the computer there it was!!! but instead of being honest…he lied and said he wasnt looking at porn…..shouldd i be worried that he lies about it? or shoulld i leave it be? i feel like he should trust me enough to be honest about it…i have lots of uncle and male cousins…and my brothers too…i know men watch porn and i could care less if he watches it bcuz our sex life is great! what should i do?