Demi Moore scored big time with Ashton. And I have met the guy, so I know from what I speak. He is more than simply hot and talented. He looks you right in the eye, imparting something even more attractive: maturity. Disarming lucidity, a sense of confidence, even kindness. That was what I saw in Ashton that warm September afternoon, when I met him in the halls of MTV Networks. I can still remember it……Mostly because that is not a look I often see from the eyes of a guy in his ’20s. Don’t get me wrong, I see plenty in their eyes…but rarely maturity.

Now, why am I picking on boys in their ’20s? I’ll tell you why: I’m surrounded by them. I started in my career late…mostly because I was distracted by my own hotness and spent the ’90s getting LAID. Now, I am a career gal, at a 9-5…in a technical field mostly inhabited by dudes. Those dudes tend to be in their ’20s. And those dudes also often tend to be nerds. Smart nerds. Who, if they were lucky, scored feebly with the ladies in college…and certainly not before.

It’s not that these boys aren’t cute, they ARE cute. But they suffer from a crippling form of Nerdism. They just didn’t have the balls to score with chicks. Now that they’re pulling down a paycheck and fighting rush-hour traffic, a new confidence grows…and along with it — a long-neglected boner.

You throw an old bag like me — who had underpinnings of hotness a mere 6 years ago — into the nerd mix and what you get is ready-made boinking. Now I know you’re reading this wondering what I’m on. But I’ll tell you, I’m not lying when I say I can name 5 dudes in their ’20s who masturbate to me regularly. One of those nerds just turned 30. No lie. I wish I was lying. I think these nerds can sense my ability to do the splits, or that I’m an “any-orifice” gal. Or, WAS – in the ’90s. I digress.

My point is, yes I could bone these guys. But this brings me to my point:

WHY BOTHER????!!!!

Boning a guy in his ’20s guarantees you one thing: being a notch on his belt. They can’t help it. They know “settling down” looms a mere few years away – in their dreaded ’30s. NOW is the time to “pluck the cherries”, or so says their testosterone-laced grey matter.

So ladies, this is a warning to you. Yes, I will grant you that boys in their ’20s can boink with little or no refractory period. Especially if you’re lucky enough to find a nerd. They can go all night, which might include up to 4 “expressions of fluid” from them. Nothing like the vast sahara that is the nerd pussy experience to put a guy in the mood to please a woman – any woman – he can convince to bed him.

But that same guy cannot — and will not — be able to commit. And even if he does, it will eventually peter out in the coming decade, along with his dick, when he realizes his best pussy years are behind him. Ultimately, a woman reaches her sexual peak in her ’40s, while a man does so in his ’20s. It’s not fair, but as long as you’re not looking for a commitment, it’s a perfect union.

So what is my problem? Sadly, I AM looking for a commitment. When you’re this hot, you have to pass these genes on. It just wouldn’t be fair to future mankind, not to. So I’ll have to avoid those men in their ’20s…AND their soulful expressions promising magnificent boners without medical intervention. Because, since I am no longer a woman in my ’20s, I have a different set of values. And that includes this one: my years as a cum-dumpster – although magnificent — are over.

I will never submit to a man in his ’20s, even though I should feel lucky to have his interest. I know better. I will wait for some pathetic divorcee.

Last 5 posts by Salli Frattini

• Lie to yourself, but not to me - October 8th, 2006
• Size doesn’t matter - September 9th, 2006
• Why I won't bone - September 9th, 2006
• CHIVALRY: Where the fuck is it? - September 9th, 2006