Here we are again folks, another day, another lunch hour and another conversation about why we are all still single. We’re still young, we are fairly attractive, we are certainly successful, and so why are we still single? I usually eat lunch with three other women. Jessica, the youngest is 25, lives with her parents and doesn’t date much. I don’t think she’s ever technically had a boyfriend. Kathy is 33, single, lives alone, and owns a condo, future cat rancher. Kathy hasn’t dated since she was 24; her last boyfriend cheated on her and broke her heart. I don’t think she ever recovered. Jodi is 36, spent ten years in a going no where relationship, she rents an apartment on a month to month lease and is clearly a commitment phobic. Maybe she should of stayed in the going no where relationship.

I am 26, own a home, single, serial monogamous, and also a future cat rancher. We work at a mortgage company in the underwriting department, and we all earn a good living. We all have sparingly different personalities. We come from different backgrounds and we live different lives. Except it seems we have one thing in common, we are all single.

One day, as I wait in the lunch room for the others to tear themselves away from their work to eat our crappy lean cuisines anticipating another boring conversation on how to find a husband. I decide to conduct an experiment. I told everyone as they walked in, I’m bored of our usual conversation and don’t want to talk about guys for once. We sat in silence for about ten minutes. My experiment was a success in my eyes. We really didn?t have anything to talk about except our last bad date, why we think he never called back or why neither of us is in a successful, lasting relationship. After the ten minutes, I said ok we talk again, since we have nothing better to talk about. After that, I have submitted to the fact that maybe the only thing I have in common with the girls I work with is this one subject: misbehaving boys.

So each of us, like usual, take our turns hashing and rehashing our thoughts on dating, relating and mating. While I sit there and listen to the non stop stories of how men suck. It dawned on me, why can’t four seemingly attractive, young, smart, obviously successful women find a good relationship? Are we too independent for our own good? Does our success level or income level intimidate men? And why can’t women that are so successful (some of us managers, including me at 24) apply what we know in business to relationships? If we can be successful in one part of our life, can we apply the same rules to another part and make it work? Speaking of work, do we work too much to find love? Is there more to life than finding a husband or even a boyfriend?

I have realized after five years of the same lunch time conversation, we will never figure it out. We will never know why he didn’t call for a 2nd date or why he loved me and then left me broken hearted. Or why we really know how to pick em? and maybe we?re not supposed to. Maybe there’s more to life than getting married, having babies, getting the SUV and getting a divorce and then repeating the process. When your focus is on other things then when are you going to get laid again or better yet, married? Does the tide of luck change and a good relationship just falls into your lap? Maybe we need to quit trying so hard and find the guy that will chase until he falls at our feet and begs us to marry him. Maybe we need to quit obsessing and find something less draining to put our energy in to. Maybe we are just crazy bitches and men can spot the crazy head cases a mile away and desperation is a hideous scent to them. I think it?s a mixture of all the above, and maybe in another 10 years we’ll still be having the same lunch time conversation, still won?t figure it all out and still be asking each other the same questions.

Why are we still single?