There are many tried and tested theories when it comes to meeting people and introducing yourself to the world. Shaking hands, air kisses, a slap on the back; while all viable but perhaps inappropriate when meeting for the first time, possibly the most understood and popular form of greeting is simply the word “hello”. With variations such as “hi” and “hey” used in everyday chat, it’s no wonder that whatever the language or culture, “hello” has the power to be recognised as both a greeting and an invitation of friendship. But with several people trying to maintain friendships with mere acquaintances and past lovers, many feel as though they are losing their individuality and so do the opposite of saying “hello”. By saying “goodbye” to these contacts, they feel more secure and comfortable in establishing who their real friends are and don’t have to deal with the social struggles of pretending to be nice to those they don’t regard as a friend.

Sadly these ‘mere acquaintances’ and ‘past lovers’ may have meant more at one point, and while in a perfect world we would get along with these people the harsh reality is that when we make detachments of the physical kind, we detach ourselves emotionally too. The problem is after spending so much time with these people, it’s not unusual to find that you will have picked up some of their habits, and adapted yourself in a way that has made you compatible with them. No two people are alike, but it’s inevitable that the more time you spend with someone, the more you tailor your personality to them by picking up some of their mannerisms. So the only way to disassociate yourself with nearly everything you knew about them involves not only shedding any traits you may have picked up from them, but also rediscovering your own identity.

The most obvious way to remove any affiliation you had is to discard any material objects that hold emotional reminders of them. You already have no physical contact with that person, so it’s only logical to cast aside any personal objects that related to them. Surrounding yourself with these items leaves you in some kind of emotional limbo as although you no longer have an emotional bond with them, physically, they still serve as a reminder. If, like me, you’ve dabbled in many a relationship, you’ll probably have amassed a wide collection of your partner’s possessions. A photograph here, a soppy love letter there, we’re all guilty of holding onto the past. Yet while we’re used to encountering the break-ups followed by the ceremonial disposal of memorabilia, it doesn’t mean it gets any easier. We spend so long holding onto these items as though our life depended on them, that by the time it comes to throwing it out, these items have become our life. By getting rid of their belongings, you no longer have to be haunted by their memory, and can go about your life the way it was before you met them. Yet whilst this may be our way of “goodbye”, many people still find that they are able to deal with a civilised “hello” with a previous significant other from time to time. However, there are others who aren’t so civilised vocally. They prefer the actions speak louder than words method.

Whilst many people find that this is the most practical of solutions when it comes to organising their life, sadly there are some people who need a more drastic alternative; and that is to write that person out of their life completely. Not content with just chucking out the emotional clutter, some feel that the only way to establish their identity is to remember who they were before they had ever met these people. By severing all ties and cutting off all possible forms of contact, they can in a sense, get their life back before they walked in these social circles. Discovering your personality without these influences means both a stronger character and a surge in confidence, as you have to recognise what your original traits were as well as realising you can survive without these people. After all, we’re born into the world alone, and we’ve been doing pretty well without the help of people so far.

But personally, I don’t believe in the conventions of “hello” and “goodbye”. We use these salutations everyday but only because conversations expect this convention; and so the more we’re greeted, the harder it is for us to say goodbye. If you think about it, even when we do part ways with someone, the next time we meet with them we simply pick up from where we left off. This could go on for weeks, months, and even years. So even though you may think that saying goodbye to these old flames might be a way of reintroducing yourself to the world, in the grand scheme of things, these people are still part of the world. From the way someone laughs to a song you rarely hear, these mementos will be ingrained wherever you go. And it is these everyday souvenirs that remind you that even when you do everything you can to remove someone out of your life, somehow and somewhere, you will remember them. So tell me. Where is the good in goodbye?