One of these two will catch the attention of the other on one dating website or another. They chat casually via instant messenger and flirt shamelessly on the telephone. It is likely that they will engage in cyber-sex before they ever even meet.

They meet. They eat, drink, and have sex. The woman goes home feeling even worse about herself than before. The man sleeps soundly in his bed after a mediocre booty-session with a woman who has obvious self-esteem issues.

That’s about the typical Internet encounter.

I am not the average woman I described above. I am a corporate-kick-ass, get-it-done girl with a good body and a sharp mind. The Internet was NOT the way I planned to meet a man, much less one that would be worth anything.

However, as my career took off, my travel plans expanded to include both coasts and both borders of the States, I sought an alternative to barhopping in every new town I visited. Dating (if you could call it that) over one hundred men in two and a half years, I was a Serial-Cyber-Dater!

My first encounters began in my hometown, before I began traveling. One of the first men I met, I like to refer to as “Urkle.” This man had his pants pulled up under his armpits. His tie was tucked into his waistline. He was wearing mismatched shoes, one blue, and one black. He was about 10 years older than his profile and picture claimed. As if his appearance wasn’t punishment enough, the conversation was even worse. Urkle was boring, thought too highly of himself for being the person he was, and was just a downright asshole. He walked me to my car and went in for the kiss. I suddenly turned my head and he got a mouthful of hair. I jumped into my car and sped out of the parking lot, out of this man’s life.

In Denver, I met a man online and we decided to physically meet at a 7-11. We met; he said he was going to get a soda from the 7-11. I got a business call and had to take it. Twenty minutes later, he hadn’t come back. He never did.

In Wisconsin, I met a BMW salesman. He told me he would take me out the next weekend. I waited. He never showed. He called. “I forgot I had to do my taxes tonight. I can’t take you out.” This was in the middle of July. Soooooo urgent.

Most of my experiences with Internet dating played out like bad dates in a novel. I almost would have preferred having sex with Mr. Fling and feeling awful about myself the next day. Had I known then what I know now, I would have had a much easier time screening the losers from the, well, MVP’s.

Some tips on Internet dating?

• Don’t look for Mr. Marriage. The Internet is full of Mr. Flings and that’s what you’ll find. The good news is that some of the Mr. Flings are really Mr. Marriages. You just have to click with the right Fling.
• Never agree to meet someone at a convenience store. It never works. They always run. Trust me.
• Don’t be dishonest in your profile. Don’t be generic, either. Let your personality shine through. Most dating websites give excellent tips on writing a great profile-take advantage. Part Deux will be on profile perfection.
• Know how to spot the freaks. Anyone who refuses to show you a picture, talk on the phone or meet you in public is a big NO! For the most part, Internet dating is safe. Just be sure to tell someone where you are going to be, and make sure it is a well-lit, public place.
• Lastly, don’t limit yourself to just meeting people online. Be sure to go out to dinner, have a drink at a cool bar, and frequent an art gallery you enjoy. Sticking only to online dating can cause mindless hours sitting in front of a computer scanning worthless profiles that you’ll never even contact. Get out and have a little fun!

The bottom line is this: Make sure you connect with someone on more than just a sexual level. Engage them in good conversation and find out if they can hold their own. Build a relationship rather than expecting it to happen overnight. Get to know this person you met in Cyber Land. Otherwise, you’ll end up like “Miss Blondie,” in a cyber world trying to figure out all the rules, or like “Mr. Fling”, with seventeen STD’s and twenty kids by twenty-five women.