“So, is that your girlfriend?”
“No, we’re just seeing each other.”

Seeing each other? What exactly does that mean anyway? Some say it’s dating, others say it’s everything but the title, and still many others think it’s the perfect relationship: the open relationship, where you have the liberty to see other people at the same time. But are you really free?

This one is for the boys, because although both guys and gals play this pointless game, according to a survey – conducted on 100 men and women between the ages of 18 and 25 – only 43 out of 100 women compared to a whopping 87 out of 100 men, said they would rather be in an open relationship than a committed one.

A few years ago, a San Francisco appellate court defined dating as, “a social relationship between two individuals who have a reciprocally amorous and increasingly exclusive interest in one another, and shared expectation of the growth of that mutual interest, that has endured for such a length of time and stimulated such frequent interactions that the relationship cannot be deemed to have been casual.”

Basically, it’s the girl you come home drunk to every night after scoring phone numbers at the bars with the boys. It’s the girl you like, but don’t want to call your “girlfriend,” because you’re scared of what you might be missing out on if you had to commit yourself just to one person.

Honestly boys, you might as well call her your girlfriend because you know you get enraged with jealousy whenever you see her fluttering her seductive eyelashes at another guy. And you know you don’t mean it when you say it’s okay for her to see other people. You know you’d want to jump over the bar and knock a dude out if you saw him buying drinks for the girl you’re “just seeing.”

I’m sure you’re not oblivious to the fact that women are jealous, attention-seeking divas – every single one. Ladies, let’s admit it. We might say, “It’s okay, you can go pick up other girls with the guys tonight.” But you know deep down inside, as the blood in your veins start to boil and you clench your fists till you break through skin, you want to strangle him for being so stupid and insensitive. And if you ever saw him with another girl…let’s not even go there.

Being in an open relationship is just asking for a daily dose of head-splitting drama, hate, and hurt. Sure, at first just seeing someone is great – you get to be intimate with someone without having to call them as soon as you wake up and right before you go to bed, but eventually the shit will hit the fan and you’ll be dealing with heartbroken girls sobbing over the phone or keying your car.

So why do so many singles find themselves in this vicious cycle of mind games and pointless relationships? Kathy Sanborn, a life and career coach, says today’s singles want to explore and keep their options open because they realize the need to do so in order to find the right person. Sanborn also believes these relationships are healthy, as long as there is honesty between the partners.

It’s best put by local amateur monogamist, Nancy Chen, who has been with her boyfriend for three years, “seeing someone is being with them until you find someone else that’s better.” So, if you’re tough enough to deal with the fact that you could be dumped at any moment for someone else that is supposedly better than you – according to the person who dumped you – then have fun and good luck. But for the rest of us that have tender hearts, let’s wait until the right one comes along; don’t invest any real emotions and feelings on anyone who doesn’t deserve it

Last 5 posts by Jessyi

• Honey I need to feel your touch - September 20th, 2006
• Let nice guys into the game - September 20th, 2006