It’s simply excruciating. Being single and not fitting any particular conventional group pattern makes finding suitable dating material almost impossible. Sure…every once in a while, you’ll run across somebody in your travels that elicits that *spark*, but there really are no resources out there for an aging punk rocker with a green and black mohawk with multiple tattoos and a nighttime job. I’ve run into this problem over and over in the past, and it hasn’t gotten any better over time. I guess people in my ‘social group’ don’t tend to be desperate enough to submit a personals ad. I’ve been dating rather normal appearing individuals for what seems like the dawn of my ‘coming of age’.
It is at this point in my life that I begin to wonder why? The guys I’ve hooked up with are wonderful people, and I’ve had wonderful times with them (except for a chosen few that I hope get run over by threshing machines) but there has been nary an oddly colored hair, odd hairstyle or tattoo among them. Ok…one had tattoos…and earrings, and he was easily the most enjoyable person I’d ever been with, but that didn’t work out. I don’t know what draws me to these people that live in relatively normal surroundings. Most of this has been because the people that ‘appear’ like me are shallow, self-centered kids that want to fit a social stereotype instead of strong-willed individuals that actually life and/or dress the way I do because they honestly can’t see themselves any other way. I’m not saying that I don’t have a choice about my appearance, because I most assuredly do, but I honestly can’t stomach looking any other way than the way I currently appear. It just doesn’t feel right. But my reasons for my appearance isn’t my point in this rant, so we’ll move on. I’ve signed up with a couple of dating services, just on a whim, and I’ve found that most of them cater to ‘normal upstanding citizens’ that don’t really walk on the side of life that I do. I know that there are a lot of single punks/goths/freaks out there, but there doesn’t seem to be a personals forum for them. Granted, we are a rather small section of society, but we’re usually populated with geeks that screw around with HTML a great deal, so you’d assume somebody would do something to rectify this situation. Apparently not.

While I’ve found a couple of interesting people via personals, most of the responses to my ad have been of this ilk:

1. One tried to bait me to start a flame war, all the while remaining adamant about the fact that they had been ‘nothing but polite’ while insulting me and/or my lifestyle.
2. Typical knuckle-dragging idiots that submit responses like “what do you look like?” and ” Do you wanna ‘get jiggy with me’?”
3. Weak ass porno. Tip for those submitting porno – Don’t use phrases like “I felt your sex lips gripping my member”. It makes you sound immature and uneducated. Get a medical dictionary for Christ sakes.
4. Romanti-grams. Sappy prose that is probably cut and pasted out of a textfile that they use over and over again.
5. Dominants looking for submissives. Even if the ad is OBVIOUSLY from an ALPHA female.

Then…as an extra added special treat, there are those that respond by sending you their personal ad and nothing more. This may work on people that aren’t looking for a personality, but if there’s that little substance to you, go out and construct a nice little personality OF YOUR OWN so that you can actually impress somebody enough to spend at least five minutes in your company, much less think about dating you. Ugh.

I need to relate to a person on multiple levels in order to be attracted to them. I don’t know if it works this way for others, but my take on the entire dating thing is that most of the people I run across in life I wouldn’t want to shake hands with, much less invite them into my bed. I’m doubly cursed because I’m extensively picky about those I decide to get involved with. Oh, that and I’m extremely high-maintenance, which also doesn’t help. Most people nowadays don’t have time to deal with somebody like me…Hell; I don’t have time to deal with somebody like me in a relationship. This makes things MUCH harder. Through all this, I’ve kept a rather positive/aloof attitude. It’ll either happen, or it won’t happen. Personals make the search more widespread, and they let you get to know somebody in the way that it matters the most without all the visual bullshit, but sometimes the result is still the same. It just doesn’t get any easier…

Last 5 posts by Rogue

• My Body, My Rules - October 3rd, 2006
• How to effectively communicate with women - September 6th, 2006
• Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce - September 6th, 2006
• Legalizing prostitution - September 6th, 2006
• On the topic of abortion - September 6th, 2006