this is so accurate. While I’ve never had to pay any type of support, everything else that you described has happened to me, which is why I stopped dating single women years ago. I think I was 26 when I finally wised up. I met an almost PERFECT female with a toddler. Whenever I wanted to go out, she almost never could go because of her son. I always ended up going over there, which was nice at first because she was HOT as hell, but looks only last for so long. Eventually, I ended things and learned to stop wasting my time with mommies.

Never have a relationship with a single mother baggage baggage drama can’t do this can’t do that don’t waste ur time and ur money wait to have a family of ur own leave the babysitting for when u have ur own kids.

I agree with this except for the part that most single mothers are so because of lying asshole men. Most of them are that way because of their own irresponsible behavior. And it says a lot about the mother’s personality when the father of her child won’t marry her after getting her pregnant. And if the father is a lying asshole…well, great choice in men.

I’m a single mother — went through a divorce I didn’t want. What do you men suggest I do if I want a healthy relationship? It is a huge concern to me. I have to agree that most men are scared away when they find out I’m a single mother. It’s heartbreaking to me, because I want better, not just for myself, but my wonder son and daughter. I love them very much and want to raise them to be great people.

Do any of you have any suggestions?

Sometimes it gets real hard you even start to feel resentment even jealousy towards a damn baby its not worth it all it does is destroy fragments of your patience and ego

I suppose all single mother should remain single and be alone the rest of their lives? just saying.

I am mixed on this. I know single mothers who are very sweet ladies. Smart, pretty, caring, in a word motherly.; but also passionate and adventurous and eager. My father dated and ended up marrying two single mothers, neither of these relationships worked in the long run, but I don’t think that is due to them having previous kids, other issues are certainly to blame. But for him loving single mothers wasn’t a problem at all. He enjoyed children very much.

I don’t think that single mothers should just be lonely the rest of their lives. I don’t think they should turn into spinsters. But here is my problem, and this is a problem that maybe all men don’t have, but I do….

I dated a single mother once, for about 8 months. She had a son. Nice kid, very smart. One day the kid called me “daddy”. It froze my blood in my veins. I was out after that. I’m sorry, but there is something way deep down, nestled in my core were I can’t get at it to remove it even if I wanted to, and that is the instinctive repulsion to the idea of raising another man’s children. It is simple instinct, genetics, biology. We want to pass on our own material, and the Male Lion comes out when we meet a desirable mate that has a cub by another male, we want to destroy it. I don’t mean directly, I would never propose to harm a child, but I mean we want to destroy the idea of it. A very fundamental piece of me resents the kid for being there. And that is no way to live.

So I split with her. I was not going to raise another man’s child. I wasn’t going to live a life resenting a kid for something that wasn’t his fault. And I wasn’t going to live a life with wedge between me and this beautiful smart woman. It’s just not something I could handle.

Very true James about it being kind of a primal thing with guys. At least in my experience her comfort level with the dad was like having two roosters in the hen house!

What exactly are the laws and cases of ‘Equitable Paternity’? My girlfriend is a single mother and has been begging me to move in with her. I don’t think we are mature enough in our relationship to move in together, so I keep telling her ‘not yet’.

She also has studied law to become a paralegal and I’m wondering if she’s found out about what you are talking about in #4 and is thinking something along the lines of ‘if he moves in with me and I like it, that would be great… but if it doesn’t work out, at least I get a check out of him every month’. I can’t help but be skeptical she brings it up all the time.

I don’t think it’s fair to put single mothers in the same catagory as ‘drug addict’ or ‘ex con’. Being a single parent is not a crime, or a disease. I agree with #1 & #2 – And I’m a single mother of one. The kid should always come first. If not, the mother should be considered a ‘drug addict’ or ‘ex con’ because it is just wrong to put anything before your child. However, the kid is number one priority, but your partner is #1 in the romance department. If custody is shared and you have sitters lined up, its not that hard to find balance between your child and your partner. It is harder to be intimate when ever you want, the kid might lash out if they see you kissing someone other than daddy. Or the mother might be too tired after working and chasing her 3 year old around all day. Being a single mother, even I generally wouldn’t advise any of my friends to date a single parent. However, there are some single parents who seem to have it together a lot better than others. And I know some men who would do great dating a single mom. But its not easy, it would be a lot easier dating someone with out a kid. Though sometimes, the easiest things are not always the most rewarding – or the best for you.

I absolutely agree with this post. However, it really depends on what kind of guy you are. For example, yes a single mom will A) work around her child’s schedule, B) have some form of parenting from other people or the father, C) be restricted by what she can do or where she can go, and D)have limited life not involving her child. This all could be a good thing because she has no time to play games, wants a serious relationship, and doesn’t party/drink much. However, my encounters with them is that women with kids are usually more picky and less tolerant (try figuring that one out), don’t have very interesting lifestyles, and are very independent and head strong.

So if you are a man that doesn’t need to do alot of interesting things to have fun; isn’t very assertive; and wants a more stable/predictable relationship over wild/unpredictable one then a single mom is good. If, like me, you live near New York City and want to different things, are head strong and hate planning your schedule around someone else, and don’t mind the unpredictability that comes with a woman that changes her plans then like the writer said, you should steer clear of any single mother on dating websites.

One other thing you will notice. You will spend 20% to 40% more time getting to know them online then with other types of women, except, the above average beauty queens. that’s my 2 cents

DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH SINGLE , MARRIED,
OR DIVORCED MOTHERS!

I see everyone’s view and am currentlt involved with a
young single mom.Just giving tidbits of my life story and
the story of us,one,I know she is God’s gift to me ,no
matter who or what.Two,my feelings are unconditional
and undying for her,yes,I have gone fromlove to in love!
In short we are both people from a not so good part of
town,life and what we see and do,seen and done are
alot different then most.Yes we are people of color and
life,including,relationships,is/are different. Yes she is a
single mom by and because of typical unworthy and useless guys.And more than likely all that love was more
than likely,and usually,alot of LIKE AND LUST. Some
good news the first child’s father is out the picture,the
bad news AND drama why we really can not get together is the second child’s father is.She wisingly dumped him almost two years ago,after not only screwiing around ,but got the other chick pregnant.
SHE SAID ENOUGH! Cut him out,takes nothing from him,
struggles daily on her own with the kids,and has all this
over her head keeping her from at least a SHOT at the
good life.FOR HER,and maybe females like her,a man,not
GUY,like me is a CATCH. I have all my own everything,no
one or body is looking for me,I’ve been there,done that,
and maybe above all,NO DRAMA WITH WOMEN AND NO
KIDS!!!! It’s going on 1 1/2 years and we still have not
really hooked up. And i know why,and she has stated
why,IN A WAY!! She always always been rather half ass
on us really talking and dealing with this. Yet I have been patient,pretty giving and willing,but not overdoing things.ALL N ALL she still will not fully come to or jump
on a good thing.She hasn’t REALLY said it,but the ex has
some bs over her,or put some type of fear or doubt
in her.Mainly by holding the daughter over her headwith
I asuume a bunch of threats or drama. I praise her for
ALWAYS,putting her kids first. But it frustrates me her
not cashing in this WINNING LOTTERT TICKET,me!!!. I’m
no king with a king’s ransom,just know I’m a CATCH and
bring ALOT to the table.Especially for a neighborhood
girl who is a pretty,sweet,loyal,yet single struggling mom. It may not work for us either,but she will not jump
and give us a shot at least to find out.
Bottomline,and why do I at least deal.Simple for the first
part,if it is meant to be,it will. Yes,she needs to standup
wakeup,and at least smell the coffee.It IS,actually,her
loss.Unlike most ,especially single moms,they NEVER,
get their shot at Mr. Right. A REAL MAN who really puts them first,including the kids,or HER KIDS. Second I am 47,and she is 29.I am FAR FAR from lonely or pervy,what
I am is old school.experienced,been there,done that,see
the WHOLE picture not just a PART,and have finally developed much faith and patience. Last ,it is ALL God’s
Will and Plan,and HE ALSO allowed me to fall in love with
her,and want her and her kids to be safe,happy,and get
the best!!

all I can say is when you have some one that you love and cant get them uot of your mine .that is me .my partner for 34 years yes he is gone for good .Iam looking for a gay man and he is in his 30to40 and is will to be on my side till the end of time for me about 30 to 40 years or so .can say this on here . Iam in need of a gay man that has a and up to a 12ins and can keep in all night or he runs out of gas .Im hiv neg and Im going to stay that way.all the men that need me he is hiv neg to if not by by by .

Time is short, all women have a selfish side. A single mom, having had her feelings and hopes betrayed by a men can not be expected to be loyal to you %100 percent. Besides, YOU WILL BE NUMBER 2 in the list forever!!!…. If a man’s most important attribute is his integrity, than being number 2 is NOT Acceptable, this is because if a man goes beyond out of his way to show a woman how much he loves her, a single mom will never acknowledge this because no matter what a guys does, he IS STILL NUMBER 2…..pretty sad but true…. and Yes, I agree that young single mom’s looks more for security, and WON’T love a man for who he his, but rather, what he can provide; which is also pretty sad but true….. Thank you.

I am glad this form is up on this issue. I have been seeing this single mom for 8 months now and the kids dad has been in jail for almost a year and will be getting out in five months. There have has been a past Domestic Violence dispute and the fact that he is a drug dealer which broke them up.

To make a long story short 1,2 and 3 have happened. On top of that I feel like she will not open up to me, show me some affection other than sex. She is beautiful and I want this to work out but why am I going back to this abuse.

Babys dad sent the mom a birthday card and I read it and it was heart breaking how he described me. Wrote things like ” I hope the Square is a temp” and “lets work this out, when I get out of jail”.

I want to just not talk to her anymore unless she txts or calls because this is emotionally damaging to me.

Most women replying to this entry are avoiding the truth. Anyhow, let me tell a bit of my story. Some time ago I met a divorced woman with two kids from her failed marriage. At that time I wasn’t very judgmental and I regret this. Some people told me not to marry her but in the end we got married.

As I look at this marriage today I can’t believe how ignorant I have been throughout the years. I have experienced #1, #2 and #3 and I have come to realize that I need to get myself out of this marriage. I have realized that I’m not just no. 2 in her life, but #4. Any inputs that I make towards parenting for our kids are not taken seriously. Example, our eldest daughter is struggling with attention problems and it’s affecting her school work. I suggested we take her for an evaluation but my wife decided that she’ll consult with her uncle on the issue. I have never felt so disrespected in my life. Nevertheless, I never bothered to ask what they had decided. But now things are turning sour, the teacher told said the kid must repeat the grade. My wife suddenly thinks the kid must go for an evaluation. Did it have to come to this? Does the fact that you have never made a woman pregnant mean you know nothing about child rearing?

The baby daddy issue is true. I found that my wife will often invite the ex (“to check on the kids”) without even consulting me. She doesn’t want the kids to go visit their dad as stipulated in their divorce documents because “he’s irresponsible”. It sucks to be the third wheel in a relationship and I wouldn’t advice anyone to date a single mother, ever. My wife is currently desperate to try for a child but I wouldn’t like that to happen. How do you justify having a kid with a person you don’t respect? I would like to quit and start a new life altogether but I’ve bonded with the kids and wouldn’t like to hurt them. I want to be a role model in their life but I realize it’d be much better to leave things as they are and move on.

To conclude, never, I repeat never, date a single mother. Sometimes sacrificing for someone else will leave you miserable and that’s just not the way to go through life.

I dont know why you dated those single mums if you’re not really into them.so whats on your mind is just getting your snake out of your pants.Give your semens to those who needs it and stop dating single mums cos they’re already have their tough time from guys not just you… i feel pity for you cos i guess you cant get a proper woman to like you so you look for single mum who craves attention.im lucky i didnt meet any man just like you… i wish you may rest in peace soon…

There are some real prize idiots in this thread, no wonder you haven’t found anyone, and quite frankly you never will or it won’t last…..
your mindset is exactly the same as those men that us single ladies have left / divorced.
Your lack of intelligence and cynical opinions both astounds and infuriates me.

i dont need a man, im happy without one, if I do find a good man it will be a bonus but its not a necessity!

im very independant, still young at 29 with long dark hair, blue eyes, pretty, slim, have a gorgeous daughter, a good job, mortgage, what someone else earns is of no importance but the fact that they are hard working is of great importance, as is their integrity and compatibility to at least some of my interests.

Even when i’m 59 i will look back on my life with no regrets knowing i havent spent it looking for a specific type of person on the internet to make my life complete, seriously if you’re not happy with living with just yourself how can anyone else want to live with you? desperado…

Moreover, I will never ever clean up after a man, rush home to cook his dinner and wash his pants so that he loves me and stays with me so im not alone as someone mentioned above… hahaha jeez seriously? what an utter joke, any self respecting woman would not do this, if a man does not see you as an equal, get shot. quite simple.

good luck ladies, dont let these idiots bring you down, and dont waste your pretty on the ars*holes, use your instinct and intuition XX

I was dating a single dad, and in his own words had told me that I will always be number 2

HA! Reading all of this is mind blowing to me! I am currently married with two beautiful little girls. I will soon be a single mother as my husband (who I don’t despise completely) has done things to me that are not okay and has broken our vows. I know that once it’s finalized and over, I’m going to enjoy myself and put myself first (yes, first…even over my girls as it’s neccessary to build my self-esteem after such heartbreak). I am not looking for man anytime in the near future, just fun times as I had before and during marriage.
I am the same girl as I always had been, just this time with children and now a failed marriage, but that doesn’t define me at all. In fact, I’ve come across more phsycho childrenless single women through my male friends than any other!! “Regular” single women have baggage just like “regular” single men. Previous bad relationships, broken home or whatever…EVERYONE has baggage! My girls mean the world to me, BUT I mean the world to me too and if I’m not putting myself first (especially when the time comes that I do meet another great guy) then I know we wouldn’t work out. I think the upside to being with a single mother is MOST (not all) know exactly what they want. She won’t WASTE YOUR TIME! I know I wouldn’t. I have an awesome carreer and have had it before I got married and had children, so I don’t need a “meal-ticket” but I also don’t want a man who doesn’t have his shit together either. With a “regular” single girl, though she thinks she knows what she wants, she doesn’t have the experience to have figured it out. With that, a man has WAY MORE issues? Now, not all women are perfect but neither are all men. It’s so immature to always put down the women and very typical but I have met (in my short lifetime of 30) the lamest men. In fact, ALL my male friends have baggage that doesn’t all include a bad realtionship with a woman, just drama they decide to hold on to.
Bottom line, the only couples that will have success are two people who know what they want and make one another happy, regardless of children, previous marriage or whatever…that’s just a cop out. If the girl was a money hungry lying crazy person with children, she was probably like that before children…

really..its more fool them for dating you in the first place! Lets just hope you dont end up a divorced dad of a brood and then see how you find the dating scene! never say never!

I am single gal no kids been where these men have with dads who have there kids an are responsible dads . Least u got give most these moms who have kids where the men arent in the picture where they have do everything without the fathers a lot praise its not easy job when u are a mom u have put ure kids first esp when the dads are lousy that dont want anything do with there offspring . Some the women are not easy to deal with but if u had be responible make sure kids are tooken care of fed watched have a roof over there heads an food in stomachs u wldnt be critical of single moms . I had a friend ex one i met her ex husband i und why he had rough time with her . I believe it takes 2 to tangle there are 2 sides to every situation an when u are a parent u put ure child first even before ureself an your mate an most men dont understand or see that though there are a few out there that do get it cause i seen some great men that are terrific stepdads my oldest brother is one of them .

I agree and do not agree. Not all single moms are bad but the ones that are do push my buttons. I know a single mom that stays out all day and drinks almost all the time. She still went to drink even though her child was sick. Her aunt was watching the kid but she went home to put her back to bed. I am sorry if your child is sick you need to be home and not out drinking. I would understand if the person could not miss a day of work because they needed to pay the bills but to drink is wrong. Plus, to take care of a child with a hangover is wrong. Kids need full attention from their parents to make sure they are not doing stuff they are suppose to. Plus, some single dads do this too.

There is a lot of ignorance in this thread.

I have been dating a single mother for 5 years now, and it has been the single hardest thing I have ever done.

It’s a simple as this – the relationship will never be balanced, you as the step parent will always be sacrificing more and giving more of yourself so that the relationship will work. If you are unwilling to submit to this arrangement, the relationship will not work. So it comes down to two options – you love the person so much that you are willing to carry most of the sacrifices and burdens of the relationship, or you don’t and so it doesn’t work out.

There are two kinds of decent single mothers:

1. The single mother that makes peace with her situation/decision to be a mother and realizes that she isn’t entitled to a man willing to sacrifice so much just so she can be in a relationship – so she finds happiness in raising her child and devoting her life to being the best mother in the world.

2. The single mother who realizes that relationships require equality and balance – this woman honors the man willing to sacrifice so much to be with her, so that man feels appreciated and is reassured as to why he fell in love with her. Because so much of the man’s life is affected by her decision to have a child before him, the woman takes extra care to show the man how much she realizes his hardship. There are a million ways she can demonstrate this, ranging from not comparing him to “wealthier, better looking men” to taking care of most of the housework, to taking on the role of the provider of the household, etc. There are endless ways to balance the equation so the relationship has an equilibrium, it’s just up to the single mother to pick up her end of the weight.

If you aren’t either of these two options, you aren’t a good person, much less a good mother. I feel sorry for you child, as they truly are the ones who are most at lost for your ugliness.

..so many selfish egotistical idiots writing here, and so little time to read their about their stupidity damn..!!

Listing if you get yourself with a single man with a kid or kids you both will be able too help each other and try to balance it all out .It not the end just pick up the pieces and move on.

Being a single mum is great it is a GREAT filter for all the narrow minded self centred assholes Real men are hard to find.
Oh and ladies ‘ Never date a man that feels threatened by a 5 year old’ REAL men DO exist

I think the writer of the article was very articulate and he brought out his points in an intellectual manner without name calling. I see the responses from the ladies and no doubt it is frustration; They are ripping the writer in a very uncalled for manner. You could agree or disagree, but there is no need to go into the gutter. He also stated these women have 1 child. I am sure many have more. He is right on the money about men being forced to pay child support that were simply being heartful during the relationship. I have read stories about that. In all fairness to the ladies. Not all were knocked up. Once upon a time many of these ladies , I am sure were happily married or at least thought they were. It is unfair on the other side to call these women sluts.

I am a single mom and the father of my son is a broke down piece of shit and an abuser thats why i left him and any man who is lucky enough to be in mine and my sons life should feel blessed. if a man cant except that i have a kid then he aint worth my time and every man on here thatis talking shit can go fuck them selfs. What do you think your mothers would say about you if they saw this, they would disown yalls asses. I am independent and a great mom i dont need a man to pay my bills and most women who dont have kids are only out for a man who has money so guys get over your self, Women run this shit with out us yall wouldnt be shit. And by yall saying never date single mothers than i guess every women shouldnt date a guy with kids and 98% of men have kids so good luck on jackin off cause with this immature attitude thats all you men are going to get.

The article only scratched the surface of few obvious and undeniable reasons why men should never date a single/divorced or separated mothers. A mother should dedicate her resources to her children and the man that she agreed to have a child with in the first place. These single mothers are divorced or separated or single because of their own doing. Single mothers who are dating are at the least thieves and even murderers to say the least. They are thieves, because they are taking resources and assets from their what should be “Family” and share with outsiders. They are selfish placing their own desires, needs and wants ahead of their own child dragging them from relationship to another giving the impression directly and indirectly that any of these men are much deserving and better than the child’s own father. Additionally, these women are murderers, because they halted their own family from the plan they had with the father to have additional children and raise them together in same household. It is time for men to wake-up and stop dating these women to give reconciliation with the fathers ample chances for the sake of the children. These women are narcistic or suffer from Borderline personality disorder. That means at one time the father was considered valuable and worthy of their love and admiration to have children with. Then, when they view themselves as superiors, they believe that their men became inferiors and they put them down. Therefore, they go after manipulating and victimizing other men who they view as superior or better suited to get their own goals and needs met. But only temporarily before the cycle kicks in and they view the new men as inferiors, because of their own personality. There is hardly treatment for that. Men should stop encouraging children abuse and get out of single mothers’ lives so that it discourages other women from divorcing and abusing their men with child alienation. Yes, these women are easy sexual target, because they are using all they have to manipulate their new target that they temporarily perceive superior.

I had recently left a relationship with a single mother of two kids. We had an amazing reationship which lasted 3 years. I am sad to say that i don’t think i will ever love someone as much as i loved this woman, but under the circumstances and complexity of our relationship, i have given up. The children were somewhat of a problem. yes. Expect a lot of her attention going towards the kids. This is normal and is good parenting. Regardless, you are already putting yourself second by choice. Another scare is the child support aspect. Ladies you can rant all you want about oh i would never expect a cent, etc etc but we all know when things fall apart woman become resentful and seek compensation. Men, its a risk you will be taking weather she is likely to or not. The children bless their hearts, are innocent. It’s unfortunate that these kids will meet men in their lives and become attached to them only to lose them if things go wrong between the parents. I guess what i am trying to say is i had no idea what i was getting myself into. The woman i ended up moving in with and living with for three was a single mother of two kids and i honestly thought i could handle it going in. After time, the kids ongoing presents became a major factor to me being irritated, but i tell you it is tolerable. Please be more concerned about the stability and mental health of the mother. She is what will make or break this unique scenerio. I’m sure it is possible to make these relationships work, but just like any partnership the woman was to be raised properly with morals, bitterlessness, willingness to work things out, and trust. My final words, speaking from my own experience with a wonderful single mom is, save her and her children the ride if you are one bit sceptical of the situation and look for a single woman without kids. Its not fair to them and the odds are it will not work once the romance period is over. -speaking from experience.. and ladies.. im a great guy with a big heart. i tried very hard and it just didnt work.

This is an awful thing to say!

That doesn’t mean the woman you want to date is no good. She can learn from the mistakes she made in her last marriage, hey we all make mistakes but some people just seem to blame everyone else and never seem to learn anything. Watch out for the woman that thinks she is perfect and he was a jerk. Especially if that’s her account of everyman she ever dated.

I’m a StepDad of 3 still hanging in the relationship trying to give my all, despite all the insecurity issues, time, affection, appreciation, even sexualness I don’t get. I still stick around for her and the kids. We both work but I make about 2x as much as she does, my check goes on her the kids and bills. All my time is spent on them but not at all reciprocated. Everything and everyone else is her priority, ie. Birthday parties (for children) all parades, holidays, anything she can take the kids to or do she does which makes absolutely no time for us or me. I still send her flowers to work for special occasions but most times just for the heck of it to tell her I love her.. I try relieving any of her stress I can just so she can focus on me a little but It never works out that way.. other than what I do for her and the kids I am pretty much an inconvenience to her. I have no children nor have I ever been married, we are both 28 yrs old. I love them to death but I am really asking myself if I could live the rest .of my life as an OPTION for her. I can’t say this about every single mother but this is my personal experience in which I am currently living.

StepDadof3
I’m sorry my friend,Im an American white man, I did it for years this is the typical nightmare story of being married to an American woman. Finally I just left for a beautiful Japanese lady and married her, Ive never been happier in my life, it almost killed me to leave my kids and I’m in pain about that still every day.
Some people might say im bad but you only live once its not my duty to be tortured and abused. Trust me on this lose some weight, find you a great foreign lady, preferably Asian or Russian and leave don’t ever look back and don’t ever date an American especially an American white woman again as long as you live.

Amazing how all the single mom’s come to their own defense, regarding the so called ‘defamatory positions” in lieu of this header. Its not the LIES they wish to protest, its the abhorrent truths they want to hide. Thanks to posts like these, MEN are becoming smarter and are less likely toget sucked and trapped in by these money-grubbing bitches.

SINGLE WOMAN, NO KIDS= career, financial independence, education, stability, free time and commitment to her man. SINGLE WOMAN, KID(S)= baby daddy drama, no money, low income, low income dwellings or Section 8 housing, food stamps, county medical insurance, NO free time, sporadic mundane fucks if your lucky, playing taxi cab to your new girl- she most likely wont have a car, is taking the city bus, or is driving some piece of shit she’ll talk you into fixing. Cosigner, as single mom’s mostly have shitty credit and will beg you to help with credit cards, car loans and bank loans for new clothes, make up and her much deserved vacation, the risk of getting trapped or getting her pregnant for a meal check/rent payment, or child support obligation, stories about and needed sympathy regarding the dead beat father, batshit craziness episodes, trust issues, marriage dialogue (she will want to be married to secure your financial security, expect this after 3 months and 3 good fucks to lure you in), and the search for a her baby’s new daddy. ALSO, a sigle girl has a sweet, tight cooze..UNLIKE a single mom, whose cooze has been stretched repeatedly with each cumshot and baby squeezed thru there. She’s soon feel like your throwing a hotdog down a hallway. At least the baby daddy who hit befiore you got yto enjoy a clean, tight, pink, moist cooze…you get the after effects of his creampie and kid wrecking ball.

STAY AWAY, stick to the single, tight bodied, hottie with no kids or baby daddy stank left behind. Your wallet, sanity, job, car and manhood will thank you.

Maybe the problem is that these women you are categorizing into this group of “single mothers” you are expecting to be looking for a man to “father” their child. Perhaps these women are just looking for that male in their life, not their childs. Maybe on a more intimate level to have adult conversations with, evenings or just weekends out, rondezvous, or a fling. While keeping the child out of the picture, especially if the child and father bond is very close keeping you the guy out of the picture would be what was wanted. Instead of assuming that the woman automatically wants you in her childs life is just simply ignorant. Woman want to have adult conversations instead of watching dora the explorer all day. Men arent all that-but you guys really do think you are. You have what women want, to a certain point. Then its best that you go back to your own home and call in a few days.

I didn’t get through this article really. I read the title then it was the second title that made me laugh……
‘Welcome to second place
When a woman has a child that child becomes the most important person in their life.’

This is so true, when a woman has a child, the child WILL take first place, so just questioning really….. if that is such a great concern amongst men, then when you find the none single mother of your dreams, you plan to make her happy by having a wonderful wedding (note- I do not say wonderful marriage, purposely at this point) and you plan a family. Then nine months later a new dependant enters your lives and you want everything to stay the same……

Will it?

No

Will you be number one still when your beautiful baby is wanting a feed every 4 hours, and your partner/wife is drained, and exhausted, irritated, hormonal and annoyed?

Doubtful.

Will you still have spontaneity within that ever so wonderful relationship?

Hey I want to tell you, you will.

If your so scared of becoming second, then don’t be planning children of your own.

Did you know, that single mothers have a better support network than married/coupled mothers. Reason being?

The coupled/married mother will probably tell others that ‘Everything is fine’ and pretend it really is, fully aware of the changes to the relationship. Less people help, because the married/coupled pretence shines through so brilliantly. I’m not saying ALL couples. I’m saying most. Some relationships really do shine that brilliantly after child, forever. No honestly I mean it, FOREVER.

However the single mum has a strong, brilliant support network. People are wanting to help. They want to see happiness for this family of mother and child and are willing to help in every way to ensure this, happy mother means happy child, afterall.

So there’s just some facts for you.
You can live happily ever after forever with your wonderful new date and have the family dream of ever after, just the two of you (and the in-laws probably) and the kids.

And therefore stay well clear of the single mother with wonderful support network, which she will likely have for the rest of her life (and therefore so will you).

Yes. I think that’s a great idealism. You stick to your idealisms whilst she sticks to the reality. Good for you guys.

Though one cannot make a blanket statement about single mothers, if they have a child at a relatively young age 22 for example, and have not yet established a life of their own (completed college, steady job etc) it may not be wise to pursue a relationship with them. If they have a kid at such a young age when they have not yet established themselves financially in life, one can conclude that they have not made good decisions in the early part of their adult life.

For instance I dated a single mom, she was clearly a bit self centered, and lacked self confidence in herself. In addition she had not yet graduated from college/ she dropped out. This should be a warning sign to anyone who is approached by a single mom. You have to consider the situation your walking into before you really get involved. If she has two kids and no degree, HEAD FOR THE HILLS LOL

I wised up, and got out of their needless to say

The Truth of Singlemotheritis

First things first. I am the dreaded Single Mother.
Secondly, I have 2 children, an ex husband and a boyfriend.

Thirdly

Single motherhood is boring on your own. The ex husband still plays a very active roll in the little ladies lives, the boyfriend also plays a very active roll in the little ladies lives. In fact we’ve all just come back from a trip to euro disney. Much enjoyed by all. There are so many sides to this.
1/ if you date a single mum, yes the kids will always come first (they didn’t ask to be born)
2/ New man shouldn’t have to pay for kids(bed and lie in it and all that)
3/halfs on man/woman nights out. I pay for kids for everything.
4/In fact I pay for new man for family outings even though he earns 3 times the amout I do. i’ve paid for 4 out of 5 holidays. amybe he’s getting more out of this than I.

Maybe best to steer clear of single mad mothers if you want to continue the family name lol.

There is definitely a point to the above article, but I think it is important to realize that it is hard to generalize. Single moms are not so bad. No reason to hate. I think it is hard to generalize because some single moms are great and some non moms can be very difficult.

Plus, how old are you? If you are under 30 and are not in a hurry to start a family, it may be best to not get into a relationship with a mom, since many non parents are available. But if you are over 30-35, and date enough, eventually you will also eventually probably date a parent. That’s just life. If you like her, try it. Don’t just say no because she has a kid, unless you really feel that way. Lots of single moms are great.

Not all single moms can be put into one category. Obviously, a divorced corporate lawyer with a kid is going to be different than a minimally employed mom with several kids from different dads. But hey the lawyer could be a real psycho and the minimally employed mom could be a great lover/partner. It obviously really depends on the individual and their situation. And you should follow your heart.

Successful couples always figure out a way to balance responsibilities with romance and other priorities. Some single moms will actually treat you better than non moms because they often do have a problem with guys sticking around for the long term and are experienced enough to know how to treat their guy better.

If you think of yourself as more of a player or not looking for something more serious, you should probably not date a single mom. Even if she tells you it is casual, trust me that will change if she likes you enough. I think it is important for a guy dating a single mom to realize that sooner or later he is probably going have to really commit to her by moving in, marrying her, etc., sooner rather than later. The stakes are higher with single moms for them and for you.

Many single moms, especially the younger ones, want to get married and have more kids, eventually, before their age begins to limit their potential partners. Though some moms want to remain independent of commitments, many would love to have a partner that they count on. They will probably expect more commitment more quickly than non moms and you should go into the relationship knowing this is quite possible and highly probable. If she’s younger and attractive and could find another guy more easily then eventually she may get sick of waiting for you to commit and dump you. So, don’t get too deep into a relationship with a single mom if you want to just date and have more casual relationships.

Sure, single moms have casual sex partners, and some one don’t ever want to get married again, but in mine and my friends’ experiences single moms tend to want a family, a husband, or live in boyfriend, especially, if they are on the younger side. A new boyfriend, husband, or lover is important oftentimes in terms of the identity she projects to her friends, other single mom’s friend, her ex, her parents, etc. See I did find someone else.

But hey it is hard to generalize. So then again single moms do have recreational sex and causal sex partners too. You’ll find that some single moms don’t want you to meet their kid till much later and just want to have fun, especially if they just got out of a marriage, for instance. So, it may depend on what sort of stage the single mom is at in terms of what she might want from men.

If you date a single mom, and i think this advice would also work for dating single dads, be aware of some caveats. It is challenging to date a parent and you will have to make compromises that you are not used to. The kid(s) can be challenging. Do not assume that they will warm up to you, they might not ever, be patient, do not try to discipline them, let the parent take the lead on how to interact with them. Obviously, it is a balancing act and kids of single parents will act out and may even try to drive you away or have mixed feelings about you. But, be nice and accommodating and caring and show the single parent you respect their kid and them as a parent.

Just like in any relationship make sure you are not being used and your partner is worth the energy you put into the relationship. Set some boundaries and expectations. Just like any other man or woman with or without kids, they might be the wrong person to trust. Often, single moms tend to have large social networks and often have lots of guy friends and ex-boyfriends who get rotated in and out of the picture. She’s learned relationships are not permanent and it is best to have some male attention or help on tap when needed. So check her out carefully if you are looking for a relationship. Be wary if she has too many close guy friends because it may mean she really considers you part of a tribe guys where you have certain functions and other guys have other funtions. Single moms often outdo their younger, childless competition in flirting and being on the lookout for the next guy or a sex buddy because they have to. They can’t go out like they used to, so they often organized things socially to keep themselves in the game. Keep the passion and sex and surprises flowing with single moms, which can be challenging. If you get complacent, they’ll get bored of you.

But hey, you are making a bigger sacrifice and a commitment to be with a single mom, you should expect nothing but mostly great treatment from her. Same thing for women dating single dads. He should treat you really well if you interact with him and especially his kid alot, and of course even if you don’t. if she treat you like a spoiled college girl who does not know what she wants, then just go find that spoiled college girl. If you are not getting treated well, try to fix it, but if you can’t, leave her. If she is really drama or high maintenance or too self centered and expects you to take on more and more responsibilities with the kid, dump her, because she should treat you well if you treat her and her kid well.

Any woman can use you and cheat on you, but when a single mom does it to you, it is especially painful because she expects so much loyalty from you. So, date single moms but be careful not to get used. Make sure that you don’t devolve into the taken for granted househusband because then you won’t excite her anymore. Sure be nice but that does not mean that you should never expect one on one time with her or that it becomes your job to take her kid to school while she does yoga.

I think that is why they get a bad rep because it is especially painful when you are making that effort to make it work with the fact that they are mom and they want you around for the kid’s and appearances’ sake but in they are really treating you disrespectfully. Lots of guys get burned by a single mom because they become too domesticated and ironically they become a domestic accessory more than a boyfriend. And on, the contrary many single moms are very nice and perfectly reciprocal because it is the right thing to do and because they realize that it might be hard to replace the guy who seems to complete her life and gets along with the kid and respects that she is a parent, if she gives the guy a reason to leave her.

Just like other women or men, some single moms should be stayed away one from because they are users and cheaters. One friend of mine was dating a single mom who slowly but surely set up the relationship so that him and her would do only domestic hangouts and she went out with her girlfriends at night while he babysat her kid, which he did to be nice. Needless to say, eventually, he figured out that he was actually babysitting her kid while she was off with other men. But, he did it to himself really.

So, be careful, because when a kid is involved there is more at stake, and you should make sure that your love is truly reciprocated as in any relationship and get out when it is not.

I am an intelligent, well educated, career driven, financially savvy, independent, and incredibly sexy-single mother; with plenty of men crooning at my feet. Men I like, men I string along, men I might consider, men whom are friends, none-the-less all men who are adamantly, shamelessly interested in me and beyond willing to occupy any responsibility that comes with me. I am that hot. That smart. That cool.

If you knew me, you’d want me too. Just “saying”.

I have no intention of getting into any serious relationship with any man I date. I love my life as a single parent! I get the best of both worlds, a wonderful daughter, great home life all to myself, and I date without any plans of settling down.. At least until after she’s out of the house, if ever. I get to be selfish with myself and my time, love doing my own thing, get lot’s of gym time, and who could complain about that. I never demand time from men or commitment, or even for them to join me because I’ll do what I like with or without them. There is no revolving door of boyfriends because every man who wants to date me is completely willing to work with my availability.

As for SEX… (since god we all love and need sex) it’s this lovely little arrangement we call “friends with benefits”. We (smart) single mothers use this technique to still get laid while being able to stay single, still meet potential favorable men, while also still keeping our numbers down. Yes. Fool around with just one and date the rest. Just watch out you lucky few men who might score a single mom like me, once a friend with benefits, you won’t stand a chance not to fall in (gasp) love.

If you could only see my smile as I type this because of how true it actually is.

I find it funny how much so many of you don’t want to date a single mom when every man I meet falls head over heals for me, single mom and all. Every available man I meet finds himself at the mercy of taking that chance to get to know me and every one of them falls for me. Every man I have given the chance finds himself desperately wanting this single mom. And these are FINE men. Manly men, smart men, talented men, rich men, well hung men, MEN, not “pussies” (a mans word) not generally desperate men, mens’ men. The kind of man I like. Delicious kind of men. Every one of them even loved me enough that they are still my friends though I refused to commit.

God I love my life as a single mom! I am just bad-a**.

So all you huffy men out there too scared to date a single mom; stop crying. Not all of them want to date you either. The single mom’s whom are lame, were lame as an individual to begin with, not as a mom; and that’s bad judgement on your part. BELIEVE me, there are single mom’s out there you’d LOVE, want, do anything for. The stuff of dreams (just ask the many men who shamelessly loved me).

Other single mothers: Check in with yourselves and prioritize. Who the hell needs a man? I plan on staying single at least until my daughter is out of the house and I LOVE IT! You do the same. No man, actually most men, will ever love your children the way you do and that is just a cold hard fact that you need to face. So might as well dedicate yourself to your children and yourself. Stop pressuring these guys into committing or taking on the daddy role that clearly few of them want to take. There is NOTHING wrong with being alone and you will find it quite enjoyable. Just think of all those times your man was finally out of the house and you thanked “god” that you got to pamper yourself! Imagine a LIFE of that. It’s really quite nice. Find men who are willing to be your friends, they’re the ones who will end up loving you. You DON’T need a man to step in as daddy. Your child will be just as happy if not happier with JUST YOU.

Best wishes!

PS. I will never check this forum again because I couldn’t care less what arguments people might pose.

Yeah you single mothers can say what you like but you cant really have a good look at yourselfs and give an honest opinion about your situation or what your tendencies are or not..

A good mate of mine was dating a single mother and he too got fucked over by her. Thank god i found this article because it really has opened my eyes more so than what happened to my friend. Start it fresh keep it simple…

Who in their right minds wants an x as baggage on top of a child to get in the way of a relationship when there are millions of gorgeous women out there with no baggage and ultimately a happier life. More holidays, weekends free, no chance ur gonna be paying child support for somene elses blood years later and no emotional attachment from the mother with the father of the child as a result of the baby.

People deserve to be warned about this i find the comment above about your mothers being ashamed of you hillarious, to be honest im pretty sure shed be proud for being more intelligent than the ones that got roped in and fucked over like a vending machine with no lock hell bitches would take it all.

Ultimately DONT GO NEAR SINGLE MOTHERS, find an unspoilt unsoiled respectable woman with some brains and maybe knows how to use contracepton.. my 2 cents

And furthermore, I can guarantee that if anyone of you dorks saw me in person you would be tripping over yourself to date me. As a young, educated, successful single mom though I have the luxury of being extremely selective, seeing that I have everything I want, and anything more is just extra goodness for me. So sorry you losers didn’t make the cut with the single moms you dated.