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“Frigid”. “Distant”. “Limited”. “Restrained”. “Incapable”. “Juvenile”. “Immature”. “Empty”.

How many hurtful things can a person say to somebody that chooses to be monogamous in the social soup of polyamory that seems to be everywhere? Somebody that chooses to be almost painfully particular about their choice in given intimate partners? Somebody that doesn’t want to walk through a room of people and be groped simply because they’ve got tits.

You’d be surprised at how nasty people get.

“You need to lower your standards.” “Well, it’s your own fault that you can’t find anybody. You’re just too picky.”

This feels an awful lot like a mantra for people who settle – those who deal with what’s available, because it’s the only thing open to them, or so they think. Those people who are apparently so uncomfortable with the fact that I’m single – strongly, boldly single, that they feel the need to ‘get me laid’ or ‘get me coupled up’ so they can just relax.

Then there’s always the fun, all purpose snipe of the rejected male: “You don’t want me touching you? You’re too ‘insert all-purpose expletive here’ sensitive.”

Just because I am a woman, and I am sensual and hyper-sexual, does not mean that I’m an orifice to be used – or a body to be handled simply because somebody else is ‘in the mood’ and ‘interested’. Just because you have a cock doesn’t make you my master – and doesn’t give you the right to force your touch on me when it’s unwelcome. And you don’t have the further right of calling my a frigid dyke when I don’t want to let you place your hands on me. It’s MY body, and I get to say what happens to and with it.

Keep your hands to yourself until you can show some fucking respect.

The thing that feels the worst – like worms in my stomach, is when people push their version of what a happy relationship *should* be in my face to force me to conform, only to turn away with a distasteful _expression on their faces when I choose to walk my own road. I’m the one to be pitied, because I simply ‘don’t get it’ or know ‘how the world really works’.

When I say that I’m willing to wait until ‘the one’ comes along, people tell me that I’m addled. That I clearly don’t have a grasp on reality – because ‘nobody ever gets what they really want in a relationship anyways’.

A lifetime of halfhearted sexual couplings that end with an uneasy feeling do not a fulfilling love make. I’d rather wait until something more sublime stepped into view. This way I can honor myself, and my partner, with the mating. And give the shining honor to love that it truly deserves.

But – this is my bliss. And I don’t go out of my way to force it on others.

I’ll tell you what. You find your bliss your way, and I’ll find mine. And I won’t even get all offended about it. Because there is no offense – until you push your views on me, or anybody else.

Monogamy/polygamy/polyamory – life is what it is.

Identify with what makes you happy, and live in it to the peak of your passion.

Just don’t expect me to live the same way.

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