In American society we are taught that love conquers all and that if you have love, nothing else matters and everything will be right with the world. The harsh fact we don’t put in greeting cards or tell our children when we’re trying to prevent them from having sex is that love, even true love, is not enough. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, John Cusack and your parents conspired to convince you of a horrible lie.

It’s important for people to have a realistic perspective on love as unrealistic expectations tend to ruin relationships. Just because a man forgets a birthday doesn’t mean he doesn’t love the woman he’s with. If a woman doesn’t feel like having sex for a week that doesn’t mean she loves her man any less. The simple fact is that the feeling of love is independent of action.

Love doesn’t last forever

If I was to tell you I knew a woman who was 42 year old and just got engaged to be married what would you say? Chances are you’d ask the typical question, “Is it her first marriage?” In a society where most marriages end in divorce it’s a reasonable question. People tend to ignore the real question you’re asking. Is this her first, second, or possibly third time she’s committing to, “love, honor, and cherish till death do us part?” The fool hardy concept that true love lasts forever forces people to belittle past relationships. “Well I must not have really loved him/her because things ended after only a year or two.” The truth is even love has an expiration date.

It takes more than love to change a person

He’s not going to put the bottle down just because he loves you. She’s not going to give up her career just because you love her. Love can’t substitute for the desire for a child or take the place of a life long dream. People have many desires, wants, and needs that are independent of love. Love simply isn’t enough.

Love does not conquer all

Right now a woman is in the hospital telling the police she won’t press charges against her husband for beating her. She won’t press charges because she thinks he loves her. People pretend she’s crazy, that he couldn’t possibly love her and do such horrible things. The truth no one wants to hear is she’s right, he does love her, but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t leave. She may be in love, but love is not enough.

I am truly in love, but that’s not going to prevent my relationship from ending.

Last 5 posts by Captain Bill

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