Is porn cheating? Not unless you’re starring in one.
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Looking at porn is a lot like eating out at a restaurant – there a wide variety from which to choose, some of them aren’t even remotely good, a few require more money than others, and if you don’t pay close attention to the rating before opening the door, you could be in for a real interesting surprise.
But, perhaps more important than all of those things is one’s reasons for choosing a particular restaurant. Just because you go out to eat doesn’t mean you hate the food you have at home – maybe you don’t even have food at home, as is the case with many of us – nor does it mean that the food at home is gross or old or unattractive. For most of us, eating at a restaurant is about trying something new, or going back to an old favorite. You may be intrigued by that smoky ethnic place on the corner, or all you may really want is to be satisfied by a yummy, reliable pizza. Discovering what you don’t like to eat is equally important, and sometimes you may try food that makes you scream in pain, or gives you a rash, but at least you’ve learned your lesson and can avoid those foods in the future.
Alright, so let’s say your significant other is like your own personal chef, and your computer with access to all the internet’s glorious porn is like a giant buffet where you like to eat a few times a week. After a time, your personal chef may wonder why you keep going out to eat if there’s perfectly edible food at home. I find that they usually ask this if they’ve never seen a buffet, or have only been to one and it was really weird so they never gave it another shot. The benefits of a buffet are variety and accessibility, which also happen to be two of the things that draw most people to porn.
There are some negatives associated with buffets, of course – overeating being one of them. If you’ve stopped eating at home altogether and you spend all day stuffing your face at the buffet, then obviously, something is wrong with the food at home, or your palette has gone bad, and I suggest spending some quality time with your chef to try and resolve the issue.
However, if you only eat out a few times a week, but still prefer home-cooking, I say you have nothing to worry about. Sometimes you’re on the lookout for new menu ideas, or want to sample different flavors just out of curiosity. At times, you may want to share these new recipes with your chef, who may or may not like it… but don’t knock it ‘til you try it, right? But just because you eat kabobs one day and fried chicken the next doesn’t mean you’re screwing the person who made the food. …Unless you are, and then that’s wrong, of course.
If it’s one thing people need on a regular basis, it’s food. Most men will tell you they’ll die without food every day, and though some women choose to starve themselves, we all know everyone looks a little healthier and tends to be a lot happier when they eat really good food on a regular basis. Looking at porn is strangely similar. Instead of viewing it as a threat, see it as a healthy expression of sexual appetite. I won’t get into the whole psychology of porn viewing in men vs. women, but looking at porn isn’t like going out and picking up a hooker or going to a strip club. There is no personal interaction or attachment – it’s simply curiosity about a subject that our society usually tries to suppress. Being less judgmental about a partner’s interest in porn will not just make them feel less ashamed of their personal fantasies, but may even lead to a better understanding of your own desires, and thus a better overall sexual experience.
Bon appetite!
It’s this simple, if you’re with someone who doesn’t want you to look at porn you should dump them. Unless you don’t like porn and then you should get married and have a dozen kids in Utah.
I love the way most men attempt to justify thier “need” for pornography. Point is, your weak and sick. There are those out there that would rather get divorced than stop looking at pornography or admit there is a problem.
When I finally got my ex-husband to leave, he had on-line subcribtions to various sites, some more disgusting than others. One in particular boasted their “soft-core porn starring legal age 18 year olds” Well, my daughter just turned 12 and is 5′ 01″ already. Does anyone else see the problem here.
There are many ways to “cheat” and be unfaithful in a marriage. You don’t have to sleep or be with another person to be uncommitted and unfaithful. Yes, you can be unfatihful with your thoughts. Bullshit if you think it’s not.
Comparing it to a buffet - your an idiot.
Men shouldn’t have to “justify” their porn watching. It’s a much more complicated issue than anyone, male or female, would like to admit. First off, if looking at an image on a screen were directly equivalent to having an extramarital affair, I’m sure most men would opt for the affair, truth be told. In reality, they are two different things. In fact, porn is a kind of safety valve if you will. If you think how many times an affair will occur due to hormones triumphing over rationality, you can see that “getting it out of your system” with a picture or a movie would be much less harmful to a long term relationship, than sleeping with someone else.
The mainstream availability of porn is an acknowledgement that there are aspects of human sexuality that aren’t served too effectively by serial monogamy. Add to that the fact that modern life has got people stressed out and overworked, which men and women respond differently to. When men are stressed, an orgasm is the best thing to relieve that stress, which would make them more apt to seek one out. When women are stressed, sex is the last thing they want.
Interestingly enough, when women watch porn in scientific studies, even when they find the images “boring” or “objectionable”, sensory / measuring apparatus applied to their genitals indicates vaso-congestion and erectile blood flow, i.e. arousal.
First off all the men and women saying looking at porn is okay are sick. I hate the lame excuses men come up with and there girlfriends believe. All men do it, it’s normal, I’m not cheating. You ARE cheating!! It’s called emotional cheating. Also, if every guy in the world smoked crack and you found out that your man was smoking crack and he told you that “every guy does it” would that make it okay?? NO!!!!!!You are sitting there thinking of other girls, about having sex with these girls. That is cheating anyway you put it. I am sick of hearing it is normal. It’s NOT normal. If you are horny have sex with your girl or if she isn’t around find a picture of her and M***e to that. Why go and look at other girls? Another favortie thing guys like to say is, well, men feel the need to spread there seeds, it’s wired in there brain. DO YOU NOT HAVE SELF CONTROL?? Are you kidding me?? Or men have urges. So women don’t? It’s called self control people. Time to grow up. Porn is for SINGLE guys that can’t get any NOT for guys in a relationship unless you are watching it with your girl and you both enjoy it. Don’t lie, most men lie to their s/o about watch it too! Sad men, grow up, learn to have some self control!!