I know it can’t be that hard considering there are so many east coast transplants out here. And under no circumstance will I move back there to do it. California is my home, but I want to find someone who gets my New York “thing”. I am not just talking about my accent either. It’s my humor, my attitude, discussing a good bagel, nonsense sort of stuff that makes up life. I need someone who grew up with the same type of childhood, someone who got excited when there was a snowstorm and school was canceled. Not an earthquake kit. We went to summer camp with swimming pools, and when we got older we even went away to sleep-away camp. Not to Malibu, but out of state. I admit undeniably, that I am a snob and only find that I am drawn to New Yorkers.

They understand me, and there is this unconditional knowing that I don’t have to explain myself. They expect the outspoken and the honesty. Out here in good ol’ LA, people are very strange and on some level completely self-absorbed. Everyone has their own brand of humor. Or they are ultra-sensitive, and I am afraid of saying something that is not politically correct for fear of offending, which is bullshit. I don’t want to watch my p’s and q’s. That’s not who I am. Can I even call myself white or is that not being politically correct about myself?

That is why, I need, want and love dating primarily east coast men. They are funny. I have a dirty sense of humor and don’t have to feel embarrassed by saying something that I think will get misconstrued. The just get it, they laugh and appreciate it. There are no misunderstandings. California men and their image of the “California” girls are not chicks with a dirty sense of humor. The Barbie doll and hot pants look goes with the wallpaper humor if you ask me.

I will admit that I have tried the California men a few times. Upon this decision, I made a disclaimer when I did it. If and when the day would come that a California man asked me out and I decided to go (for some sick reason I have…) his parents, at least one, had to be born in New York, preferably one of the boroughs. This way I know that these men were brought up with a similar mother or father (or both) that have basic upbringing, mouth and attitude that I have. After s few on these dates, which were nice but not good enough to return for a second, I was thinking that I might have had more fun with their parents. (who were from NY)

It’s not nice to judge, but California Men don’t move at the same speed or have the personality that I am accustomed to. For me it is all about the banter. I like the verbal volley back and forth. And believe me, I am definitely all about the wild sex, it’s just the pillow talk I crave now that I have been alone for a while. Late night chatting about the day is something that my NY men expect to do. Their mothers never shut up, so they’re used to it. Hopefully with all the praying I have been doing to the almighty above, an unanswered prayer will be answered.

Until then, I am getting used to my own company and to be honest, I’m a pretty good listener.

Last 5 posts by Jill Asars

• Can we get everything we want in one man? - September 20th, 2006
• Women mourn, Men replace - September 20th, 2006
• The similarities between earthquakes and marriages - September 20th, 2006