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Fall is finally upon us, and the change of weather brings with it a change of attitude. The carefree, wildness of the summer months is pushed aside, replaced by the tame hibernation of the winter. It is a time for staying indoors, cuddling with a loved one before a roaring fire. The greatest accessory for this time of year is a significant other. Yet, despite the exaltation of Coupledom that the cold weather brings, each person undoubtedly knows at least one duo whose existence causes nothing but confusion and bewilderment. You find that you are constantly asking yourself, “Why is she with him?” After careful reflection and analysis, the answer becomes quite clear – she’s afraid of being alone. She has The Fear. This crippling fear is arguably the reason why most women who are stuck in dead-end relationships continue to do so, despite acknowledging the failings of their partner. Why else would an undeniably attractive, articulate, educated woman devote herself to a slovenly, unemployed simpleton who lacks ambition and drive? Why would a woman accept a man who is crass, insensitive – even abusive – when she inherently recognizes that their time together is heaving with unhappiness and misery? Clearly, it is The Fear that continually gives resuscitating breath to such dying unions.

Despite being raised to believe in Happily-Ever-After, True Love and soul-mates, the modern day woman has abandoned those lofty notions for a cynical alternate reality. In a city where women seem to outnumber men, and eligible men who want to be in committed relationships have become an anomaly, fairytale daydreams of finding love are no longer acceptable. In fact, such dreams that were once founded on hope and faith in a happy future, have been increasingly replaced by nightmares of loneliness and spinsterhood. And from these nightmares, The Fear was bred.

So how does one eventually vanquish The Fear? Although it is not a simple undertaking, it can certainly be done. The sole antidote for eliminating The Fear is Self-Love. Inherent in every individual afraid of living a life of solitude is an overall sense of insecurity; it is an irrational lack of self-worth that drives the individual to wholeheartedly believe that he/she is undeserving of love and companionship. Therefore, when someone comes along, albeit someone who really is not good enough, and is willing to at least feign love and devotion, The Fear is quietly quelled and replaced by relief. Unfortunately, when that same individual begins to slowly realize just how unworthy the mate is, The Fear resurfaces with a vengeance, overcoming any sense of confidence and autonomy and makes the individual completely and utterly afraid of being left alone.

To put it plainly – the world can be a scary place. No one wants to imagine braving the formidable future completely alone. And yet, oftentimes, being in a dead-end relationship with an individual who is completely unworthy of your love is like going through life alone. Sometimes, you are more alone with someone than without. It takes confidence and strength to say that you are worthy of someone who appreciates everything you have to offer. Most importantly, it takes belief in Love, however naïve it might seem in such a cynical world, and faith that you will find it, to truly and ultimately slay The Fear. Once The Fear is finally put to rest and removed from your life, Love will finally seep in. There’s nothing wrong with dreaming of Happily-Ever-After. Someday, your prince will come. It’s nice to imagine that your frog might eventually turn into the prince of your dreams. But remember – oftentimes, a frog is just a frog, warts and all.