The word “Potential” seems to be used by dating spin doctors to look at a negative trait in a positive light. “Sure he drives a Civic, but he has potential.” “I know he’s just a mechanic, but he has potential.” When a woman says a man has “Potential” what she’s really saying is that she plans on changing him. He might be happy with a modest job, car, and a two bedroom house, but she wants more, and rather than finding someone new she plans on changing the man she has into the man she wants.

If you find yourself in a conversation with a woman talking about your “Potential” know that she’s not giving you a complement, in fact it’s quite an insult. She’s talking about all the things you could be, all the things you aren’t. You might be blinded by her kind nature or disarming approach but the truth is you’re not what she wants. You might think she’s the only one who gave you a chance or that she’s the only one who sees how unique you are. I’ll even admit, she sees something in you that no one else does… someone else.

If a woman says you have potential what she really means is you’re not good enough… yet. Maybe after she badgers you into a career change you’ll make enough money for her. Maybe if she cries and complains enough she’ll emotionally blackmail you to stop going to play poker with the boys. In a relationship with a woman who sees your potential you can only be sure of two things. You’re not what she really wants, and she’s going to try to change you whether you like it or not.

Think about the person who made you happiest in your life. Just picture them smiling or cuddled with you on the couch. Would you ever say that they had potential? Absolutely not, they were what you wanted, they made you happy. If you want to be happy again than avoid the passive aggressive games. Avoid the calculated tears or subtle insults. If a woman tells you that you have potential, leave her and find someone who will appreciate you for who you are.

Being a single mother is not a crime. I have nothing but respect for single mothers and have no doubts that a good percentage of single mothers are so because of lying asshole men. That said regardless of how admirable they may be or decent a person there are several reasons you should NEVER date a single woman. Some of these reasons are listed as followed:

1. Welcome to second place
   When a woman has a child that child becomes the most important person in their life. I agree with this and think this is how it should be; a child is a great responsibility requiring unending patience, care, and attention. When dating a single mother it is then understandable that you come second in all dealings. Simply put you are less important. I’m not so egotistical as to want to be the center of a woman’s life, but I would like to be the main consideration.Think about it, you’ve had a long week at work and want to kick back. You call up a girl you’ve been seeing for sometime and there’s no one else you’d rather be with. “Would you like to go to dinner tonight?” “I can’t Timmy has a play.” “Maybe we could go down to the beach tomorrow.” “Timmy has soccer practice tomorrow.” “How about a movie Sunday?” “Well maybe, I guess we could see that new Disney movie about the singing gum drops. Then if we can tire out Timmy at Chucky Cheese we could put him to sleep early and have an hour or two to be adults before he wakes up.”
2. Restricted Area
   Having a child restricts the movement of the parent, especially a single parent. Remember when you lived with your parents and you wanted to get a little more intimate with someone? With a child it’s ten times harder for the parent. If you do see a single mother you have to contend with either sneaking around after the child’s bedtime (and trying to keep quiet) or you see her during the few moments she can get someone else to watch her child.
3. My baby’s Daddy
   Nature tells us that when you have a mother you usually have a father. Dating a single mother you should be aware of the role the father can play. Regardless of whether she tells you he’s a stubborn, insecure, deadbeat, abusive, asshole prick, he’s the baby’s father. Some place in her mind, how ever deep she (Most likely) entertains fantasies of them being a family. He is in a role that can never be taken away from him and this role often entitles him to come by any time he wants and in many cases they still have sex. “It’s just ___, he doesn’t even count.” And why should he, and why should she tell you anyway?”
4. Equitable Paternity “Best interests of the child”
   Let’s say you have no issue with her having a child. Hell he’s a cool kid and you even kinda like hanging out with him. Maybe one day she finds herself in a bind and you pick him up from soccer practice. Maybe you buy him some cool new toy for his birthday; it’s only twenty bucks and look how much he loves it. Well in the eyes of the court you may have just adopted a father role, and if you split up with the mother she can legally come after you for child support. Even if you only knew her for a year and only met the kid for a few months the court is forced to serve the best interests of the child.Once again the child’s interests are more important than your own. There are dozens of legal cases in which kind hearted men are penalized for years for showing kindness to a person in need. In one case a woman and her son were soon to be evicted from their residence. A former boss and close friend let them move in with him. After nearly two years he told her she had to leave, she went to court and filed for “Equitable Paternity” and he still has 11 more years of payments to make for a child he never had with a woman he wanted to help until she “Got back on her feet.” Another case involved a man who regularly gave money to a woman he was dating to take care of child care needs. When they split up he was given the bill of those child care needs until the child is 18 years old even though he wasn’t the father and had sparse dealings with the child.

These are just a few of dozens of reasons you shouldn’t date a single mother. Simply put dating a single mother takes much more effort than dating any other woman and has a fraction of the return, not to mention the possibility of being forced to make financial payments for nearly two decades. Are there decent women out there who happen to have a child, yes. Are there decent women out there who happen to have been in prison for drug possession, yes. Would I ever consider dating either of them, no, but that’s my preference.