TBRDR.com » Ann Marie http://www.tbrdr.com The Bathroom Door Rule - Your Online Dating and Relationship Site Mon, 03 Jan 2011 06:17:07 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Thank God for abortions http://www.tbrdr.com/thank-god-for-abortions/ http://www.tbrdr.com/thank-god-for-abortions/#comments Mon, 11 Sep 2006 00:52:53 +0000 Ann Marie http://tbrdr.com/dating/thank-god-for-abortions/ Recently I was listening to a radio program where they were having people call in who have had an abortion to give their perspective. Most people calling in to the show seemed to have a fairly one dimensional view. Either they were seventeen year old girls who got drunk at a party and decided not to keep the baby or they were misinformed religious fanatics who consider masturbation genocide. After listening for my half hour commute I realized how few people portray what I have found to be an average story. When I was twenty two I had an abortion, and it was the best decision I’ve made in my entire life. I had been with my boyfriend for two years and we had a stable, monogamous relationship. I had recently graduated from college and my boyfriend had just been accepted into a masters program. Despite the use of birth control I had gotten pregnant. My boyfriend and I had a several hour conversation about how this would impact our lives and what was the best choice for us and for any potential child or children we may have. We had discussed similar topics in the past and we both had wanted children. Ever since I was young I always wanted to be a mother, although I had pictured things a little different than this. After a long discussion we decided for our own well being, as well as the well being of any potential children, that now was not the right time to have a child.

I’m now twenty nine years old, married to my then boyfriend, and we have been blessed with two amazing children. Sometimes I think of how my life would have been different had I decided differently. For starters my now husband would have had to drop out of his masters program. For three years we barely made ends meet while he was in school and it would quite simply have been impossible to take care of a child at that time. I wouldn’t have been able to reach a point in my career that I could make a comfortable salary from home while watching my children. Simply put, if we had had children when I first got pregnant we wouldn’t have been able to adequately provide for the child.

Listening to the radio program I felt sorry for some of the people who called in. I felt sorry for the women who took abortion lightly. Abortion is not a form of birth control or a free ticket to sleep around. At the same time there’s nothing evil about getting an abortion. I am a catholic woman with strong family values which is why I had my abortion. When I look into the blissful eyes of my children I know they’re better off having me to take care of them rather than a relative or a babysitter. When I see them playing with the educational toys I wouldn’t have been able to afford or interacting with other children at the pre-school, I know I did what was right for them. When I saw my son take is first steps, rather than be told the events by a babysitter, I knew I had made the right decision. Having the abortion wasn’t just the right decision for me or my husband; it was the right decision for any potential children. In my opinion there is no greater sin than to bring a child into this world you can’t provide for.

For me the topic of abortion boils down to responsibility. If you choose to bring a child into this world than you better be able to provide for it. If you get pregnant and can’t provide for a child at that time, maybe you shouldn’t have the child. That doesn’t make you a bad person, just a responsible one. I’m reminded of something comedian Chris Rock said during a comedy performance (I’m paraphrasing here) “If a kid calls his grandmom mom, and his mom Pam, you’re not saving up for college you’re saving up for bail money.” This has a grain of truth. Children take a lot of time, effort, money, and care. If you’re lacking in any of those areas than the decision to bring a child into the world may be a decision to semi-raise the criminals of the future. I’m not saying abortion is always the answer, but for myself, and women I’ve met who have been through similar circumstances, it has been the single best decision of our lives.

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