One of these two will catch the attention of the other on one dating website or another. They chat casually via instant messenger and flirt shamelessly on the telephone. It is likely that they will engage in cyber-sex before they ever even meet.

They meet. They eat, drink, and have sex. The woman goes home feeling even worse about herself than before. The man sleeps soundly in his bed after a mediocre booty-session with a woman who has obvious self-esteem issues.

That’s about the typical Internet encounter.

I am not the average woman I described above. I am a corporate-kick-ass, get-it-done girl with a good body and a sharp mind. The Internet was NOT the way I planned to meet a man, much less one that would be worth anything.

However, as my career took off, my travel plans expanded to include both coasts and both borders of the States, I sought an alternative to barhopping in every new town I visited. Dating (if you could call it that) over one hundred men in two and a half years, I was a Serial-Cyber-Dater!

My first encounters began in my hometown, before I began traveling. One of the first men I met, I like to refer to as “Urkle.” This man had his pants pulled up under his armpits. His tie was tucked into his waistline. He was wearing mismatched shoes, one blue, and one black. He was about 10 years older than his profile and picture claimed. As if his appearance wasn’t punishment enough, the conversation was even worse. Urkle was boring, thought too highly of himself for being the person he was, and was just a downright asshole. He walked me to my car and went in for the kiss. I suddenly turned my head and he got a mouthful of hair. I jumped into my car and sped out of the parking lot, out of this man’s life.

In Denver, I met a man online and we decided to physically meet at a 7-11. We met; he said he was going to get a soda from the 7-11. I got a business call and had to take it. Twenty minutes later, he hadn’t come back. He never did.

In Wisconsin, I met a BMW salesman. He told me he would take me out the next weekend. I waited. He never showed. He called. “I forgot I had to do my taxes tonight. I can’t take you out.” This was in the middle of July. Soooooo urgent.

Most of my experiences with Internet dating played out like bad dates in a novel. I almost would have preferred having sex with Mr. Fling and feeling awful about myself the next day. Had I known then what I know now, I would have had a much easier time screening the losers from the, well, MVP’s.

Some tips on Internet dating?

• Don’t look for Mr. Marriage. The Internet is full of Mr. Flings and that’s what you’ll find. The good news is that some of the Mr. Flings are really Mr. Marriages. You just have to click with the right Fling.
• Never agree to meet someone at a convenience store. It never works. They always run. Trust me.
• Don’t be dishonest in your profile. Don’t be generic, either. Let your personality shine through. Most dating websites give excellent tips on writing a great profile-take advantage. Part Deux will be on profile perfection.
• Know how to spot the freaks. Anyone who refuses to show you a picture, talk on the phone or meet you in public is a big NO! For the most part, Internet dating is safe. Just be sure to tell someone where you are going to be, and make sure it is a well-lit, public place.
• Lastly, don’t limit yourself to just meeting people online. Be sure to go out to dinner, have a drink at a cool bar, and frequent an art gallery you enjoy. Sticking only to online dating can cause mindless hours sitting in front of a computer scanning worthless profiles that you’ll never even contact. Get out and have a little fun!

The bottom line is this: Make sure you connect with someone on more than just a sexual level. Engage them in good conversation and find out if they can hold their own. Build a relationship rather than expecting it to happen overnight. Get to know this person you met in Cyber Land. Otherwise, you’ll end up like “Miss Blondie,” in a cyber world trying to figure out all the rules, or like “Mr. Fling”, with seventeen STD’s and twenty kids by twenty-five women.

Imagine it, you’ve become fairly close friends with a co-worker and eventually one of you walks up to the others desk when they’re on their Myspace account. Naturally one of you adds the other. At some later point you happen to be checking out their page and see quite an attractive person in their top 8. You click on that person’s page and it seems they’re perfect for you. They like the same bands, books, they even have a cool song on their page and some cool artwork as their background. Now you’re forced to make a choice, do you write the person yourself or do you press your co-workers for more information?

If you write them yourself you’re asking for trouble. Maybe this person’s dating your co-worker and they just haven’t gotten to the point where they change their Myspace to, “In a relationship.” Maybe it’s your co-worker’s brother or sister and they happen to be over protective. Maybe it’s an ex of your co-workers. There may not be a right way to pursue things, but writing them without consulting with the person who directly knows them is definitely the wrong way.

So you decide to press your new friend for some info on this gorgeous individual. Now you’re potentially risking your new found friendship for a person you don’t know. The only right answer is, “Yea they’re single and you two would be a good match. I’ll talk to ‘em for ya.” Anything else is an answer you don’t want and could place a little resentment on either side. If they’re nice it would be something like, “I just don’t think you’re their type.” If they know when to shut up it will end there and you’ll be spared the, “She/He just happens to like the more athletic type.” (AKA you’re fat.)

Let’s say you dodge all these hurdles. Your friend gives you their blessing and you actually go on a date with the hottie you saw on Myspace. Great, well you met through a common friend so you’re going to spend some time hanging out with them. If you have a few friends in common expect to see a lot more of them. This is great as long as you’re both on good terms with all of them all of the time and are perfect for each other in every way and get married and live happily ever after. Otherwise every disagreement is a blog your friends read, every argument is a point for friends to take sides, and god forbid you break up and cause a rift through the entire continuum of online friends.

You might be saying to yourself, “OK fine, maybe I shouldn’t date friends of friends on Myspace, but what about people I search for who don’t know anyone I know? Well in my opinion this is less messy than dating in your web circle, but it has it’s own unique problems. If you’re going to use Myspace to search for singles in your area you’re turning myspace into any other online dating site with one huge exception, anonymity. On a dating site no one knows anything you don’t want a perspective date to know. They don’t see pictures your friends post of you on their page, they don’t read blogs you or your friends might post, and they can’t get personal information you or your friends might share about you. Myspace is a potential stalker’s playground.

I’ve dated people I met on Myspace, and I’ve dated people I met on match.com. I can’t say match.com is better or worse than any other dating site but it’s the one I tried and it worked great for me. With match.com everyone I meet has romantic interest, not just too much time at work. At match.com people only know what I want them to know, there’s no fear a co-worker will identify the building I work in from 9-5. On match.com my friends don’t hear or meet any potential dating interest until I want them to, I don’t have potential dates posting things on my page or contacting my friends. At match.com if I don’t want to talk to anyone I click one button and never hear from them again, on Myspace I might have to deal with them contacting my friends, family, and potentially stalking me. Don’t get me wrong I love Myspace, I’m on it almost every day, but I use myspace for friends and family, when I want to try internet dating I go to a site that’s made for internet dating.