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If you were driving your car through a neighborhood covered in graffiti and barred windows you might be inclined to lock your doors. This would be a natural reaction to the warning signs of your environment. When it comes to dating and relationships there are many types of warning signs. Some warning signs are as obvious as an Adam’s apple, others as subtle as a sigh, but of all the dating warning signs the one that goes the most unrecognized has got to be the “Potential” warning sign.

The word “Potential” seems to be used by dating spin doctors to look at a negative trait in a positive light. “Sure he drives a Civic, but he has potential.” “I know he’s just a mechanic, but he has potential.” When a woman says a man has “Potential” what she’s really saying is that she plans on changing him. He might be happy with a modest job, car, and a two bedroom house, but she wants more, and rather than finding someone new she plans on changing the man she has into the man she wants.

If you find yourself in a conversation with a woman talking about your “Potential” know that she’s not giving you a complement, in fact it’s quite an insult. She’s talking about all the things you could be, all the things you aren’t. You might be blinded by her kind nature or disarming approach but the truth is you’re not what she wants. You might think she’s the only one who gave you a chance or that she’s the only one who sees how unique you are. I’ll even admit, she sees something in you that no one else does… someone else.

If a woman says you have potential what she really means is you’re not good enough… yet. Maybe after she badgers you into a career change you’ll make enough money for her. Maybe if she cries and complains enough she’ll emotionally blackmail you to stop going to play poker with the boys. In a relationship with a woman who sees your potential you can only be sure of two things. You’re not what she really wants, and she’s going to try to change you whether you like it or not.

Think about the person who made you happiest in your life. Just picture them smiling or cuddled with you on the couch. Would you ever say that they had potential? Absolutely not, they were what you wanted, they made you happy. If you want to be happy again than avoid the passive aggressive games. Avoid the calculated tears or subtle insults. If a woman tells you that you have potential, leave her and find someone who will appreciate you for who you are.